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Having been assured that his mother would come and sit with Sage for a few hours and bring her soon-to-be daughters-in-law if they were free, he’d left with much reluctance. It was the first time Sage had been truly alone since the whole ordeal began, and she wasn’t sure what to do with herself.
Kirsten had come in and shown her how to work the television, a luxury Sage and her siblings hadn’t been given in many years, and she was occupied for a while, at least.
It was when the hospital drew quiet and the tv programs became boring that she was overwhelmed with her doubts and fears. If she were doing the right thing by leaving home? Would God forgive her for choosing her own path?
Sage knew in her mind that all this change was right for her, but her heart was terrified of being rejected by not only her Lord but Lochlan, as well.
He was older, far more experienced in the ways of the world, and she was just some dumb sheltered girl. Sage knew nothing of being a member of society. What was expected of her, where she would go. It was all still so new.
“Knock, knock,” a soft voice called from the door.
Her panic fleeting, she saw Lochlan’s mother entering the room. “Good morning, Mrs. Hogan.” She put on a bright smile for the older woman to hide her nerves.
“Oh, hush with that nonsense. You call me Lorraine, child.” This time her grin was genuine. There wasn’t a single thing not to love about the caring woman. “How are you feeling? Lochlan has called me about thirty times in the last ten minutes to check on you, and boy, was he aggravated when I told him I hadn’t gotten here yet.” She was amused about her son’s impatience.
“I’m alright. It’s so quiet here, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with myself.” Fidgeting with her blanket seemed to be the only thing to do.
“I can’t even imagine.” Lorraine’s warm hand on her own helped ease her anxiety. “Tell me, young Sage, you’re eighteen now and can do anything you want, what is it?”
Sage searched the woman’s gaze for sincerity, for real interest. Still too terrified to completely trust another person. “You’re going to think it’s silly.”
“Try me, sweetheart.”
“I’ve only ever wanted one thing.” She ducked her head in shyness. “Well, two, I suppose.”
Leaning into her, Lorraine whispered, “Don’t keep me in suspense.”
After a fortifying breath, she confessed. “To be a wife and a mother. From as far back as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to fall in love. To be with a man that can take care of me while I take care of him. Someone who can understand my desire to be the one thing the Lord put women on this earth for. I want to bear him children. I want to love him so fiercely it aches.” She could physically feel what she was describing in her heart.
“Oh, Sage.” Lorraine’s delighted sigh had her looking up. “That is not the only thing women were put on this earth for, you understand.”
“I know that. Women are fierce creatures. We are loyal, and we can do more than most men. But I want to be the woman a man brags to his friends about for being…his. Solely and completely devoted to him.” It was extremely hard to explain this yearning inside her for how she wanted her life to be.
“For someone so young, you are quite wise and in touch with your feelings.” Lorraine’s praise felt so good. “Can I ask you something?” Nodding, Lorraine proceeded. “Is this what you want with my Lochlan?”
Afraid to say yes, to voice her deepest desire, Sage shrugged her shoulders non-committedly.
“Because if it is my son you want, I think you’d be perfect. Lochlan is such a complex man, and yet, so incredibly simple. He’s never needed much to be content with life, but over the past year, I’ve watched him become completely enthralled with starting a new chapter, moving forward. Towards a real life. Not just living.”
“He does?” Maybe she understood far more than Sage gave her credit for.
“Yes. Of all my boys, he has always been the most centered. None of them ever had any wild oats to sow… Well, Levi was lost for a little bit, but Hayes found him. They’ve all been level-headed, known exactly what they wanted and didn’t let anything stop them from getting it.”
Unsure of what to say, Sage remained quiet. Her hope for a future with Lochlan was waiting to blossom, but she didn’t want to be let down.
“Tell me what’s scaring you, Sage.” Her gaze shot up to the inquisitive woman at the question. “Young lady, I have three boys that are much harder to read than women. You’re easy compared to them.”
“Have you ever wanted something so desperately that once it’s within your reach, you’re terrified it’ll be ripped away as soon as you touch it?”
A perceptive look reflects back at Sage as Lorraine ponders her question. “You’re afraid to trust again. That’s not uncommon after an experience as terrifying as what you’ve been through. And you don’t need to hand your trust over immediately. You need to have faith in yourself to make the right decisions. It’s up to Lochlan to earn it from you in your own time, not his.” Lorraine paused to grip both of Sage’s hands in her warm wrinkled ones. “When you’re ready to share with Lochlan everything you’ve told me, a sense of calm and complete peace will warm you from the inside out and not a second before you’re ready.”
Relaxed, a lump in her throat made it hard to speak. “Thank you, Lorraine. I’m truly blessed to have gotten to know you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Sage. If you ever need to talk or need a hu
g, anything at all, I’m here. I have a feeling Sophia and Hayes will be just as pleased to lend an ear or a shoulder, so please don’t be afraid to reach out to us.”
Too choked up to say anything, Sage nodded her head in gratitude, knowing the woman would understand how much her words meant to her.
