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“That’s good enough for now,” Logan replied, sounding relieved. “Maybe once you give it some time, you’ll see that a friendship between us can work.”
“Well,” I said awkwardly after a brief pause. I had nothing left to say. “I guess I’ll be in touch when I have a better idea of how I think we should move forward.”
“What about the Fourth of July?” Logan asked quickly, as if he were loathe to let me off the phone. “I was thinking of having a barbecue at my place.”
“A barbecue?” I asked skeptically, recognizing that I wasn’t in any hurry to end the call, either. “How are you going to have a barbecue in an apartment?”
“Hey, just call me resourceful.” His change in tone made it apparent that he was trying to inject some levity into the situation. “I have a hibachi grill and a balcony. What more do I need?”
“Is that even legal? I’d hate for you to get kicked out of your apartment when you’ve just moved back.” I tried to match Logan’s light tone, but it wasn’t easy.
“That’s for me to worry about. So will you come?” He sounded so hopeful, but I knew better than to agree right away.
“I need to think about it,” I said, trying to make my tone serious. The Fourth of July was only a few days away, and I didn’t know if that was enough time to give me some space and perspective. “Can I let you know on Wednesday?”
“Sure.” He sounded a little deflated that I didn’t agree right away, but I tried to ignore how his disappointment made me feel. “Feel free to invite Emily.”
I felt both a sense of relief and emptiness when I disconnected the call with him. I sensed that I was on a precipice, and my decision as to whether I was going to give our friendship another shot would determine if I was going to be pushed over the edge.
I told myself over the next couple of days that I definitely wouldn’t be going over to Logan’s on Thursday for the Fourth of July. I even told Emily I was sure I wasn’t going to go when I told her about my conversation with him. Yet, when I called him on Wednesday to graciously refuse his invitation, I found myself agreeing to attend.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Emily asked when the cab dropped us in front of Logan’s apartment building. I felt a sense of déjà vu—it was the same exact question she had asked me the night of Logan’s disastrous party. Although I probably should have known better this time, my answer was the same.
“I’ll be okay. If it gets to be too much, we can just leave.”
We made our way up to Logan’s apartment, and I tightly gripped the bottle of wine I had brought as we waited for him to open the door.
I was irrationally disappointed when Kristina opened the door instead of Logan. She looked effortlessly pretty in a pink sundress that made her look like the epitome of the girl-next-door. I felt instantly drab in my jeans and tank top. I had dressed casually since it was a barbecue, but I had a feeling I was woefully underdressed. Emily was dressed as informally as I was so at least we would stick out like sore thumbs together.
“I’m so glad you two could make it!” Kristina exclaimed as she ushered us inside. I tried to not seem too awkward as I returned the enthusiastic hug she gave both of us. I was surprised when I saw that no one else had arrived yet and my worry about being underdressed vanished as another worry took its place. Where was everyone?
“Thanks for inviting us,” Emily said, handing her the bottle of wine she’d brought. “We weren’t sure what to bring so we just brought a
couple bottles of wine.”
“Thanks!” Kristina said with a wide smile. “We already have some beer and wine, but these will be a great addition.”
I wordlessly handed her my bottle as she waved us towards the living room and told us to make ourselves comfortable before disappearing into the kitchen.
“Uh, where the hell is everyone else?” Emily asked under her breath as we sat down on the sofa.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “Maybe we’re really early or the other people are really late.”
Our hushed conversation was cut short when Logan strode into the living room. Even in jeans and a t-shirt, his presence was overwhelming; he seemed to fill the room. His smile when he saw us was a mixture of eagerness and caution. We stood to greet him, and I felt a thrill of awareness when he leaned down to give me a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Thanks for coming over,” he said as he looked down at me with his bottomless blue eyes. “It means a lot to me.”
I took a step back to maintain some distance between us. “Sure. Thanks for inviting us.” I bit my lip as I tried to think of how to phrase my next question, but there was no other way to ask except to be blunt. “Where is everyone?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, looking honestly perplexed.
“You know, the other guests,” Emily chimed in. “Are we really early or something?”
“There are no other guests. It’s just the four of us. I thought it would be nicer to have a smaller gathering.” Logan shrugged. “I guess I forgot to mention it.”
Great. I would have no buffer between me and Logan. Not only that, I would have a front-row seat to his and Kristina’s lovey-dovey relationship.
“Logan, get them some drinks,” Kristina said as she came back into the living room carrying plates of cheese, crackers, and dip. “Help yourselves to some snacks. I’m not sure how well Logan’s grilling on the balcony is going to turn out, so we might be reduced to making a meal out of this. I also have a pizza place on speed dial in case it comes to dire measures.”
