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Logan used his foot to anchor my jeans and panties to the ground so I could step out of
them. I shuddered at how deep he went into me when I wrapped my legs around his waist. I should have been worried that someone would hear us outside, especially since my back was slamming rhythmically against the door. But all I cared about was Logan’s invasion into my body and the growing tension between my legs.
“Shit. I’m not going to last long. It feels too damn good.” His voice was hoarse as he continued to thrust violently inside of me. He was gripping my waist so hard that I was sure I would have bruises there tomorrow, but right now I didn’t care.
“Don’t stop,” I gasped as I strained for my release. “Don’t stop until you come inside me. Please.”
My words seemed to enflame him. I didn’t think it was possible, but his thrusts became even more feverish as he plunged into me over and over again. I couldn’t suppress my cries as I reached the peak of desire, and my body was wracked in pure pleasure once again. I felt Logan shudder, and he groaned as he found his own release as he came inside me.
When the haze of my desire dissipated, reality came crashing down on me. What had seemed so passionate moments before now felt tacky and ugly. I lowered my legs and he slipped out of me. I stepped back, although it took some effort because my legs felt like they were made out of rubber.
I didn’t look at Logan as I grabbed my jeans and panties and pulled them back on and readjusted my shirt and bra. When I finally lifted my head, he had pulled himself together as well. He was watching me with an inscrutable expression.
“What the hell is wrong with us?” I finally said wearily. Self-loathing washed over me.
Logan took a step towards me, but I shook my head, holding my hand up to stop him from getting any closer. He made a sound of frustration.
“Maddie, it’s obvious that there’s much more between us than friendship. I can’t tell you how many times I regretted not giving you another chance when you asked for one a year ago. But we can make up for it now.”
“What about Kristina?” I cried out. “Where does she fit into all of this? I can’t be some slut that you see on the side.”
Logan shook his head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’ll end things with Kristina.”
That should have made my heart soar, but instead it left a bitter taste in my mouth. “She left her life in California to move here with you. She’s in love with you. You’re okay with telling her that she uprooted her entire life for nothing?” Cassie’s face flashed across my mind. Was I willing to take another victim for the supposed love between Logan and me? Why did our feelings for each other have to hurt other people? I couldn’t help feeling like I was being given another chance to make things right with Cassie, to make the honorable choice, yet I was going down the same road of temptation again.
Logan grimaced at my words. “I’m not saying it’ll be easy. I care about Kristina, but it was a mistake to have her move here with me. I convinced myself that I could be happy with her, but the moment I saw you, I knew it was impossible. Don’t think it hasn’t escaped my attention that I sought out someone who reminded me of you.”
I shook my head at his confession. He confirmed everything Emily had said about Kristina being so similar to me, but instead of making me feel better, it made me feel worse. She was being used. We had used Cassie, too. We had used her and her late night rehearsals as an excuse to constantly be together.
“I don’t want to hear this,” I said, trying to keep my emotions from spiraling out of control.
Logan saw right through me. “Is it because of Cassie? This has nothing to do with her. The situation is totally different.”
“How?” I cried out. “How is it different? It’s exactly the same! The only thing different is that I’m going to stop this before we hurt someone again.”
Logan reached for me but I pulled away before he could touch me. His hand fell limply to his side. “Maddie, it’s not the same.”
“I need to go.” I felt raw and desperate, and I needed to get out of there before I became hysterical. But before I ran away, I had to make sure Logan wouldn’t do anything rash. “Don’t break up with her, Logan. We’re letting our emotions get the best of us right now. Don’t do something you’ll regret.”
“It’s too late. I already regret so much, but the only thing I don’t regret is being with you.”
“Just promise me you won’t break up with her. Not until we’re thinking straight.” Panic rose when Logan didn’t say anything. I knew I was projecting Cassie onto Kristina right now, but my rational mind couldn’t break through the hysteria that threatened to overtake me. “Promise me! Please!”
Logan sighed and rubbed his forehead wearily. “I promise I won’t break up with her until we’ve had a chance to talk again. That’s it.”
I nodded. It was enough for now. “Just tell her I’m sick and had to go home.”
I opened the door to the storage room and made a beeline to the entrance of the bar. I wasn’t surprised that no one had heard us since the bar was so noisy, but a worker could have walked in on us at any time.
Luckily, because of the dense crowd, it was easy to escape without Kristina seeing me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the sidewalk. My relief was short-lived, however, and I walked blindly down the street, not really sure where I was going. I couldn’t believe what I had allowed to happen. I could feel Logan’s semen drip out of me onto my panties as I walked, and I felt a confusing mixture of shame and remembered desire.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I was alone, but I knew who I was talking to. But Cassie would never be able to answer back.
Chapter Twenty
I looked up nervously at the roller coaster that seemed to stretch up until it touched the sky. The thought of riding down the steep hills made my stomach turn.
“I don’t know if I want to get on that,” I said nervously. I had never understood Cassie’s love of roller coasters, and I usually declined riding the larger ones whenever we went to an amusement park. “I think I need to have a last will and testament before I get on something like that.”
