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The more I think about Rex, the harder I cry, but for the life of me I can’t stop thinking about him. The way his dark brown eyes went heavy right before he kissed me. Feeling his soft lips worship my skin. Hearing him whisper dirty things in my ear. The touch of his skin.
Oh, for the love of God, woman, stop it.
Stop doing this to yourself.
Sleep evades me as the clock on the wall pushes closer and closer to midnight, and I’m seconds away from giving up on trying to fall asleep when the intercom buzzer goes off. Sniffing, I open my eyes. There are only two people who would buzz at this hour: Erin or JJ, and my guess is one of them forgot their key and can’t get in. This has happened on more than one occasion since I’ve moved in. I’m half tempted to ignore it just to teach them a lesson when the buzzer sounds again.
Oh, fine.
I fling my legs over the edge of the bed and grab a Kleenex from my nightstand.
“I’m coming. I’m coming,” I mumble, though no one can hear me. I blow my nose, toss the Kleenex in the trash, and wipe the tears from my eyes only to realize it’s pointless. My eyes are puffy, my nose is probably red, and there’s no way to hide that I’ve been crying.
Clearing my throat, I press the button next to the speaker. “Let me guess, you forgot your key?”
“Shae.”
I yank my hand back as though the intercom is on fire.
“Shae,” Rex says again. “Let me in. We need to talk.”
I press the button to talk. “Go away, Rex.”
“I can’t. Not until we talk,” he says gently.
“There’s noth
ing to talk about. You broke up with me.”
“I know you’re upset, but—”
“I’m not upset,” I lie, refusing to let him know he has the power to hurt me.
Oh my gosh. I gave him the power to hurt me.
There’s a pregnant pause, and I step closer to the intercom.
“I fucked up, Shae.” He sighs. “I need to make it right, and I would really like to do that in person.”
I shake my head. “Not tonight, Rex. It’s late, and I’m tired.”
“Shae.” The gentleness in his voice is gone. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. It’s your choice, sweetheart, but I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”
Before I can consider telling him no, my traitorous hand pushes the other button, allowing him up, and two minutes later a loud knock startles me. With my hands pressed to the door, I look through the peephole. Rex looks disheveled and upset, and a piece of my hardened heart softens.
But then I remember his words and his cowardice and the way he made me feel, and that prevents me from opening the door.
Self-preservation at all costs.
“Open the damn door, Shae.” A pause. “Please.” He knocks again, and I close my eyes.
My body hums to life at the sound of his voice, and it’s as though I can feel him through the door, feel the pull his body has on mine, which is why I can’t open it. Look what his stupid voice already made me do. One look at him and I’ll cave.
“I think you said everything you needed to say.”
He doesn’t immediately respond, and I push up on my toes, looking through the peephole again. He’s staring at the door, and even though I know he can’t see me, it feels as though he’s looking right at me.
“You’re going to open this damn door and let me explain. Then, if you still want me to leave, I will, but I will look into your eyes when I tell you what happened.”
