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Simon was able to draw out details about my life and I shared with him what it was like growing up without a mother and a father that seemed disinterested. Simon told me about growing up in this house and his parents, pausing every now and then to lightly kiss me on the lips, or sometimes on the forehead. For someone who had grown up with little physical affection, I felt like Simon was the sun and I was a flower that had been in the shade, finally blooming from his ministrations.
I shook my head at my maudlin thoughts. Pretty soon I was going to start writing bad poetry about Simon's eyes.
"There you guys are!" Sarah was rounding the corner of a high bush with Grant trailing behind. "I was looking everywhere for you two." Sarah glanced at our interlocked hands and she tried to suppress a smile, somewhat unsuccessfully, but thankfully didn't comment.
Simon glanced at his watch. "Wow, I didn't realize so much time had gone by."
"What time is it?" I leaned closer to Simon to look at the face of his watch. "It's already past noon!" I couldn't believe Simon and I had spent the past two hours lost in our own world. It had seemed much shorter than that.
"Aunt Beth said we're leaving for lunch at one," Grant said. If he noticed that we were holding hands, he pretended not to.
"Caitlin, can you come with me up to my room? I want to change my top. This sweater is too heavy. I thought it was going to be colder." Sarah looked at me as if she was trying to communicate something with her eyes. I could imagine what it was. I knew her inquisition was inevitable so I figured it was best to get it over with.
"Sure." I started to slip my hand out of Simon's but before I could, he tightened his hold and pulled me closer so I was facing him. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and grinned at my shocked expression. I knew he was affectionate but I hadn't expected him to kiss me in front of Grant and Sarah, no matter how quick the peck.
"Meet us in the foyer at one," he said, letting go of my hand. I nodded, having nothing to say, and walked over to Sarah who was looking amused. We left the boys behind as we made our way into the house.
"What the heck is going on between you two?" she asked in an excited whisper.
"Shhh," I whispered back vehemently. I glanced behind us and saw Grant and Simon watching us leave. "They'll hear you. At least wait until we're in your room before you start the interrogation."
Sarah rolled her eyes but she obliged my request. When we got to her room, she closed the door behind her. "Okay, tell me everything."
I laughed at her eager expression. She was practically hopping from one foot to another in anticipation.
"There's not much to tell. Simon came back last night to check on me to make sure I was okay. And we...ended up kissing and he spent the night in my room."
"What?! You guys slept together?!"
"No, no," I replied quickly, shaking my head. "He slept in here. As in literally sleeping."
"Oh." Sarah seemed a little deflated by this revelation but it was then replaced with an expression of outrage. "You waited all this time to tell me this? You could have told me this morning!" Her mood quickly shifted again as she looked thoughtful. "What were you guys doing when we couldn't find you?"
"Sarah, slow down." I laughed at her huff of impatience. "Okay, okay. Well...when we came upstairs to get our coats, we kissed again. It went a little further than kissing."
"How much further? Horizontal further?"
"No! We kissed, then he..." I blushed, not able to finish the sentence. There hadn't really been much to talk about in the area of my love life in the past and I was unused to giving details. I waved in the general direction of my chest, hoping Sarah would get the message.
"Wait, shirt on or off?"
"On. But kind of pushed up."
"And?"
"That's it. I mean, it was getting a little too...heated. So I asked Simon to take it slow."
Sarah flung herself on the bed with a sigh. "Wow, this is a lot to process. You went from swearing Simon was just a friend to making out with him." She propped herself up on her elbows. "Why'd you tell him to stop? Are you really trying to take it slow? Or is it because of your visions?"
I sat down next to Sarah, taking a deep breath. Even though Sarah didn't know everything that I had discovered about my visions, she still knew that they were a hurdle for me. It would be difficult to let anyone in, let alone someone who had been in one of my visions.
"I'm not sure. I'm getting tired of denying that I feel something for Simon. Even though we've only known each other for a short period of time, it's like I'm irresistibly drawn to him. I keep telling myself it's crazy, to feel so deeply about someone I don't know very well. But that's just the thing. I feel like I know Simon better than almost anyone. And I feel like he knows me better than anyone." I grabbed a hold of Sarah's hand, giving it a quick squeeze. "Except for you, of course."
Sarah gave me a sad smile. "Caitlin, I would be ecstatic if you and Simon were together. If you told him everything. You've been so careful all your life to stay on this path you've locked yourself in. And I understand why you've done it. Believe me, if I were you I'd probably be in some corner in a fetal position. But you're strong enough to take a chance. A chance for yourself. And Simon."
Sarah paused, seeming to ponder her next words. "I've mentioned before that Grant's told me that Simon always talks about you. I'm not kidding. That Sunday after Jenny's party, when you pushed him away, Grant said Simon was a mess. I mean, a real mess. Grant told me that Simon had been ranting and raving about making a fool of himself over you. That he was done. But then in the next breath he was pleading with Grant to try and find out from me why you were pushing him away. If there really was a Bob. And if there was, where Bob lived. Apparently, Simon wanted to go to him and tell him to man up and be with you, or he was going to do everything in his power to take you away from him."
I was shocked at Sarah's confession, at the intensity of Simon's feelings. Even though Simon had expressed the depth of his feelings, I had still felt like I was the only crazy one feeling the unbelievably strong connection.
