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Grant kept up the majority of the conversation on the walk over to the apartment and I tried to keep up with it, but my mind was reeling with all the things Ryan had said to me, especially about my aunt. On one hand it comforted me to know she was watching over me, but on the other hand it just confirmed her death again which devastated me.
Sarah and Simon were already at the apartment when we arrived. Sarah was in good spirits, having been rejuvenated by a day spent outside the apartment, and she and Grant did most of the talking. I was exhausted, both mentally and physically, but I didn’t protest when Simon suggested going to the mall so that we could get new cell phones since it was imperative we were able to keep in constant contact. It was almost humorous, the way we traveled in a pack. We all shuffled into Sarah’s car and everyone waited while Simon and I get new cell phones. No one was in the mood to shop so we went home afterwards, only stopping to pick up a pizza for dinner. On the way home I called Colleen, the owner of the diner where I worked. I had completely forgotten about my job amidst all the craziness. I made an excuse that classes and homework were becoming overwhelming and I needed to take a break from working. I was relieved when she didn’t argue too much about it.
The conversation was light during dinner, but once we were finished eating, the topic turned more serious.
“Did you have a vision again last night?” Grant asked, unable to hide the trepidation in his voice.
“I did. It was the same one.” Ryan didn’t go into any further detail and no one asked. There was no need to rehash Grant being shot in death in his vision.
“Do you mind if I ask why you don’t just kill vardogers that have overtaken bodies?” Sarah asked cautiously. “I mean, if their bodies die, they die. That’s why Caitlin’s father is so obsessed with trying to find out how to jump from one body to another to become immortal. Why don’t you just kill the overtaken bodies? It’s not like the human souls are in there anymore.”
“It’s against the seers’ code,” Ryan said emphatically. “A human body is a life, regardless of whether or not a vardoger inhabits the body. And there have been too many instances of a soul being too strong to be pushed out. It usually happens in the cases of seers that have been overtaken, but there have been a few examples of regular humans being strong enough not to have their souls forced out.” Ryan grimaced. “It’s actually worse. You’re helpless to control your body and have to witness all the violent things the vardoger does. In those cases, our hope is to figure out how to push the vardoger out so that the human soul can take control again, but we’ve been unsuccessful so far. Our attempts have destroyed both the vardoger and the human soul.”
Sarah and Grant both looked at Simon after Ryan’s explanation, but he shook his head. “He’s not in here.”
Grant looked deflated by his response, and I was reminded that not only did Grant have to deal with his life being in danger, but also the death of his cousin.
I excused myself to make a phone call to Marie and went into my bedroom. I wanted to check in with her and give her my new phone number.
“Hello?” she answered warily.
“Marie, it’s Caitlin. I wanted to call to see if you had any new information.”
“Nothing so far. Have you met with Ryan?”
“Yes, he’s staying with me while we try to figure out how to defeat my father.”
“Good,” Marie said approvingly. “Ryan’s ability to track vardogers will give you enough time to prepare for your father’s attack.”
“Have you been able to get into contact with other seers? I’m still convinced hypnosis is the best way to get some answers on what to do to win against my father.”
“I’m not sure yet,” Marie replied grimly. “I’m being careful with who I trust. I’ll call you once I know for sure.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “This is my new cell phone number, so just call me on this.”
“All right.” Marie paused before ending the call. “Just remember that you can’t trust anyone completely, Caitlin.”
“Are you talking about Ryan? Or Simon?”
“Both. The only person you can trust completely is yourself. Just be careful.”
Marie’s words were far from comforting as I ended the call. I took the opportunity of being alone in my bedroom to think things through. Simon had warned me about Ryan, Ryan had warned me about Simon, and Marie had warned me about both of them. I trusted Simon because I loved him, and he had given me no reason to distrust him once he had confessed the truth. But I couldn’t deny that for a long period of time, everything had been a lie. Could I really believe that everything he said to me now was the truth, when he had spent the bulk of our relationship lying?
I trusted Ryan on an instinctual level, because he was a seer and I felt a connection to him. But in reality, he was a stranger. A stranger who could have his own motive for wanting to use my powers. I couldn’t completely trust that he didn’t have motives beyond what he had told me.
I sighed in frustration as I rubbed my forehead against a mounting headache. I wouldn’t solve anything by worrying about the same things over and over again. I just needed to focus on my main goal of becoming stronger to destroy my father. And I needed both Simon and Ryan for that. I decided I would be careful but would trust them both until they gave me a reason not to. Otherwise I would drive myself crazy.
Everyone was watching TV when I came back into the living room. Or rather, Sarah and Grant were watching TV while Ryan sat on the couch staring into space, looking engrossed in thought. Simon was staring at Ryan, and his thoughts were a little more transparent by the scowl on his face. His gaze shifted to me when I entered the room.
“Did Marie have any new information?” he asked.
“No. She’s still searching for a seer we can trust so that I can be put under hypnosis.” I put a hand up before he could protest. “It’s been a while since I’ve been put under, and by the time she actually finds someone she believes we can trust, I’ll be more than ready.”
Simon frowned but didn’t argue with me, and I was relieved. The lack of sleep last night was weighing heavily on me, and I felt I would collapse if I didn’t get any rest. I glanced at my watch and turned towards Ryan
“I’m going to get some sleep for a few hours. Can you keep watch until one a.m.?”
“Sure, no problem.”
