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His words are a slap to the face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re being a coward, Abigail. You say you’re leaving because of what I said, but I think you’re using that as an excuse. I think you’re too scared to stay. You’d rather have safe and comfortable than something scary and new, and I gave you the excuse you needed—handed it over on a silver fucking platter.”
I can’t believe he thinks that. Pinching my lips together, I shake my head. “That’s not true. I was ready to move here, to change all of my plans to be with you.”
“Then why were you trying to bail at the first sign of trouble? Trouble that didn’t even really exist if you would’ve taken the time to talk to me. God, Abigail,” he growls. “I was excited to come over here and tell you what I’d done. I figured you’d be just as thrilled. We would celebrate, make love, and then I’d take it a step further and ask you to move in with me. And now everything is fucked up, and my position is gone.”
“I didn’t ask you to give that up. I never would’ve asked you to give up your job for me!”
“I know you didn’t. But I wanted to, Abigail. That’s how much I care for you, that’s how much I want to see where this thing between us could go. That’s also why I didn’t want you in there. I knew you would’ve thrown a fit if you knew what I was about to do.”
I hate this. I hate that he did something so amazing for me and we’re fighting over it. Mostly, I hate that I was about to walk away. He’s right; I am a coward.
“I’m sorry, Drake. You’re right. I should’ve talked to you first.”
Slowly, the insecurities start to creep back in, wrapping themselves around my brain and my heart.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe this was my way of getting out. I thought I was ready for such a big change, but what if this was my subconscious telling me I’m not?
“Now what?” he asks. “Are you going back to Texas? Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know.” I raise my arms and drop them. “I don’t know what I want,” I say, trying to make sense of the thoughts racing in my head. “I need a minute to process everything and think about it.”
“What is there to think about?” he asks desperately. “You either want to be with me or you don’t. Which is it?”
“It isn’t that easy.”
“It is,” he shouts. “It is that easy.”
“Not for me,” I yell back, hating the sound of my voice. Huffing out a breath, I take a step back. “It’s not that easy for me. I need some time to think about what I want.”
“Take all the time you need.”
Drake doesn’t look at me as he walks out of my apartment…and my life.
The door slams shut.
I sit down and rest my head in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut tight.
God, he’s so infuriating.
And sexy and sweet and kind and thoughtful.
I’m an idiot.
Holy shit, what have I done? The first little spark of anxiety, and I let it control me. I allow it to cause doubt. And maybe a small piece of me wanted to hurt him the way his words hurt me. But now I feel like shit because Drake’s gone, and he thinks I don’t want to be with him. He thinks I have second thoughts, when really I don’t.
I want Drake Merritt more than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone.
Grabbing my purse, I race out of my apartment, but his car is already gone. I watch his taillights as he turns right at the end of my road and disappears from sight.
Chapter 14
Drake
I pull into my garage, throw the Tahoe in park, and stare sightlessly at the stethoscope sitting in my passenger seat, wishing I’d waited to step down as chief. I made it through medical school and my residency without letting a woman cloud my judgment. And then Abigail walked into my life.
Fuck.
