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Only one person wanted them to suffer. Well, two. Jake wanted them to hurt as much as they hurt me. As much as they hurt—
“You say that, but you seem to lose more of your anger with each kill. You almost seem…a little too peppy these days. For the past few weeks, you’ve giggled and acted high every time I’ve talked to you. You getting tired of this? It’s not too late to back out.”
That has nothing to do with the kills. It has everything to do with Agent Bennett. Not that I’ll tell Jake that. He’d flip his lid if he knew I was… Well, I’m not really sure what I’m doing with Logan to be honest, besides smiling like a loon every time my phone goes off with a new message from him.
If I told Jake I’m interested in an FBI agent who happens to investigate serial killers, and is possibly investigating my case, he’d probably flip the hell out.
Because it’s stupid.
And I should end it.
But I can’t.
When you go so long feeling cold and detached, then a complete stranger ignites the dormant feelings you thought were forever gone…you can’t help but be addicted to it. You can’t help but revel in the smiles you forgot how to use, or the laughter that sounds unnatural coming from the lips that haven’t laughed in years.
Whoa. I need to slow down. I’m one fantasy away from tattooing his name on my ass.
I can’t help but wonder how things might have been if my past hadn’t been derailed and cluster-fucked to hell and back. I think he would have really liked the old me. I was clever, funny, quick-witted, and slightly dramatic. I also cried if I accidentally killed a bug.
Now… Now I’m a 5’4 package of vengeance that no one sees coming.
“I’m peppy because it feels good. Maybe it’s a high from the adrenaline or something,” I lie.
“Really?” he asks, sounding confused.
I know Jake supports what I’m doing. He was there. He helped me pick up all the pieces and glue them back together the best he could, even though I could barely stand to be around anyone.
But he doesn’t want the grim details, and I doubt he feels comfortable with me telling him it makes me feel like a goofy grinner—even though it isn’t the kills making me a goofy grinner. But I can’t give him the true facts. Because…World War III and all that. I don’t want him to talk me out of Logan, when I’ve almost done it to myself too many times.
“Really,” I lie again.
I really hope I flirted right with Logan. I thought I was following his lead. He often gets called away during the middle of our texting sessions, which means it could be hours before he texts back, so I try not to overthink it.
My eyes flick back to where Tyler is already cleaning up. He’s just as quick as I remember.
One more week until kill day.
“I still think you have should nixed the castration. If they dig too deep into the town’s history, they could eventually unravel it all too soon,” Jake says, reminding me he’s still on the phone.
“You remember what they did, right? I want them to feel the worst pain imaginable. I want to remove that last ounce of power… That last shred of dignity.”
Blowing out a long breath, I listen to him grow silent on the other end.
When he continues to hold his tongue, I try to put his mind at ease.
“Even if they did figure out a ghost rose from the dead, I take plenty of forensic counter measures. The feds suspect some big, strong guy. I strangle them to render them unconscious, instead of using anything to aide in incapacitating them, the way a woman would normally do. And I do it while they’re on the ground so as not to betray my height. I’ve trained for this for years. Stop worrying.”
He sighs harshly. “I hate you leaving the bodies there for them to find. I’d prefer it if you took them to an isolated, controlled location, then dumped the bodies somewhere they’d never be found.”
“I wanted them found. I wanted them linked together. I just didn’t want it to happen this soon. I want them scared when I start dropping lower on the list. By the time I reach Kyle, I want him to be crying in fear. That’s why I’m saving him for last.”
“And what happens if he goes to the cops when he figures out the pattern? Eventually this will hit the media, you know?”
I’m surprised it hasn’t already.
“I knew the risks going in, and Kyle speaking to the feds about a ghost girl killing people who brutalized her ten years ago isn’t one of them. He’d have to explain why someone was picking these guys off. You know none of them will ever do that.”
A secret like they’ve kept would eat anyone alive…if they had a conscience. Only they feel they were justified in hurting innocent people.
