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Simon sighed heavily. “It’s not you that I don’t trust. It’s him.”
“Then trust that I know what I’m doing. I’m not just trusting him blindly. I’ll be careful.”
The corners of Simon’s lips turned down but he nodded in acquiescence. I pulled his head down, feeling a rush of warmth run through my body as our lips met. No matter how many times I kissed him, it never failed to quicken my pulse as I felt the familiar need pull at me. Simon cupped my head between his hands, deepening the kiss as I moved closer to him, wanting to feel his body against mine. It was so easy to forget everything in his embrace, but it was dangerous as well. In that moment, the dangers we were facing dissipated and all that was left was my need for Simon. It left me too vulnerable.
I was finally able to pull back. “I need to go to Sarah’s room,” I said breathlessly.
Simon didn’t answer right away as he brushed his thumb softly against my cheek, staring at me intently. When he finally did speak, his voice was low and roughened by desire. “I’m going with you.”
I didn’t object, and we both stepped into Sarah’s room when she bade us to come in after my knock.
“You’re both going to stare at us while we attempt to sleep?” Grant asked with a raised eyebrow. He looked pointedly at Simon. “I’m not sure how comfortable I am with that.”
“Tough.” Simon’s one word answer was said in a tone that was meant to brook no argument.
Grant looked like he was about to protest, but then he just shrugged. “Fine. Whatever. The world has already turned upside down. I guess being watched by a vardoger while I sleep isn’t any crazier.”
I sat in a beanbag chair that Sarah had in the corner of her room, and Simon took her desk chair. It was pretty awkward once Sarah and Grant settled into bed and we turned off the lights except for the small lamp on her desk. Sarah fell asleep pretty quickly but Grant was watching Simon as much as we were watching him, and I thought he’d never go to sleep. But he slowly drifted off, the combination of the day’s trauma plus the beer probably mixing into a potent cocktail for sleep.
Simon and I were silent as the night wore on, but he ended up joining me on the beanbag chair, his body cradling mine as we crowded into the small seat. We watched the haze of sunlight as dawn broke, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I felt the sure and steady beat of Simon’s heart as I leaned my cheek against his chest, trying to convince myself that I could save everyone, including Simon.
Chapter Five
I never ended up waking Ryan to take over watch since it was only a few hours till morning. He was already awake when I shuffled out of Sarah’s bedroom after Grant had balked at being watched while taking a shower. He was sitting on the couch, the sheets neatly folded with the pillow stacked on top.
He didn’t bother with pleasantries when he caught sight of me. “You never woke me to take over watch.”
“I figured it wasn’t worth it since it was only a few hours. I’m not that tired so it was no big deal.”
Ryan looked at me disapprovingly as he stood. “You need to keep your strength up. That includes getting enough rest. You’re no good if you’re weak and tired.”
“I’m fine,” I replied irritably. I didn’t feel like answering to Ryan this morning, whose father figure act was annoying me. I didn’t want to admit that it might have something to do with my exhaustion and the fact that he was probably right.
Ryan just raised his eyebrows but didn’t make any further comment. His gaze shifted to behind me, and I turned to see Simon approaching. Simon didn’t acknowledge Ryan’s presence and just addressed me.
“Grant and Sarah are still determined to go to class today.”
“Is that necessarily a bad idea?” I asked. “We’re all tired of being trapped in here. My father is already winning because he’s forcing us to live in fear, afraid to venture out of this apartment. Now with Ryan here, we don’t have to worry about being surprised by him.” I glanced at Ryan before turning back to Simon. “Ryan and I will go with Grant to class. You should go with Sarah.”
“Absolutely not,” Simon said emphatically. “There’s no way in hell I’m leaving you alone with him.”
Simon’s attitude, compounded by my earlier irritation with Ryan’s demeanor, just made me more frustrated.
“Simon, I’ll be fine!” I exclaimed irritably. “Ryan and I need to be with Grant in case his vardoger tries to attack him. And I’ll be distracted if I’m worrying about Sarah. For once, can you not fight me on this and just do as I ask?”
Simon seemed surprised by my outburst and studied me for a moment before answering. I hadn’t meant to speak to him so harshly, but I was feeling smothered by him. As much as I appreciated him wanting to protect me, I wanted him to believe in my abilities as well.
“I’m just worried about you, that’s all,” he said in a measured tone.
“I know. I appreciate it, but I need you to watch over Sarah. That’ll help me more than anything else. Even though I know my father isn’t an imminent threat, I’d still feel more comfortable if you were with her.” I tried to gentle my tone, but I couldn’t entirely mask my impatience.
Ryan had been watching our exchange silently, and we all just stood there awkwardly until Grant and Sarah joined us. Simon didn’t protest when I told them the plan was for Ryan and me to go with Grant to his classes, and for Simon to go with Sarah. I was also relieved when Sarah and Grant didn’t object to Simon accompanying Sarah since I knew they were still wary of him.
After we all got ready for the day and had a quick breakfast, we went our separate ways. I could feel Simon watching me, but I didn’t look at him as we parted ways.
The cold brisk air was a welcome reprieve from the stuffy apartment, and I reveled in feeling free for the first time in days. Grant, Ryan and I didn’t speak as we walked to Grant’s first class, which, luckily, was a lecture so we blended into the crowd of students in the auditorium. It felt gratifying to just be amongst other people, to go through the motions of normal life, even though nothing about our lives was normal anymore.
“I never thought I would enjoy going to class so much,” Grant commented as we made our way out of the lecture hall after class. “This has given me a whole new appreciation of listening to my professor drone on about musical theory.”
