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“Are you sure this is palladium? This doesn’t look anything like it.”
“It’s palladium,” Marie said shortly. “Let’s get on with it so we can all get some sleep.”
Instead of being offended by Marie’s curtness, Sam just nodded and turned away. I watched fascinated as he put on large gloves and goggles and picked up a long metal cylinder that I assumed was a torch. He turned his head back towards us.
“You should move away.”
We all scurried back as Sam proceeded to place the pieces of metal in a blackened round container. I flinched when fire erupted from the end of the torch, the sound surprising me more than the sight. I watched mesmerized as he kept the torch trained on the iridium and palladium, praying that he would be able to melt them together.
It seemed like forever when he finally turned off the torch. He moved deftly for such a large man as he used large iron tongs to pick up the container and pour the molten metal into a small round mold. I moved closer once he had taken off his goggles.
“The palladium took a long time to melt. Longer than I thought it would,” Sam said, wiping his brow. ‘It needs to cool for a bit before it can be handled.”
I stared at the dull piece of metal in the mold, wondering if this was what would help me defeat my father. It looked like a simple piece of round metal and nothing seemed magical about it. I hoped that I hadn’t misinterpreted what Jenny had told me under hypnosis.
We were silent as we waited for the metal to cool down. It was a bit awkward and I was relieved when Sam finally released the metal from the mold and handed it to me. It was still slightly warm in my hand and I gripped it tightly, waiting to feel some sort of energy or vibration from it, but there was nothing.
“Why don’t I hold onto it for you,” Ryan said. “We don’t know what it can do, and it’s safer for you if it’s not on you.”
“No,” Simon said emphatically. “Who knows what the hell you’ll do with it. I’ll hold onto it.”
Ryan glared at Simon and I suppressed a sigh. Both of them were irritating me with the assumption that I needed to be protected.
“I’ll hold onto it,” I said in a voice that brooked no argument. “We have no idea what powers it has, if any. You’re both in no less danger than I am, so it’s pointless to argue about who holds onto it.”
Both Simon and Ryan looked like they wanted to argue. I glanced at Sam worriedly, having forgotten he was there, but he didn’t seem surprised by our conversation. He obviously knew our cover story was fake but it didn’t seem to perturb him in the least.
“We should go,” Marie said before the conversation could continue. She turned to Sam and kissed him quickly on the lips. “Thanks for your help.”
I couldn’t help wondering about the nature of Sam and Marie’s relationship as we walked out. I was no longer surprised that Sam had gotten out of bed and helped us so late at night since there seemed to be something romantic between the two of them. I wondered how much he knew about Marie being a seer. Despite the fabrication she had told him about why we needed his help, he hadn’t seemed the least bit surprised to hear us talking about powers.
We were quiet on the way back to the apartment, fatigue weighing heavily on all of us. I collapsed onto the sofa when we got back and Simon sat next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him, comforted by his warmth.
“Now what?” Marie asked, sitting in the chair opposite us. I held the metal disk tightly in my hand, trying to will it to give me some insight.
“There’s no reason to stay up all night worrying about what to do next,” Ryan answered. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m exhausted. I say we get some sleep and try to get a new perspective on things in the morning.”
I didn’t argue because I was tired as well, especially after being put under hypnosis, and Simon and Marie didn’t disagree either. We silently got ready for bed although there was brief argument about who would take the bedroom. I insisted that Marie take it since she had more of a claim on this apartment than any of us, but she refused, insisting that she found the couch more comfortable. It was finally agreed upon that Simon and I would take the bedroom while Marie would take the couch and Ryan would sleep on the floor.
“How are you feeling?” Simon asked softly when we had finally settled into bed. Despite the darkness, I could feel his gaze on me.
“Tired. Confused. Ready for something to happen,” I replied. “I’m tired of waiting for my father to attack. I’m tired of being on the defensive.”
“I know, but you’re not just waiting around for things to happen. You put your life at risk by going under hypnosis today. I would say that’s pretty proactive.”
I couldn’t help giving a small bitter laugh. “That’s not worth much considering how I failed Jenny. I thought I was getting so strong. That I could defeat any vardoger. And then when it mattered the most, I failed.”
Simon pulled me towards him, cradling me close. I buried my face in his neck, wanting to blot out the image of Jenny’s cold gray lips and lifeless body as she lay next to the pool. I tried to replace it with the memory of what she had looked like alive; laughing green eyes and an infectious smile. I remembered the first time we had met. Sarah had introduced us and despite my shyness, I had felt an immediate connection to her as she hugged me enthusiastically despite us being strangers. Even though she hadn’t known my secrets, she had accepted me despite what must have seemed like my quirks and eccentricities. It was so unfair that her life had been so easily taken away. The thought of her life that would never be realized, the thought that she would never graduate college, have a first job, or get married and have children, was too cruel. I felt a wetness on Simon’s neck, not realizing until I pulled back that it was my own tears.
“It’s not your fault,” Simon whispered as he wiped the tears from my cheeks. His eyes glinted in the dim moonlight streaming through the window. “I don’t know what the hell happened when we tried to pull her out. One moment I had my hand around her arm, the next moment I was being shot back like I was electrocuted.” His jaw tensed. “I don’t understand it. I should have been able to save her. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine, not yours.”
He looked down at me and I could see in his eyes that he really believed it was his fault. I reached up and gently caressed his jaw, realizing that I wasn’t the only one in pain.
“It wasn’t your fault. You tried to save her.” I took a deep shuddering breath. “Let’s not waste time blaming ourselves. The real person responsible is my father. I know he’s connected somehow. He’s going to pay.”
Simon gently cupped my cheek with his hand. “We’ll make sure he gets what he deserves. But don’t lose yourself in all the hate. You’re more than just a device to get revenge on your father. You have your life ahead of you as well. Don’t forget that. Don’t do anything that risks your future.”
I knew Simon was telling me not to be reckless and put myself in jeopardy, but I was the last person I was worried about. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I wanted to get out of my
