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“No more phone calls will interrupt my peace,” I assured myself aloud. This impromptu trip was completely out of character for me, but I threw caution to the wind. In my heart, I was craving the peace and tranquility of the ocean front. Married life sure wasn’t the white picket fence, dinner and a movie life I had envisioned that James and I would have, but so is life. All I knew for sure was that right now, a few relaxing days away from it all was sounding better by the minute. I turned up the volume on the radio, erased all traces of home from my mind, and pushed forward through the traffic.
Chapter 9
Shayla
Kicking off my shoes, I glanced at the gold Chanel set half-carat diamond toe ring that accentuated my freshly manicured toes. As it shimmered under the dimmed recessed lighting, the milieu that surrounded me was so breathtaking that I couldn’t help but admire all of my lavish amenities. I was one lucky woman to have everything I could ever ask for and more. I bowed my head and thanked God for all of the blessings I had received over the years. Our home overlooking Lake Nesto was in one of the most prominent neighborhoods both in and outside the city limits. Titus and I had equipped it with the finer things of life. Glancing at the clock, I was discouraged to find that it was 10:25 PM.
"I’m so glad I didn't change into my swimming suit. Then, I'd be sitting here looking like an even bigger fool than I do already," I said to the empty room, as I wallowed in my sorrows while still sitting on the couch.
Usually, I did not question Titus’ whereabouts, because I didn’t want to have to accept his lies. Sometimes no news was better than tainted news. Then again, as finicky as he could be, he’d probably have the nerve to be mad at me if I called him on his bull. It was messed up that he would be the one missing from home for a week and have the nerve to get mad if I asked where he had been.
He’d never do anything but fuss, but by the time he got finished fussing and cussing I would feel like he had put his hands all over me. I knew for a fact that he was not above cheating. I’d caught him a time or two back when I was checking for him. It was then that he let me know with the quickness that he did not appreciate me snooping around in his business.
The phone rang, breaking the silence in the room. It was Titus. I quickly pressed END on his call, silenced the ringer, and deleted his number from the caller ID. It was his time to sweat for a little while, just like I had done all day long. A minute after the phone rang, the voicemail light lit up indicating that he had left a message. I got physically sick to my stomach knowing that he was ready to feed me lies, and I like the fool that I was, I would undoubtedly eat them with a smile.
I allowed my mind to drift to another place that I’d rather be – in love. I imagined what it would be like to be married to one of those businessmen who came home every evening, reached down to pet the dog, and kissed the kids on the forehead goodnight. I wondered what it would feel like to have a man who was attentive to his wife’s needs, wants and desires. I was so starved for attention that I could actually see myself falling in love with a man who thought finding a difficult word in a cross word puzzle was the highlight of the day. If that meant he was going to be home to whisper sweet nothings in my ear at the end of the night, I was all for it. That scenario was so foreign to me that it sounded like nothing but far-fetched fantasy fairytales. Did anyone really live lives like that besides the white women you see carting Little Timmy and Little Tommy off to baseball practice in their mini-vans?
I had just drifted off to sleep dreaming about my very own loving businessman when the front door inched slowly ajar. I slightly cracked my eyes open to see my husband tiptoeing toward me with a dozen roses. Assuming I was asleep, he looked down at me on the couch and smiled. For a second or two, I could see a glimpse of regret slide across his face. That was definitely a new look for him.
My auburn-colored hair was disheveled across my face, covering full view of my eyes, so Titus could not tell that I was watching his every move. He eased down onto one knee and gently pushed several strands of hair away from my face and neck, exposing my honey toned skin. He’d once told me that I was his ‘Black Barbie’, and as I lay on the couch admiring my husband admire me I thought about that nickname. At that very moment, he had the same look of affection in his eyes that he had when he first called me that. I didn’t so much as make one tiny movement, afraid that I would break the trance and ruin the tender moment. I didn’t want to give away the fact that I was in a fake slumber.
As his eyes roamed over my body, he whispered, “Baby, you know you look like a goddess in your sleep. Mmmm, and that silk pajama set is absolutely beautiful.” He retrieved a single rose from the dozen that he had sat on the coffee table and dangled the sweet flower near my face, gently tickling my nose. When that did not rouse me, he finally decided to gently shake my shoulder. “Shayla? Wake up, babe.”
I had heard him come in, smelled the roses, felt his nudge, and heard him call out to me, but I decided to make him sweat for a littl
e while longer. If it was possible to be completely irritated and irreversibly in love with a person at the very same time, then that would explain exactly how I felt.
“I’m sorry, babe,” his bold voice spoke louder. “Please, wake up. The night is still young,” He knelt down and kissed my cheek, lightly rubbing his fingers over my lips. The night is still young? Was that the best he could come up with? Typical. He’s so selfish, I thought. A few more pleas, and I was going to tell him about himself.
“Shayla. Come on, babe. I know you’re up. You are not that good at faking like you’re asleep. Daddy is sorry Mama,” Titus said, and I could tell he was speaking in the most humble voice he knew how. I pretended to stir, rubbing my eyes for added effect. Once my eyes focused on him, I looked over to the clock and pointed at the time. It was 10:45 PM.
“It’s real cute and stuff that you’re strolling in here with roses and all, but it would have been even more cute if you had done it four hours ago.” I slowly sat up on the couch and stretched my arms to the sky as I took a nice long yawn.
He had the nerve to look surprised. He quickly retrieved the other roses from the coffee table and held them out to me as a set.
“Shayla, baby, I am so sorry for missing out on the dinner you prepared for me.” When he realized that I was not going to accept the roses, he placed them back on the coffee table and put his hand on my chin to raise my eyes to meet his.
I forced my face to turn away from him, despite his insistence. “And I know what’s up with you and Rhonda. Don’t even deny it.”
“What?” His face dropped, his jaw hanging open.
“Do you think I’m really that dense, Titus?” I shouted.
“I… Baby… I…” He stuttered, stuck on stupid.
“I know exactly what ya’ll did, trying to concoct some stupid story about you going to Atlanta, just to make me feel better.” I eyed him suspiciously.
“… Wait. Atlanta?” He looked totally confused now.
“Yeah, she told me your little lie about going to Atlanta to get me a present. Now all you come home with are these roses?! You mean to tell me it took you four hours and a drive to Atlanta to get me roses? I know Rhonda only wants for me not to be upset, but that’s the dumbest excuse I have ever heard in my life, Titus!” My nostrils flared as I waited for his explanation.
He paused, thinking, and then I could have sworn that I saw a slight smile cross his lips. He wiped his forehead and leaned in, “Shayla, baby… you’ve got to let me make this up to you.”
“It’s not funny! I don’t know why you’re smiling. How, Titus? How are you going to make it up to me? Do you think a new ring will work? Do you think you can just buy my happiness like I’m a high-priced prostitute? What do you want from me? If you don’t love me, then why won’t you just let me go?” I didn’t quite plan on this line of questioning, but since the issues were on the table, I stared him straight in his eyes and waited on his answer.
“Listen, Shayla, I can tell that you’re upset, as you should be. You are the most important person in my life, and I was wrong for standing you up tonight. Trust me; I know that. I’m sorry, and it will not happen again. But you are going overboard to even think that I don’t love you. I love you with everything I have in me, babygirl. Believe that.” He then pressed his lips against mine and kissed me. Every two seconds, Titus paused his lip lock long enough to tell me how sorry he was. When he finally broke the kiss, he continued to explain himself. “I had an issue come up with one of my suppliers tonight. I had to set them straight, but from now on, you come first, Shayla.”
I hated the effect that his touch had on me, even when everything in me knew I should stay angry. At this point, I couldn’t tell if it was all a bunch of bullshit lies again, or if he sincerely was just caught up tonight and was sincere about being sorry for missing our time to bond. Either way, he had to have been sampling his own goods if he thought coming in here with a simple explanation would suffice. I wanted to believe him. I really did, but I knew better from experience. I knew that if I fell for the okie-doke again, this same scenario would play itself over and over until I finally wised up.
