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I threw my hands up in exasperation. “So what are we supposed to do? I can’t just sit around anymore and wait for something to happen! Maybe we should go south to try to find my father. You said you lost track of him after Delaware. We could start there.”
Ryan leaned forward, his gaze sympathetic as his eyes locked with mine. “I can only imagine how hard all of this has been for you. From everything Marie has told me, I’m amazed that you’re still standing with everything you’ve been through; still fighting. It just shows how unbelievably strong you are. But we need to figure out what your father’s plan is before we start tracking him again. The worst thing we can do is to do what he expects. And he expects us to follow him.”
I was surprised by how much Ryan’s words affected me. I felt a warm flush at his words of admiration. They meant a lot since it was coming from a fellow seer, someone who understood what it meant to be different from everyone else.
“How do we figure out my father’s plan without putting me under hypnosis?” I asked. “Even though it’s not a guarantee of finding out the answer, it’s better than nothing.”
“Your father will come here once he realizes that you’re not falling into his trap. And you’ll be ready for him.”
I looked at Ryan skeptically. “How will I be ready for him?”
“By killing vardogers while we wait for him. The more vardogers you kill, the stronger you’ll become. The stronger you become, the more prepared you’ll be to fight your father.”
“But I need to have visions to see who’s at risk of being overtaken,” I said in frustration. “I have no idea when I’ll start having them again.”
“I’m sure they’ll return soon. Your mind is probably blocking them because of all the trauma you’ve been through. But in the meantime, we can work off my visions. I’m sure you’ve realized that for a seer as strong as you, you have the ability to destroy vardogers beyond your own visions.”
Simon broke into the conversation before I could respond. I was surprised that I had forgotten his presence for a few moments because I was completely absorbed by Ryan. I had missed the growing tension in Simon’s body, but I didn’t miss how his voice vibrated with anger when he spoke.
“This isn’t a game,” he bit out, his fists clenching in his lap. “Caitlin is in danger and she doesn’t need to go out playing Buffy the Vampire Slayer by hunting vardogers. I’m trying to keep her safe, not actively putting her in harm’s way.”
Ryan’s jaw tightened as he looked at Simon challengingly. “You’re not helping her by keeping her hidden away. She’s no shrinking violet. She’s a seer, and an incredibly powerful one at that. She needs to learn to hone her skills, and she can only do that by using them. You want to keep her safe? Then give her the ability to protect herself.” Ryan’s eyes narrowed as he continued to speak. “Or are you afraid of her becoming stronger? Are you afraid of her seeing you for what you really are? A killer.”
Simon shot up, and before I realized what was happening, he had hauled Ryan up off the couch by his collar. “I’ll destroy you before I let you come between us,” he bit out viciously. “Maybe I should kill you now, to get it over with.”
Instead of cowering, Ryan smirked and met his gaze with no fear. “I figured you’d resort to your true nature sooner or later. I just didn’t realize how soon it would be.”
I felt glued to my chair as I stared at them; seer and vardoger facing off. Natural enemies that were balking at the circumstances forcing them to work together. I had the thought to rush over to try to calm Simon down, to reason with him to take his hands off Ryan, but I remained seated. I couldn’t always be there to diffuse every situation and they needed to come to terms with each other on their own. Besides, I didn’t believe Simon would actually hurt Ryan just because he made him angry. I heard a whisper in the back of my mind that maybe that belief made me a fool, but I squelched the thought as soon as I had it.
Grant and Sarah were also silent as they watched Ryan and Simon face off. Grant looked tense while Sarah looked absolutely frightened, her face ashen and her eyes wide with fear. I knew she still didn’t trust Simon, and she watched as if she expected Simon to tear into Ryan.
Seconds seemed like minutes until Simon finally released his grip and stepped back, his eyes glittering with repressed emotion. “That’s what you want. You want her to see me as an animal. Inhuman. You’re going to have to work harder than that for me to lose it. But I won’t let you put Caitlin in danger.”
“He’s right, Simon.”
Simon turned towards me, and I could see the look of betrayal in his eyes for siding with Ryan. I knew he wanted to protect me, but that’s the last thing I needed right now.
“I need to get stronger to defeat my father. I need to use the time he’s unwittingly given me to strengthen my powers.” I gentled my voice before continuing. “And I’m a seer. This is my calling, what I’m meant to do. I can’t deny it. I don’t want to deny it.”
Simon’s expression darkened. “There’s a difference between pursuing vardogers you’ve seen in your own visions and going after the ones Ryan sees in his. That’s his goddamn calling, not yours.”
I stood and walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm. “Please don’t fight me on this. I need your help. I need you to be on my side.”
An expression of hurt flashed across his face. “I am on your side. I didn’t think you doubted that.”
I sighed heavily, the desire to soothe his hurt battling with the need to stake my independence. “I don’t doubt it. I know you’re just trying to protect me, but I need more than that right now. I need you to believe that I know what I’m doing.”
I wasn’t even sure if I believed I knew what I was doing, and Simon seemed like he was going to argue, but then his shoulders slumped in defeat. “I do believe in you. I’ll support this, but the second I think it’s becoming too dangerous, I’m pulling you out.”
His acceptance was more than I had hoped for, so I just nodded despite bristling at his attitude that he thought he had the right to dictate when it became too dangerous. I turned to Ryan who had been watching our exchange with an unreadable expression.
“I gue
ss now we just have to wait for one of us to have a vision,” I said.
“I already had one last night of a person being killed by their vardoger.” Ryan looked down at the couch and straight at Grant. “It was of him.”
Chapter Four
