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“That sounds about right. And every once in a while Coop will feel sorry for me and bring over food.”
Trevor’s hand stills midair, and then he slowly puts the bite into his mouth.
“What was that?” I ask.
“What was what?”
“You just got a funny look on your face.”
He swallows his bite and shakes his head. “It was nothing.”
I set my fork down and reach for his hand. “Tell me. If we’re going to make this work, we have to be able to talk to each other.”
“It’s silly.” He links his fingers with mine, and when I just stare at him he sighs. “Fine. I was just thinking that my brothers know you better than I do, and that bothers me.”
Warmth seeps through my veins, making my toes tingle. I push up from my chair. Trevor scoots his back, allowing me to settle in his lap.
“Your brothers know all the surface stuff. They know I can’t cook. They know I’ve never ridden a horse, that I hate hot dogs, and that appletinis are my favorite drink. They don’t know that bacon and eggs are my favorite breakfast—”
“You’re just saying that,” he interjects.
I shake my head. “I most certainly am not. They also don’t know that I despise my feet.”
“Or that you snore.”
“I don’t snore.”
“You do. And it’s cute,” Trevor says, kissing the tip of my nose.
“My point is that they only know the basic stuff. They don’t know the deeper stuff, the things I keep hidden from the rest of the world.”
“I want to know those things.”
I run my fingers down the side of his face. “I feel the same way about you.”
Trevor kisses me long and deep, and by the time we part, the bacon is cold and Milo has managed to find her way onto my lap, trying desperately to get to Trevor’s face. I pick her up and set her back on the floor. She whines for a second and then prances away.
“I really want to tell you I love you again,” I say, looking at Trevor.
“So why don’t you?”
“Last night was emotional for both of us, and I wasn’t sure if you said it because we were in the heat of the moment, or if you meant it, and then I was wondering if it’s too soon—”
Trevor puts a finger to my lips. “You think too much.”
“I’ve been told.”
“Yes, last night was emotional, and yes, I said those things in the heat of the moment, but it doesn’t make my words any less true. I told you I love you because I do. I’ve known you my entire life. There are pictures of you in our family albums, Claire. My love for you started out organically, and it has grown over the years into something much deeper. It is rooted in these spectacular memories I have of you, and it’s growing by the second.”
He runs his fingers through my hair and continues. “When I say I love you, it’s not to get you into bed. It’s because I mean it. I love your smile and the way your eyes light up when you laugh. I love your fiery red hair and how you’ve always got a strand of it wrapped around your finger. I love the way you scrunch your nose when you’re thinking and how you talk with your hands. I love how loyal you are to your friends and how you talk to Milo like she’s a human being. But most of all, I love how you make me feel. You make me want to be a better man, Claire.”
“Trevor—”
He cuts off my words with a deep kiss. “I don’t want you to say anything. You don’t need to return the sentiment. I just want you to know that when I tell you I love you, I mean it, and if you love me, then please, tell me, and if you’re not ready to say those words again, that’s okay too. I’m in this for the long haul.”
The long haul.
Thoughts of Trevor’s occupation leak into my head, and I remember all the nights my mom sat up waiting for Dad to get home from a fire call. It would be easy to let my insecurities get the best of me. I could withdraw and push Trevor away and tell myself I’m better off without him, but I already know that’s not true. Instead of letting my fears get the best of me, I choose to bask in the beautiful feelings Trevor brings out in me.
