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“Trouble in paradise?” I asked lightly, trying to make it a joke.
“Ella is starting to get a little too demanding,” he said. “It might be time to end things with her.”
I bit my lip, unsettled by the perverse thrill that went through me at his words. As a result, my next statement was at odds with my true sentiment. “Don’t make any rash decisions. I don’t blame her for wanting a little more. You guys have been going out for a while.” I paused before continuing. “If you want, we can reschedule the aquarium for another time so that you can hang out with her today.”
I wanted to take back the words right after I said them, but it was too late. Even though Logan hadn’t answered yet, I was already disappointed by the prospect of not spending the day with him. I was relieved when he shook his head.
“Don’t try to get out of going to the Half Pitcher,” he said with a wry smile. “And we’re ordering the nachos, regardless of your lectures about calorie counts.”
His refusal to give up spending the day with me made a spring of happiness well up inside me. I pushed aside the questioning thought of why it was so important that he not cancel on me for Ella. “You’re on. Let’s go.”
The interior of Logan’s Range Rover was spotless, as usual. I tended to be on the messier side, and had to constantly remind myself not to leave wrappers and water bottles behind whenever I was in his car, which was pretty frequent. I didn’t have a car of my own since I didn’t find it necessary living in Chicago, but every once in a while, having a friend with a car was invaluable.
“I love this song!” I exclaimed as I turned up the volume to OneRepublic’s Feel Again. I started singing along, not caring that I was horribly off-key. I poked Logan in the arm. “Sing along!”
He grimaced in response, although I could see the smile he was trying to suppress. “I think my eardrums just shattered. Your falsetto sounds like a cat dying.”
I grinned and ignored his complaint, continuing to sing along, although I knew he wasn’t exactly exaggerating. I wasn’t known for my beautiful singing voice, but I was feeling happy and light, and the upbeat song just added to my good mood.
When we got to the aquarium, we parked and waited in line at the ticket counter. Fortunately, the line wasn’t too long, and after we handed our tickets to the attendant, we were immersed in another world. It was soothing to be surrounded by glass walls full of sleek animals slicing their way through the deep blue water. We spent a good amount of time at each exhibit, saving my favorite for last. As we neared the sea otters, I was literally pulling him along to make him move faster as my anticipation of seeing those cute, furry faces grew.
The new exhibit was expansive, and I immediately spotted at least ten otters gliding through the water. We spent some time in the underwater viewing area, but my favorite part was watching them on the surface of the water, so we made our way upstairs to lean against the railing.
I couldn’t help squealing like a little kid as I watched them floating around on their backs. “They’re so freaking cute! I wish I could take one home with me.”
“It’d probably be a little difficult to have a sea otter as a pet,” Logan commented drily. “I can’t imagine they’d be happy swimming around in your bathtub.”
Logan stood next to me with his arm casually around my waist and his hand braced against the railing on the opposite side of me. It was nothing unusual, since I was normally affectionate with all my friends, but this morning’s awkwardness still lingered, and I wasn’t feeling completely myself around Logan. The heat of his arm around me felt almost stifling, and I straightened so that he was forced to let his arm drop.
“I guess,” I answered lamely. I watched the sea otters do their water gymnastics for a few moments as my mind scrambled for something to say. I was rarely ever at a loss for words around Logan. Our conversations were natural and organic, and I usually felt at ease around him, but right now my emotions were confusing me. I was too aware of him as a virile male today, and I wished I had some space to get my head on straight. My thoughts strayed to a time when my feelings for him had been much more than platonic, but I shut down that line of thinking immediately. There was no point in rehashing an impossible desire. Besides, I had moved past that a long time ago.
“Do sea otters mate for life?” Logan asked conversationally, oblivious to the internal battle waging inside me as he watched two otters clinging together by their paws.
“No. They have multiple partners throughout their life. The males are jackasses, too, when they mate. They scratch the females all up, and usually hold them down underwater in the process.”
For some reason, my blunt answer gave me some measure of satisfaction. Logan raised an eyebrow at my reply.
“I guess sea otters don’t do monogamy very well. Although, all that other stuff could be considered foreplay. Maybe they just like it rough.”
I knew he was only joking, but his comment irritated me. I had a sudden flash of him and Ella passionately making love, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I found myself speaking in a combative, aggressive tone—something I rarely directed towards Logan.
“Sea otters aren’t the only species that don’t do monogamy well,” I said acerbically. “Humans are pretty messed up in that area, as well. You should know that better than anyone, considering you can’t seem to stay with one woman for more than a few months before bailing.”
I stared straight ahead of me, knowing that my response was irrational and my attack uncalled for, but I hadn’t been able to prevent the words from spilling out. I was afraid to look at Logan, so I just concentrated on the sea otters, which didn’t look so cute anymore. After a long stretch of silence, I finally gathered the courage to turn to look at him. He was studying me with a frown, looking more perplexed than angry.
“What’s wrong, Madison?”
I shrugged, knowing that I was acting like a hormonal teenager having a temper tantrum, but my embarrassment at my behavior just made me more sullen. “Nothing. I was just making an observation.”
“Is everything alright? Is something going on between you and Adam that you haven’t told me about?”
Logan’s gentle tone made me feel even more ashamed, and I dropped my head, breaking eye contact. I didn’t know what was wrong with me today, but I vowed not to take it out on Logan anymore. When I finally raised my head again to look at him, I saw his blue eyes were concerned.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I didn’t mean that crap about you and the women you date. It’s none of my business how you want to conduct your relationships. And there’s nothing wrong with me and Adam. At least, nothing more than I’ve already told you. I guess I just woke up on the bitch side of the bed today.”
Logan didn’t speak right away as he gazed at me as if he was trying to determine the sincerity of my sentiments. I was relieved when he finally gave me a wry smile.
“Remind me never to ask you about sea otters and their mating habits again. I didn’t know it was such a hot-button topic for you,” he said drily. He pulled me towards him with his arm around my waist. “Now let’s kiss and make up.”
