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“Clara?” I said, happy to hear her voice on the other end of the phone.
“What do you want, John? And who gave you my number?” she asked.
“I know you don’t think I can get your address, but I can’t get your number,” I said on a laugh. “How I got the number is not important. What’s important is me hearing your voice before I go to sleep tonight.”
“Well, you need to go and hear your wife’s voice.”
“It’s you that I want to talk to,” I said.
“Listen, just because I gave you a hot meal and a few laughs doesn’t mean you can start ringing my phone every time I turn around and you’re definitely not allowed to pop up like you did this morning.”
“That’s what I was calling for. I want to know when I can see you again.”
“Oh, let’s see. How about when we enter the pearly gates of Heaven?”
“I’m serious, Joanie, I want to see you again.”
“Stop calling me that stupid name. You lost the right to call me anything other than Ms. Clara Baker a long time ago.”
“Come on, Clara, I know you don’t want me to leave you alone any more than I want to.”
There was silence for a short while. “I just don’t see no sense in us unearthing old passions and hurts. Sometimes, it’s just best to let sleeping dogs lie, John.”
“Just see me one more time,” I said, knowing full well I had no intention to ever let up.
“We don’t have a reason to see each other again. I want you to go back to living your life like you were before that dinner and I will do the same.”
“I can’t do that.”
“John, you don’t have a choice this time around. You made your choice in nineteen seventy two and I’m going to make sure you continue to live by it.”
“Nineteen seventy two. That was so many moons ago,” I said as I blew out a deep breath. “I was young and very impressionable.”
“Yes, you were,” Clara agreed.
“I loved my grandfather a lot and I always respected what he worked for.”
“What he built was admirable,” she agreed again.
“I felt obligated to run our family’s business, and my father was adamant I couldn’t run the business with a black woman on my arm,” I admitted.
“So you chose what was important and that was to run your family business. And from what I’ve read in the papers over the years, you have done well by that business. Why is it that you feel the need to come back in my life now, when our fate was sealed by your choice? ”
“Knowing what I know now, I would never have chosen Turner Enterprises over you,” I said, feeling the pain as the words left my lips. “However, I won’t take all the blame. You could have told me you were pregnant.”
“Well, John, life is all about choices. You chose your family business and I chose not to tell you about the baby growing inside of me. You fulfilled your obligations and I dealt with the consequences of our love affair alone. We both persevered through the challenges we faced and we both ended up here, separate. We made and lived with our choices, so I see no reason to change things up.”
“We can chose a different path, now that we know better.”
“Since you don’t seem to be understanding the words coming out my mouth, let me tell you one thing!” she began yelling, before I cut her off.
“Oh, Clara, do you have to talk to me so rough? Where is the sweet, young girl I met at Wellmington? I know she’s in there. Let me have her back.”
“That sweet little girl is sixty five years old now! You act like you don’t know how many years have gone by.”
“I do know, I just… I don’t know,” I digressed.
“I have come terms with the fact that I will grow old alone. I even picked out the perfect rocker for me to sit on my front porch and crochet. I’m going to buy me a cute, little kitten and hang out all day with my animals, yarn patterns, and grandkids. What will not happen is you coming into my golden years and trying to make me a side piece.”
