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I lean in, closing my
eyes.
The scent of the pine and snow smells like Narnia and Christmas. I can almost smell the wrapping paper.
I reach out with my cutters and take one of the twigs attached to a bough. I squeeze the handle, prying the small branch left and right, but it’s frozen.
The crisp snow falls off a branch and lands on a sliver of my wrist, and I can almost taste the silvery flavor in the air. I pull at the twig, twisting it, but then suddenly someone reaches around me and slices the twig off in one swift motion.
I jerk my head, seeing Kaleb looking down at me. The hesitance that’s usually present in his eyes is gone, replaced with calm. He hands me the twig, and I take it.
“I wanted to make something for the house,” I say quietly.
But he doesn’t reply, of course. Kaleb doesn’t care what I’m doing or why.
Reaching out, he slices off another twig, the needles spreading their snow all over my boots as he holds the branch out to me.
I nod, taking it. I open my mouth to say thank you, but I stop myself. Instead, I meet his eyes and tell him with a small smile. Without waiting for him to walk away, I point to another one, and he reaches around me with both arms, cutting off the twig and laying it in my arms. I reach up, pointing to a higher branch, and he stretches above my head, working his blade again.
We move around the tree, picking nice, long twigs with dense needles, and I’m not sure how long our little truce will last, but I’m sure it will last longer the more I don’t talk.
The next branch breaks off, the snow on it sprinkling over me and landing on my eyelashes and nose. A glob lands right on my cheek, and I wince, shaking my head and brushing off my face. I smile, but I don’t laugh. I don’t make any sound. When I look up, Kaleb is watching me with an amused tilt to his lips.
I take the branch and whip it at him, his head jerking away to avoid the flurries, but I catch his grin.
My own falls, a sting hitting the back of my eyes as I stare at him. That’s the first time I’ve seen that. Something like happiness on his face.
He meets my gaze, and I quickly blink away the tears, not sure what the hell is wrong with me. It’s only a beautiful smile, because I’ve never seen it.
We move to the next twig, and I instruct him with a nod to cut that one and a few more close by. He lays them in my arms as the wind kicks up, and thunder cracks overhead. A shiver runs down my spine.
He reaches around me again, his arms circling me as he lays the last twig in my arms, and I stay there, waiting for another branch, but…
It doesn’t come.
I close my eyes, feeling a light snowfall hit my cheeks.
I want to turn around.
And I don’t.
Kaleb scares me. Making love to him, it felt like… Like I’d never wake up.
Like I was suspended. I didn’t like it.
But I loved it.
I was lost but at peace. Drifting. With Noah and Jake, I can see the future. I know what will happen, but with Kaleb, there’s nothing. I can’t see the next five minutes, because the feelings evolve. He changes me.
I’m afraid I’ll lose my foothold. I don’t want to go back to being who I was. Scared, waiting, unsure… I don’t want anyone to have so much power over my emotions again.
He just stands there behind me, his warmth making the hair on the back of my neck rise, and I look down at his arms at my side, feeling his head drop into the back of mine.
A lump stretches my throat.
But I lean back into him all the same, a fire coursing through my blood.
This is how he talks to me.
