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I rushed into the restaurant. I was running fifteen minutes behind to meet up with Sharon at Moss Tavern, yet again. When I reached our table, I collapsed into the booth.
“Sorry, I’m late,” I said.
She shrugged. “No worries here. I always plan for you to run a little behind. Are you alright though?” she asked, as worry lines began to crease her otherwis
e cute, oval face. She had her hair pulled up into a ponytail, and wore very little makeup, so her concern shined bright.
“I’m fine, just stressed out from work, and a few other things.” I waved over a waiter and ordered a beer, then heaved a sigh. It’d been a rough week and I looked forward to having some girl time. “How are you doing?” I asked her.
The waiter passed me off a beer and I took a drink.
“I’m doing well. Work has been a bitch, but really hanging in there. Are you sure you’re fine? You’re looking a bit stressed, Kemara.”
I laughed. “Well, you could say that.” I paused, wondering how much I wanted to divulge to my friend. I had told her a lot about Channing already, and she was well aware that his father and brother didn’t approve of us being together. When I talked to her last, I told her I was going to have the talk with his mom. I didn’t tell her what happened at that meeting, so I shared that.
“I just don’t get what his father has against black people. I did nothing to him,” I argued.
She smiled politely. “Girl, this isn’t about you. You know that. It’s about black people in general. He’s one of the old fashion, stick up the ass hateful people and there’s nothing you can do to or for him that will change his mind.”
I nodded, grabbing the menu and looking it over. When the waiter came back, I was ready to place an order, then we got back to the conversation.
“His mom is great. She seemed supportive and probably wouldn’t be any problem for us. When his father and brother came in, all hell broke loose again. He’s willing to lose his son over him dating me, and I don’t want Channing to have to choose me over his own parents. I will feel like shit having to live with that.”
“Whoa…this is deep.” Sharon mumbled. “How does Channing feel about walking away from his family? What has he said to you?” she asked.
“Well, he said he’ll choose me every time, and I believe him, but can I in good conscious really allow him to make that decision?” I shook my head. “No, I can’t. You know how strongly I feel about family. Sometimes, I think Channing fighting them over their beliefs is just not really worth it.”
My friend heaved a sigh and tilted her head. “Um…so are you saying that you’d be alright with letting him go and that you would encourage him to pick up his white hood and carry on?” she asked.
I knew that answer too well.
No.
I didn’t want Channing out of my life. And, if he was the one saying we should weather the storm ahead, who was I to argue?
“Sharon, I don’t want to let him go, and it’s not like their saints, but it’s his family. I’m willing to be the bigger woman and step aside so he can keep his relationship with them,” I said.
She smiled. “Yes, it is his family. He knows that, and he’s choosing you. That means a hell of a lot, don’t ya think? Who knows, maybe he knows that you’re meant to be his future family.”
Warm tingles went up and down my spine, remembering Channing and me together smiling, gazing into each other’s eyes and fusing as one. “I suppose you’re right. It means everything to me that he chose me. I care a lot about him.”
“Girl, face it. You’re so in love with him that it would take me months of sister-girl talks, dinners and Netflix nights to help you get over losing him. So, don’t talk yourself out of your blessing. Channing’s family is hateful to their root. His leaving them behind may be so much bigger than you and him together. It could be his evolution into being his own man…a good man that helps fix the world we live in, instead of breaking it.”
“I thought about that, and I know you’re right. Even Channing said I make him a better man. I just hate to be the catalyst for him leaving his family behind.”
“What had to be done…had to be done, Kemara. Now, let’s eat,” Sharon said as the waiter reappeared at our table with our food.
We ate while we continued to talk and Sharon had me feeling better about things long before I left the Tavern. I couldn’t wait to see Channing and embrace the fact that he was choosing me, no matter how wrong I wanted to make it seem.
***
I left Moss Tavern and headed towards Channing’s place. I needed to see him, express how much I truly loved him for being there for me, and tell him I wasn’t going to let the stress get to me. We were together and nothing else mattered. However, when I arrived at his apartment, he wasn’t there.
“Dammit,” I mumbled and fished the phone out of my purse to text him.
Me: Baby, I’m at your place and I need to see you. Where are you?
I waited twenty minutes for a return text, but he didn’t reply. I got discouraged after sitting around another ten minutes and figured he wasn’t coming home. It was starting to get dark outside, so I decided to drive the hour back home. I would try to see him the next night.
