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It didn’t go unnoticed that Lorraine had packed a celebratory dinner full of carnal delights meant to seduce. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. She smiled, thinking of the kiss they’d shared earlier. The way she’d melted into his arms. With him, she felt safe and loved. Two things she’d never known before. Two things she shouldn’t count on in the future. Because if life had taught her anything, it’s that she was unlovable and useless.
“Hey.” His fingers on her chin drew her attention to the concentrated look on his face. “What’s with the expression?”
Clearing any emotion from her face, she lied, “Nothing,” with the fake smile she’d grown used to.
He seemed doubtful as he watched her but didn’t push, for which she was grateful. She had so many issues, she wasn’t even sure being on this date with him was a good idea.
They sat quietly eating, both lost in their own thoughts. Sophia wanted to fight every last one of her instincts to have a real, solid relationship with Lennox. She wanted to let go of the pain from her past. Her mother’s words of discouragement and berating kept ringing in her ears, though.
A warm palm on her arm pulled her away from the painful words. “Calm down, Soph,” he encouraged, his thumb rubbing circles on the inside of her elbow.
Twisting to face him, her skirt rode up her thigh an inch and his eyes flamed with want. “I don’t know how to do this,” she confessed, playing with the hem of her dress.
“I figured as much, darlin’,” he said with a smile. No judgment, which amazed her. She was so used to everyone passing their own assessments around about her. Telling her when she was doing everything wrong, which was often.
“Oh,” she murmured softly. Needing to get her head out of the negative space that seemed to consume her, she asked him, “How is Lorraine?” She had so much respect and love for the other woman, her attitude towards life was refreshing in a way she, herself, had never taken the time to discover.
“Ma’s good.” He smiled. “She was going to call you yesterday. Something about bridge, or cards, or something.”
She had called. Sophia hadn’t answered. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind for speaking to her. She knew Lorraine would have picked up on what she was feeling. She would have drilled her on it, too.
“I, uh, missed her call.” She looked away upon answering him.
“Such a contradiction,” he told her. Eyes shooting to his, she didn’t have to ask what he meant before he answered. “You’re all sweet and soft one minute.” His fingers brushed along her cheek. “Then secrets and mystery the next. I never know what to expect with you.”
Her face leaned into his palm at his words. “I’m sorry.” She was. She didn’t want to have secrets or tell him lies. The problem was, she didn’t know what she wanted or even how to obtain it when she did.
“Don’t need to be sorry, sweetheart. When you’re ready, you’ll tell me about the haunting I see in your eyes. You’ll tell me what your dreams are.”
“And if you get tired of waiting?” Sucking her bottom lip between her teeth, she waited with baited breath.
“I’ll never tire, Sophia. I will be here.” How could he know?
“You barely know me.”
“I know enough.”
How could she trust that? Everyone she should have been able to trust in her life had always let her down. It was never a matter of if, simply the question of when.
The look in his eyes showed her so much. Everything he felt, everything he wanted to feel. She quickly realized that while she was protecting her own heart, he was trying to protect his as well. Only he knew what love was, what it meant to get it, and he was attempting to make her see and understand, too.
“I want to–” she started to say when he interrupted.
“Then that’s enough. If you want this, us, then I will fight enough for both of us. You just have to want it.”
Wanting something for herself was such a foreign feeling. “The last time I wanted something I was six,” Sophia told him, remembering Christmas that year and the one present she wanted. Only to have it taken from her in the blink of an eye.
“What was it?”
“It’s silly,” she replied, heat engulfing her cheeks as she thought about the toy now.
“Not if it was important to you.” He made her believe that.
“There was this American Girl Doll, Kailey, she was new and so popular. I used to collect them. Well, I wanted one for Christmas that year.” She smiled remembering the anticipation. “Daddy bought one for me.” Her smile was genuine as she thought of his happiness that day, too. Until her mother. Always her mother.
“What happened?” Lennox asked her, sensing something went wrong.
Her smile faded. “My mother was so drunk already. Or maybe it was still from the night before. I have no idea. I didn’t even get
