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Part 1
The Dance
Prologue
Tameka
Melodic music played as I watched my two kids, Kevin and Eva, as they talked with other kids attending Kemara and Channing’s wedding. It was still hard to believe my sister was married, and to a man I never dreamed I would get along with. However, Channing was good for her. He stood up to his family’s racism, and I couldn’t deny that the love they shared was beautiful to watch.
I also couldn’t deny the fact that I was jealous of that love. On the one hand, I just wanted to be happy for them, but on the other, my world was falling apart. The sadness inside of me bubbled to the surface in my uncertainty that I would ever find the kind of love that set me afire. The kind worth risking it all for. Not after what I experienced with my ex.
When I was married to my children’s father, Rodney, our love had dwindled down to pure hatred for one another. The only good thing that came from our marriage was the two kids I had my eyes on. I was so wrapped up in watching them that I didn’t hear the DJ making his announcement for the catchers of the garter belt and bouquet to come to the dance floor until I heard the music changing and a man clear his throat.
“I believe that’s our cue,” the man’s voice rasped beside my ear, and I turned around to see Jeb Holloway, Channing’s first cousin, and best man.
“Oh, right. We’re supposed to dance,” I mumbled.
A knot tightened in my stomach as I stood up and looked at Jeb’s outstretched hand. I didn’t want to dance with the stranger, and that wasn’t even half of it. Jeb was a handsome man. Scratch that. He was tall, rugged, built country boy solid, and I would go as far as to say he was sexy as hell. His smile had the power to melt a woman’s heart, but it surprised the heck out of me when it was my heart that started melting a little.
By now, I was supposed to be immune to all handsome men. I’d given Kemara hell for falling for a man who had a racist family. Yet, as I looked into Jeb’s eyes, I quickly cast aside all thoughts of him being Channing’s family member. I couldn’t overcome the fact that I was still a woman with warm blood pumping through my veins, and he looked good.
Earlier in the evening, I caught the bouquet, and Jeb caught the garter. Now, we were supposed to dance with each other, which was the very reason I felt awkward as we stood there looking into each other’s eyes. I finally took his outstretched hand and allowed him to lead me to the dance floor, where the rest of the wedding party was already dancing.
When he pulled me into his arms and held me close, I kept telling myself this was a dance between two people forced to dance together for tradition’s sake. The way my body melted into his and ebbed with his flow was the part I couldn’t explain.
Rumor had it, Jeb liked to play the field, and he liked to play a lot of women at once. Therefore, the interest I saw in his eyes moments earlier was likely born out of a thirst to conquer his next woman, not a genuine interest in me. Since conquering me wasn’t happening, I decided on fulfilling my bouquet catcher duties and hoping this song would end soon.
“Today has been a beautiful day, hasn’t it?” he asked as his ocean blue eyes sparkled and almost made me forget everything I’d heard about him. God had a sense of humor when he created men so gorgeous and appealing only for them to be cheating dogs that no woman could trust.
Swallowing a massive lump in my throat, I nodded. “It really has been a lovely day. I’m so happy for Kemara,” I admitted. Seeing the tears roll down my sister’s face as she committed herself to the love of her life had been the highlight of my day, and that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Well, perhaps a man of my own, but still…
“Awesome day,” I added. “If only every day could be like this.”
Was that lame? I kind of feel that was lame, I thought as I wondered if this song would ever end so I could get away from this hunk of a man who could definitely become a new distraction. I didn’t need any new distractions. My ex-husband’s full-scale Lifetime drama and suspense were enough to keep me busy for the rest of my life.
Jeb seemed to have something else in mind as he stared into my eyes, almost to the point of obsession. The scrutiny from his blue eyes only served to heighten the nervous feeling I had while inside his arms.
“When you’re with the right person, every day can be like this,” Jeb said, holding me closer and swaying us both side to side to the beat of the music.
“I guess you’re right,” I said.
“Did you see the looks on Channing and Kemara’s faces when they ditched the reception? They were pretty stoked.” He smiled, and I smirked as I thought about the sneaky look my sister had when she and Channing thought they slipped out without being noticed.
“Yeah, I would say they were far too excited about leaving. We know what they’re up to,” I said as the smell of Jeb’s cologne tickled my senses, his smile softened my disposition, and I found myself doing something I said I would never do—let my guard down.
“You have beautiful eyes, Tameka,” he said and smiled. “I’m sure everyone tells you that.”
Heat rose to my cheeks as he peered into my eyes. I had questions running through my mind such as, ‘Why did he say that? Why was he looking at me so dreamily? Why was I hanging on to every word?’ His touch, his stares, his words, the way my mind and body responded to this man were all forbidden things.
“Um…thank you,” I said a couple pitches higher than I would’ve liked. “No, everyone doesn’t tell me that,” I said, making a conscious effort to take the gushiness out of my voice and remove the emotions I was feeling at the moment out of my life for good.
My knees were a bit wobbly from his charming remarks and the way he looked at me. I would turn to mush if we kept exchanging souls through our orbs, so I had to look away. Weddings have a way of making people believe in the mythical feel of love and romance. That had to be the reason Jeb’s nearness made my heart sing a new tune and heat pool in places that were prohibited to be aroused by him.
A former member of the white nationalist brotherhood had me in his arms, making me feel ways I vowed never to feel again. That, in itself, was a no-go. I didn’t know Jeb but knew enough to
know his past was checkered with an affiliation to a local white supremacy group. While Kemara had told me Jeb had mustered the courage to leave the group after Channing left, it was indisputable that they both had been a part of it. I forgave Channing after I got to know and trust him, but Jeb was not Channing. He was a womanizer out here in these Alabama streets, and I picked up on that much by watching him work the women at the reception before I caught the bouquet.
Men and their games were a very staunch reminder of why I didn’t need a man in my life, and why my kids were more than enough. Jeb’s nearness caused my emotions to stir, so I had to get away from him. I took two steps back, and a wrinkle appeared at the top of his forehead. Even that wrinkle was gorgeous enough to lick. Jesus, the unwanted thoughts he elicited from me were pure sin.
With the music still playing, I cut the dance short.
“I— I need to check on my kids. I have to go,” I said abruptly.
It was a weak excuse indeed, but I was halfway across the room by the time he looked as if he wanted to argue that point. I scurried off the dance floor straight for the exit door.
Mom stopped me before I set foot out of the reception hall. She was looking beautiful in her silver Mother-of-the-Bride gown while one of her daughters was having the best night of her life, and me…well, I was unraveling from the center.
“Where are you going, Tameka? Are you leaving?” she asked with a look of confusion contorting her expertly made-up brown face.
At a loss for words, I smiled. “No, I’m stepping outside for a moment. I need some fresh air, but I’ll be right back in. Have you seen the kids lately?” I asked in attempt to divert her attention from my escape.
She pointed to the table Eva and Kevin were sitting at before I started dancing with Jeb. She reached out and touched my arm. “Is everything alright, baby? You look like you don’t feel well,” Mom asked.
“Everything’s fine, Mom,” I said, nodding. “Just fine.”
She tilted her head and gave me one of those looks every mom gives when they know their child is lying. “Are you sure you’re fine? You would tell me if you weren’t,” she asked.
“Everything’s great.” I smiled a little brighter, then walked past her heading outside.
When I made it out the door, I took a deep breath as a gentle wind washed over me. A thousand stars lit up the majestic night sky. It was a beautiful night to fall in love, but love would have to steal me away because I wasn’t looking for it, and I would never willingly fall subject to it again.
***
Jeb
I felt the loss after she left my arms. I stepped off the dance floor dazed and confused as to the reason Tameka ran off so quickly, leaving only her sweet essence in the air. I thought everything was going fine until she suddenly said she needed to check on her kids. Ironically, she bypassed them and headed towards the exit doors, making me wonder why she made such a lame excuse to get away from me.
