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I’m questioning everything I’ve ever stood
for.
Judge, jury, and executioner has never been something I’ve agreed with. I’ve fought for legality and true justice. My entire world has centered around it since I was offered a position within the FBI.
“How’d you learn to fight like you do?”
“You haven’t seen me fight,” she sighs. “I’d never fight you.”
My lips twitch as I glance down at her. She peers up at the same time.
“Should we test to see who’s better?”
She stifles a grin, trying to keep a serious face. “Agent Bennett, I think it’d be emasculating if I kicked your ass. So don’t worry, I’ll hold back if you ever get brave enough.”
I laugh, finding the sound almost sad. Her smile is just as grim amidst the heavy air around us when she lays her head back down and resumes her task of tracing idle circles.
“So now that all your worst secrets are aired, maybe you can share a little about your past,” I say quietly, feeling her stiffen next to me as her fingers still on my chest.
“You’ve already heard everything they did. Do you need more detail than that?” she asks in a harsh whisper.
I tilt her face up, palming her cheek. She meets my eyes with the same fearlessness she faces the rest of the world, but I see the vulnerable girl tucked away inside her; the girl she has to protect after all she’s been through.
“I was talking about your past before all that happened. Something that would tell me about the girl you used to be.”
She cuts her gaze away, blowing out a breath.
“The girl I used to be is dead. Knowing how naïve and fragile she was won’t do anything but break your heart right now. Because you’ll picture me as her. You’ve had the real me the entire time, Logan. Nothing between us or how I was with you was a lie. Only snippets of my past were altered for the sake of keeping my secret.”
I can feel her drifting away even as she presses closer to me.
Instead of letting her float off inside her own mind, I shift, turning and coming down on top of her. She tries to kiss me, but I pull back as I settle comfortably between her legs and keep my lips just out of reach of hers.
“Part of the reason you’re so fierce today is because of that girl. Pretending as though you were never her is one step closer to detachment from reality. It’s a dangerous slope.”
She rolls her eyes, but a small smile forms on her lips, surprising me. I’ll never get tired of how she never reacts the way I predict. Half of the reason I fell so hard was the constant mystery cloaking her.
Even as pieces of the puzzle continue to fall together, I’m still just as intrigued and mystified by her.
“You sound like Jake,” she finally says, running her fingers through my hair as her legs tangle with mine.
“I hope Jake never held this position while having this conversation.”
She laughs, rolling her eyes again, and finally she sighs.
“Jake is just a friend,” she says quickly.
“So you’ve said.”
She flashes that smile that is real and not weighted like all her other ones have been tonight. For some reason, she likes it when I get jealous.
“My mother and father were peculiar people with varied interests. My brother always said they had ‘eclectic’ personalities.”
It’s so out of the blue that I don’t know how to respond. Fortunately, she doesn’t need me to speak to continue her story.
“They loved classical music, and hated that none of us had an ounce of musical talent. But they also loved their hard rock and jazz too. You’re supposed to be able to judge someone based on their taste in music—hence the reason my brother deigned them with the eclectic personality label.”
Her smile grows.
