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But what about the past week hasn’t been insane? Killing Ray and being saved by virgin wolves? From where I’m standing, coming face-to-face with a bear doesn’t seem insane. It seems like the most natural thing in the world.
Either I’m losing my mind, or I am finally finding it.
I am part wolf, part mother, part woman, part… Well, I suppose I am part daughter too. But what is a daughter when you’ve never had parents?
“What?” I ask her, trying to see what she sees, understand what she seems to intrinsically get.
Me.
“What am I?” I ask, realizing my question has suddenly changed.
Her paw reaches toward me, and I stiffen, wanting to memorize this moment for what it is. She presses her paw to my heart, it takes up the entirety of my chest, and she seems to transmit words to my mind, the same way the wolves and I speak.
Darling Remedy, you still don’t know what you are?
I shake my head, tears filling my eyes, her presence overwhelming me.
It is simple. You are enough.
The tears fall down my cheeks, my breath shaky as the sobs escape me.
I’m lost in the woods, have set a forest to burn and the ground to shake. I killed a man and never had a family. I’m a runaway and vagabond and ruined every good thing I’ve ever had. I’m a thief and a cheat and a liar and yet here I am, still standing.
This bear says I am enough and all I want in the word is to believe her.
I want this child within me to know its mother is more than the sum of her past. I want this child to know I am stronger for it.
Why am I here?
The bear smiles serenely as if it knows everything, past and present. And in this moment, I believe that she does.
Because, Remedy, this is your home. But you have three sisters you must find.
And that is when my wolves appear.
Intent to rescue me. But before I can stop them, they leap toward the bear, coming at her from the side.
Taking her down.
19
River
Remedy’s scream shakes me from my objective.
“She’s not hurting me!”
I roll from the bear’s back, shifting to human form to speak to Remedy.
The bear is soaked in blood, wounded, and whimpering. Rem moves toward her, but I pull her back.
“You can’t get hurt Rem,” I warn.
“Let her go,” Rem says with tears on her face.
Cal and East shift to human form as they realize that Rem is upset—not at the bear, but at us.
The bear, free from their attack, runs from us, toward the woods, away from the fire growing around us.
“She’s hurt,” Rem screams, falling to the forest floor. “You hurt her,” she shrieks, turning her focus on us.
“We were trying to protect you,” I say, kneeling next to her.
“But she was my protector… my guide.”
“She attacked you three times, Rem. She’s not guiding you anywhere but harm’s way,” Cal insists.
“No.” Rem shakes her head, her long red hair a tangled mess, mascara streaking her cheeks, her clothes dirty and ragged. “I think I had it all wrong. Had her wrong. I think she came for me, to help me. But I.…” Rem presses her hands to her face, crying.
I pull her into my arms, wanting to be the safe place for her to let down her guard.
“I think I was the one who lashed out at her, pushed her away like I do with everyone. With everything. Fight or flight, right? But what if I’d just listened to her that first night? Tried to understand?”
“Then you wouldn’t have needed us,” I say, softly.
She looks up into my eyes. “I do need you,” she says. “I need you because you are my mates.”
“You truly believe that?”
She bites her bottom lip, and then exhales as Cal and East step closer. “I know it with all that I am. I don’t know why it took me twenty-one years to find out who I am, or where I belong— but now I know.”
“And you belong here, with us?” I ask, pushing her wild hair from her eyes my forehead pressed against hers. Callum and East kneel beside us, the moment somehow holy and broken and perfect, all at once.
“I am here,” Remedy whispers. “Because this is my home. You three, are my home.”
I kiss her then, my mouth on hers, my need for her deeper than desire. Our eyes close, and my hands hold her neck, wanting to take care of this fragile beast. Her wounded heart is finally beginning to mend. “We love you, Remedy.”
“And I you,” she whispers reaching for Callum’s hand and East’s hand, holding this moment for what it is. Ours.
The flames are thick around us and we need to move, now.
We stand, understanding the urgency. “I don’t know how to stop it,” she says.
