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“We should probably get back to our tent before we get too cold,” I said after a few minutes of peacefully holding her against me in the water.

“Do we have to?” Jules asked.

I grinned. “We should. We’ve got a drive ahead of us tomorrow. And I don’t want to keep you up all night.”

“Bad news,” she said. “I think that’s a bear standing on our clothes.”

“What?” I asked.

Sure enough, there was a bear devouring the chicken we’d stupidly left by our clothes.

“Wow,” I said. “That’s a black bear.”

“Okay, Mr. Former Outdoorsman. In your expert opinion, should we go ask it if we can have our clothes back?”

“Black bears are generally pretty timid,” I said.

“I forbid it,” Jules said, clutching me tighter. “I’m just starting to like you. I’m not about to let you go pull a naked Steve Irwin and try to shoo that thing away.”

I laughed. “You forbid it, do you? What are you going to do to stop me, exactly?”

Jules got a look of determination on her face. She dipped her right shoulder slightly and a moment later, I felt why. I went tense as she took me around my still hard cock in a vice grip.

I groaned. “Oh,” I said.

“Yeah, oh,” Jules said, grinning wickedly. “I’ve got you by the cock, and I know where to find your balls if we need to escalate this situation.”

“Alright,” I said. I grinned, then moved my hips against her hand, forcing her to give me some semblance of a hand job.

“Don’t turn this erotic,” she warned. “I’ll jack you off and go right back to threatening to squeeze your balls. I swear I will.”

I chuckled. “We’ll just wait until it finishes, then. It’s no big deal.”

“You or the bear?” she asked.

“Either,” I said.

We waited there, half wrestling in the water until Jules followed through on her promise, except I couldn’t stop myself from sliding inside her again and fucking her from behind after a few minutes of her hand on me. It was an interesting challenge in the water, but I was able to press her ass against me and hold her head above water while I did what I wanted with her.

I spun her to face me for a kiss when I was done, but she reached right back down and took me by the balls this time.

“Wow,” I said, trying not to panic. I didn’t know if she understood the pure power of literally having a man by the balls. A single muscle impulse from her could have me bent over in nauseating pain. I looked toward the bear and my stomach sank when I saw it was sleeping and three cubs were flopping around nearby. “Bad news. Black bears are kind of aggressive when their cubs are around. And that one looks like it’s sleeping. I think that’s your underwear it’s sleeping on.”

“What do we do?” Jules asked, still gripping my balls.

“We swim to that shore over there.” I pointed. “And we sneak our naked asses back into camp. It’s probably almost midnight. Chances are they’ll all be sleeping anyway.

29

Camper Carl

I kicked my feet up by the roaring campfire we’d set up. I’d never camped in New York, but if this was the way the Yanks did it, then they could count me in next year, too. Everybody at the campsite had gathered around the big fire and all the adults were happily on our way to drunk.

The kids were over by the campsite that was weirdly set up with all brand-new gear. I tipped back my beer, looking toward their stuff. It was the strangest thing. Some guy from the local outdoorsman store came by and brought load after load of brand-new shit. Tents still in the bag, chairs, cooking utensils, and he’d even finished it all off with a few bags of groceries. I’d been expecting some kind of old incapable rich guy type. Instead, this male model guy and his bombshell of a girlfriend had showed up there.

I drained the last of my beer and shook my head. That was fuckin’ New York for ya. Bunch of weirdos and people with way too much genetic good fortune on their side.

“Hey Carl, you going to dance or just sit there all night looking sleepy?”

My wife was drunkenly stumbling around, curling her fingers towards me as she rocked her shoulders back and forth.

I laughed and went to her.

There were two or three dozen of us all having a good time around the campfire. Someone was playing guitar and a few of the women were singing a surprisingly good rendition of James Taylor’s Copperline. I was impressed they knew as many of the words as they did.

I was really getting into things when the kids screamed.

The person on guitar missed a note and the three singing voices cut off abruptly. That was when we saw the model guy and his girlfriend come bursting out of the trees at full speed and fully nude.

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