AllFreeNovel
Share Us
We sit and make small talk for an hour, sipping our sweet tea and just enjoying some sisterly time together. Braden sleeps the entire time during my visit. Savannah tells me that he has the stomach bug, and I remember how vicious the virus is from when Heidi Jo was sick a while back. After I’ve over stayed my welcome, and Josh’s incessant glares and huffs have pierced my skin enough, I decide to make my way home for a quiet evening.
Chapter 4
Returning home from Savannah’s that evening, I check my voicemail to find two messages from Colton. I know he worries about me on any given day, but I’m positive that now that I’m pregnant he will be even more over protective. I kinda hate that. I like my independence. I don’t reply to his messages. I miss him, and hearing his voice, feeling his touch would soothe me immensely right now. But I need to separate myself from him over the next few weeks, just like I have over the last month. He knows I’m scared about the pregnancy, so maybe he will give me some breathing room. Ah who the hell am I kidding?
I clean the house from top to bottom because God knows nothing settles my rambled nerves like staying busy and the smell of Lysol. After the house is spotless and sparkling brightly, I soak in a scolding bubble bath. The scent of Japanese cherry blossoms fills the room and it reminds me of the first shower Colton and I took together after our first very passionate and seductive evening together. We had just unleashed Hell’s fury on each other and hadn’t spoken in over a week. We both were hurting, invisible wounds cut deep enough to cause us to bleed to death. When he showed up on my door step, he had no words. But he had actions. He showed me just how badly he was hurting and how he wanted to erase all of my heart ache and make me whole again. I replay the last few months over and over in my head and hate myself more for being such a selfish bitch.
As the bubbles fade and the water turns cool, I climb out to get dressed. I towel dry my hair, then pull one of Colton’s old t-shirts on over my chest and slip on a pair of hot pink boy shorts. I go downstairs to lock up for the night when I realize I haven’t eaten today. I’m scared really to even try, but I know I need the nutrition if not for myself, but for the baby. I pull a bowl of white seedless grapes and a bottle of water from the refrigerator, then carry my tired legs back up to my bedroom.
I flick the TV over to The Late Show with Jimmy Fallon, then settle into my comfy bed, covering my legs with the thick, down comforter. I snack on the grapes and laugh my ass off at Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake doing their History of Rap. The two dance and rap in sync to some of the best rap songs of the 90’s. When that part of the segment is over, Justin tells Jimmy about his 20/20 Tour and of course the hour is filled with tons of laughs. These two need a show together. They’d kill the Nielson ratings for sure. When the show is over, I flip the TV to Sirius, turning the volume to a soft level before pulling the pillow over my face to succumb to sleep.
The next morning I’m awake with my head over the commode as the alarm blares around the room. And this isn’t my first bout morning sickness for the day. I was awake at three AM vomiting, then again at five, and now at six. I brush my teeth to erase the acidic taste from my mouth, then pull a hoodie on over my camisole and slip into some baggy boot cut jeans. I toss my caramel waves into a messy pony tail, forgetting about makeup all together. Trudging down the stairs, I grab my things before heading out the door. I don’t want to cause too much of a commotion at work with my absence, and I’ll be taking time off occasionally for my OB/GYN appointments. So I force myself to suck it up and go into work as if everything is fine.
When I get into my office, I’m surprised to find a vase filled with an assortment of beautifully arranged flowers- lilies, hot pink tulips, yellow and baby pink roses, and baby’s breath. All my favorite flowers. My heart constricts a little, seeing the sweet endearment. Colton is doing whatever he can to make me feel his love. I set my bags beside the desk and remove the card from the arrangement.
~Miss you Beauts
No signature is need
ed. I’ve avoided Luke since I last saw him in December. No point in stringing him along with false hope…or so I thought. I debate on how to properly thank him for the flowers, but can’t settle on contacting him just yet. I place the vase on the bookshelf behind my desk, then start out my day as I normally would, submerging myself in emails, productivity reports and safety reports. I have a dozen messages and a pile of mail to sift through so I lay those aside to look through later.
Colton comes in a short while later, closing the door behind him. His smile is splayed brightly across his tan face, flashing his gorgeous beaming smile. “How ya feelin’ this mornin’?” He asks, taking a seat in front of my desk.
“I’m okay. How are you?” I reply, not looking up from my work.
“Just worried about you as usual. Texted and called ya a few times last night, but you never answered.”
“Sorry, I went to Savannah’s for the evening, and my phone died on the way home. I didn’t turn it on until this morning.” So I tell a little white lie. He knows it too, but he doesn’t call me out on it. Looking past me, he eyes the bouquet of flowers.
“Well, you’re birthday ain’t til May, so what occasion did I miss for someone to be sendin’ ya flowers, darlin’?” He asks with a cocked eye brow. I’m sure he knows who sent them, but he’s just gauging me for honesty, which I’ll happily give him at this point.
“Oh those?” I shrug. “They were on my desk when I came in this morning. I think Luke may have sent them, but the card doesn’t say.”
“Well if it doesn’t say who the sender is, what makes ya think Ashton sent them?” He stands, and walks around to the bookshelf, removing the card. “Beauts, huh? That his little pet name for ya?” He asks peering at me, his fierce brown eyes have darkened in anger.
“Friends, Colton. I’ve told you this.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard it til I’m sick of hearin’ it. Friends.” He sputters with a chuckle.
“I’m not tied to anyone, if you don’t recall. I can have friends as I’ve told you before. Hell, I haven’t even talked to Luke since before Christmas, Colton, when he was here in the office.” Colton’s eyes cast down, as his lip form a hard line. He flexes his hands at his sides, then walks to around the desk.
He stops mid stride, turning to look at me he mumbles, “Are you really gonna do this, Carly Jo?”
“What am I doing, Colton?” I sigh, turning away from my work to focus on him. Thick tension clouds the room, and I have to remind myself that keeping my distance from him for now, will possibly guard his heart.
“You’re pushin’ me away ‘cause you’re scared. I told ya yesterday, I want us to be a family.” He accuses, and he’s right, but it’s the only choice I have in this very moment. I take a minute to think, choosing my words carefully.
“I’m not pushing you away, Colton. I just found out I’m pregnant. We have so many issues to work through before we become anything. I’m just not ready to rush into things.”
“So what has changed since yesterday?”
“Nothing has changed, Colton. I love you, you know this. But I just need to figure out everything before I commit to you.”
“Well, you let me know when you got your shit together.” He rips the door open and storms out of my office.
For the last week, I’ve kept my distance from Colton, only speaking to him when absolutely necessary-work related. The tension between us is mutual. He senses my fear of becoming a mom and moving forward with him, but he thinks I don’t trust him with my heart. And he’s right…part of me doesn’t trust him with my heart, but that’s only because deep down inside I know that Colton Weston could destroy me simply by his touch. I’ve always had a weakness for him, it ain’t something that vanishes with ease. Not when you love a person with every ounce of what you are.
Harboring an explosive secret, one that could potentially destroy several lives is enough to tatter any nerves with anticipation and fear. I hate treating him like a rag doll, but in the end when my secret is exposed, I can only pray that he will understand why I tried to protect him.
