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I gasped when I woke up, automatically throwing my arm over my eyes as the bright sunshine streaming through my window made me squint. I sat up slowly, surprised that it was morning. I hadn't expected to sleep through the night, but my exhaustion had won out.
I wondered at my dream, trying to make sense of the message. It seemed like a warning, but I didn't understand the meaning. Was the line about blood being thicker than water telling me to trust my father? Or did it mean the opposite? I shuddered at the thought of a watery grave, which seemed to point to my mother.
These dreams seemed to be replacing my visions, which I wasn't complaining about since the latter were usually so violent. On the other hand, I wanted to know who the vardogers would be attacking next, and I needed my visions for that.
I wanted to change my clothes, but my bag was still in the trunk of Simon's car. I decided that wearing the same outfit was the least of my problems, but I definitely needed to wash my face and brush my teeth. Despite everything, I heard my stomach grumble. The last time I had eaten anything was yesterday while we were on the road.
I unlocked my door, opening it slowly, but I didn't hear evidence of anyone being home. The window to my bedroom faced the backyard, so I couldn't check to see if any cars were in the driveway.
I went to the bathroom and quickly washed my face and brushed my teeth with a spare toothbrush. I avoided my reflection once I saw how wan and pale I looked, seeming much older than my twenty-one years.
I padded down the stairs, stopping in my tracks when I saw Simon sitting at the breakfast table. He had obviously heard my approach because he was staring at me. I looked away and continued into the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets. I pulled out a bowl, filling it with milk before sitting down at the table with a box of cereal.
I avoided his eyes as I filled my bowl with cereal, although I could see his hands nervously clutching a cup of coffee. I started eating, staring at the cereal box as though it was the most fascinating thing I had ever seen. Despite my conviction last night that I would get the truth from Simon, I was feeling on edge and unsure of what to say.
"Caitlin," Simon said, finally breaking the awkward silence. "Look at me."
I glanced up at him, my pulse quickening when I saw the sadness in his eyes. It would be so much easier if I hated him, if I didn't believe he truly loved me on some level.
Simon sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "About last night...I'm sorry if you thought I was siding with your father. Of course I don't think you're insane. All of this is just hard for me to accept, and I was grasping for a different explanation. An explanation that didn't scare me so much."
I raised my eyebrows, surprised that he was backpedaling from last night's assertion that I was just imagining things. I wanted to believe him, but it seemed too convenient for him to suddenly have faith in me again.
I continued eating my cereal, not saying a word. It was hard looking at him. He looked so weary, the stress of the past few days making his features strained. I remembered how laidback and relaxed he had been the first time I had met him. He seemed like a completely different person from the one I had watched onstage, entrancing the crowd.
"Are we going to Connecticut today?" Simon asked when I didn't respond.
"You're coming with me?" I already knew the answer from the conversation I overheard last night, but I wanted to pretend ignorance.
"Of course. We're in this together." Simon looked so sincere that I wanted to believe him. Maybe it was like he said. He had just been so scared of the truth that he had been looking for any other explanation.
"Where's my father?"
"He left for work. He said to call him once we got to Connecticut."
I nodded, not saying anything more. I finished my breakfast in silence, feeling Simon's gaze on me. It was hard choking down the cereal, my hunger vanishing from all the emotions colliding inside of me.
"Let's go," I said after I had washed my bowl and spoon. I grabbed my aunt's journal and made sure I had the palladium coin in my pocket. I threw on my jacket and followed Simon to his car. The chill of the November air was welcoming, helping to clear my head.
The drive took a little over two hours, the dreary gray scenery not helping my mood. I couldn't wait until winter was over, but spring seemed impossibly far away.
Sarah called me while we were on the road, but I couldn't really say much with Simon sitting next to me. I saw him looking at me from the corner of his eye, so I kept the conversation short, just telling her that we were on our way back to my aunt's house.
I tensed when we finally pulled into my aunt's driveway. Simon cut off the engine and turned to me.
"Can we talk before we go inside?"
"Simon, we've been in this car for over two hours. There's been plenty of time to talk. Why do you want to talk now, all of a sudden?" It was starting to get cold inside the car now that the heat was turned off, but my shivering had to do with more than the chill seeping into my bones.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking. I know you feel like I betrayed you yesterday. I'm sorry. I wish I could take those words back."
Simon looked so sincere, his blue eyes shining with regret, that it was hard not to forgive him. "I know all of this is hard to accept. I just...I just really thought you believed me. It hurt when you agreed with my father that I was just imagining everything."
Simon reached out, gently taking my hand in his. He lifted our entwined fingers, grazing his lips across my knuckles. I shuddered as warmth replaced the chill I was feeling.
"I promise not to ever doubt you again. It's killing me that you're looking at me like you don't trust me. Give me another chance to show you that I have faith in you."
I hesitated, remembering the conversation from last night. "I overheard you talking to my father yesterday."
