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“Good morning,” I greeted Ryan. Remembering the holiday, I added, “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” he reciprocated but he didn’t smile at me. I glanced at Simon and he wasn’t smiling either.
“What are you two talking about?” I started to notice the growing tension in the room.
“Simon was just telling me that he thinks it’s time for me to leave,” Ryan said, his voice bland but his eyes were narrowed. “Nothing new, but he seems to think you’re on board with the idea as well.”
I turned to Simon. “What’s this all about?”
“We don’t need him anymore. I can help you just as much as he can to make you stronger. I’ve been with you every step of the way.”
“You have and I appreciate it, but I still need Ryan. Because of him I’ve been able to learn how to retain much more from my visions. And don’t forget that he’s the only one that can warn us when my father is near.”
Simon looked far from pleased by my response and his lips thinned. “We don’t need him anymore,” he insisted. “We don’t even know how accurate he is with tracking vardogers. All we have is his word.”
I felt my ire start to rise. Just when I thought we had made some progress, Simon’s stubbornness reared its ugly head again. “Don’t forget about Marie. She’s the one that led us to him in the first place, and she seemed pretty convinced of his powers.” I made a sound of frustration. “I don’t want to argue about this again, Simon. Not today.”
I turned around abruptly and stalked into the kitchen. I had planned to make pancakes for Christmas breakfast but that cheery thought was squashed as I leaned against the counter. I wasn’t surprised when Simon followed me into the kitchen.
“What’s this all about, Simon?” I asked in a hushed tone, not wanting Ryan to overhear. “I thought you had accepted Ryan being here.”
“Things are different now.”
“Different how?”
The expression on his face darkened. “Didn’t this morning change anything for you?”
I looked at him, not quite understanding his meaning, and then it dawned on me. “Are you talking about us having sex?”
His jaw tightened but he just stared at me.
“Are you kidding me?” I said incredulously. “Why would us having sex change our need for Ryan’s help?”
Simon
reached for me, pulling me close. His look was almost pleading as he spoke coaxingly. “Because we belong to each other even more now. We can face this together. He’ll just complicate everything. What happened this morning changed everything between us. It’s not just your decision to make anymore.”
I pulled back and glared at him. “Are you saying because I had sex with you, I’m now somehow obligated to do what you say?” My anger was growing and I stared at him disbelievingly. “I don’t belong to you, Simon! I’m my own person and I make my own decisions!”
Simon started to grow angry as well. “That’s not what I’m saying! I belong to you just as much as you belong to me. I just thought my opinion would matter to you now.”
I made my voice controlled even though I wanted to shout at him. “Your opinion has always mattered to me, Simon. I thought mine mattered to you as well. Just because we were physically intimate doesn’t mean I now have to do what you say.”
“Physically intimate?” Simon spat out the words as if they disgusted him. “I thought we made love to each other. I thought we were pledging ourselves to each other.”
His words were confusing me, making me doubt myself. What had been a beautiful moment was now making the situation even worse.
“Of course we made love to each other. I just don’t understand how that affects everything else! What does that have to do with you thinking I should follow what you say, even if I think otherwise?”
Simon rubbed his forehead, looking tired and sad. “I don’t know, Caitlin. I don’t even know what the hell we’re arguing about anymore.”
I took a deep breath, trying to get my temper under control. I reminded myself that getting angry with Simon wouldn’t solve anything. “Can we just drop this? It’s Christmas. For one day, let’s just pretend like we’re normal people.”
Simon visibly flinched at my last statement, and I instantly regretted my choice of words. I had been talking about both of us, but he seemed to think it was a pointed barb at him. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Forget about pretending like we’re normal people. Let’s just remember that we love each other, and that’s the only thing that matters. We can figure out the rest.”
The tension in Simon’s body slowly relaxed and he leaned forward so his forehead was resting on mine. His tone was half-amused when he spoke. “I think I can do that.”
