AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Votan was not going to like this. “There.” She pointed to a ball of dust on her cot.
“What’s that?”
“Our way out.” Had she not just said that? Give a thirsty man a glass of water and, suddenly, he’s Mr. Questions!
“A ball of lint?” He shot an angry look at her. “What were you smoking while I slept?”
“That, genius, is a dust fairy. You know, the ones who sprinkle dust all over your house, cousin of the dust bunny?”
Votan stared.
“Surely you’ve heard of dust.” Cimil threw her arms in the air.
“Yes…”
“Haven’t you ever noticed how you can clean a table and ten minutes later the dust is back?”
“You’re asking the God of Death and War a question related to cleaning?”
“Okay, fine. Stupid question. But the dust fairies play an important role in annoying humans while also keeping them healthy. Just like the BO fairy. They’re like an alarm. Time to bathe!”
Votan stared coldly with his turquoise eyes. “I am now one hundred percent certain that you have lost your marbles, the box the marbles came in, and the marble factory where marbles are produced. That is how few marbles are in your possession.”
“Thank you. May we escape now?”
“Cimil, I am beyond the point of patience lost, so cease with these games at once. This clump of fibers cannot get us out of here.”
How was it possible that he, the God of Death, War, Multiplication, Drums, and a few other mundanities, had no ability to see the brilliant solution she just laid out?
“Dust fairies, you moron, break things down into tiny particles and move them.” Cimil raised a brow. “Now you get it?”
A slow smile crept over Votan’s lips. “Godsdammit, I really can’t stand you. But no one can deny your madness is genius on occasion.”
Cimil buffed her fingernails on the front of her pink leotard and took a bow. “I take payment in Slinkies or coffee tables covered in Wonder Woman decoupage.” Cimil turned to Gloria, the dust fairy. “I’m sorry you can’t come with us. But I promise I’ll do my best to free you and your people as soon as this demon takeover has been thwarted. In the meantime, you’re safer here.”
Cimil listened to the teeny-tiny high-pitched screech. “Gloria, of course.”
“What is she saying?” Votan asked.
“She wants us to promise to get Bo out of here first.”
“A BO fairy?”
Cimil rolled her eyes. “Bo is her beau, a sunshine fairy. Duh.” How else could dust fairies be seen? Dust needed sunlight. Sunlight needed dust. Without each other, they couldn’t reach their full potential.
“Duh indeed.” Votan, God of Death and War, looked like he wanted to make some death happen in her general direction.
“Let’s roll, Gloria. Make me into tiny pieces.” From there, Cimil could float out of this cell, find the other deities, and bring everyone to the portal. Unfortunately, the nearest portal was the demonic sort, just down the hall in the broom closet.
I wonder if I should tell my brethren about the side effects of demon portals? They were notoriously tricky and didn’t work at all like the gods’ portals. Way more features. Lots of destabilizing ions. And crap-scented. Nah, why ruin things?
Besides, better just let them enjoy their final days before Tracksuit Godzilla shows up.
“Human world, here we come!” said Cimil.
Gloria squeaked.
“What do you mean Minky’s missing?” Cimil gingerly plucked the tiny fuzzy clump from the cot.
Gloria explained that she’d been floating from cell to cell, hoping to find Cimil so they could come up with a plan to get back home.
“What’s she saying now?” Votan asked.
“Apparently, the buzz down in cell block U is that the demon king came for Minky, and she hasn’t been seen since.”
“Why is that a problem?” he asked.
It wasn’t. Unless Mittens was out again, too? Maury had already used them once, so she wouldn’t put it past him to do it again. They were a powerful supernatural weapon unlike any other.
But Maury had already rid the world of immortals. So what use could he have for Minky?
Unfortunately, Cimil wasn’t getting any clues from the dead of the future. They were all too busy having hissy fits over nonstop Flipper reruns because after the demon king took control of the world, he would ban all TV channels except for TV Land.
Sounds like a fun future to me. Cimil shrugged. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Minky can fend for herself.”
“I hope you’re right, Cimil,” said Votan, “because I wouldn’t put it past the demon king to be up to something else. Just look at where we are.”
Votan was right. If the dead weren’t talking, she was going to have to start calling in favors from the demon world. She knew how to twist a few horns. Plus, a ton of demons owed her money from poker. And Auntie Cimil is calling in their debts.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
