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'It was an accident,' Edith said. 'We were arguing, but I was just trying to get away from him. I twisted loose and ran into something.'
'A wall,' Severin muttered.
'Coffee?' Utch asked everyone.
'I don't want to stay that long,' Edith said to Severin, but she sat down at the kitchen table. 'We want to stop it,' she told the sugar bowl.
'Well, I want to stop it,' Severin said. 'It's not good for Edith and me.' Utch and I said nothing. 'I'm sorry,' Severin said, 'but it just isn't working out. I told you I've felt - well, pressured - to keep going on with it. It's not a pressure that Edith or either of you has put on me; it's all my own doing. I simply felt compelled to make something work which I never felt quite good about. I felt I owed it to Edith. But she really didn't make me feel that.'
'Yes, she did,' Utch said. I was surprised. Edith sat, her lips together.
'No, she really didn't,' Severin said quietly. 'It was just me. I thought it would seem more natural as it went on, but it hasn't. I thought that things between Edith and me would get better, but they haven't.'
'What things?' I asked. 'What things were wrong before this started?'
'This whole business made things between us worse,' Severin said. Edith still said nothing. 'It made me feel badly with Edith - it made me feel badly about her. I got to thinking that the only times I was behaving well were when I was with Utch. I haven't behaved very well with Edith, and I don't like to behave as I have. I'm v
ery embarrassed about it.'
'Nothing's your fault,' Utch told him. 'Nothing is anybody's fault.'
'I did hit Edith,' Severin said, 'and I've never done that before. I feel terrible about that. Before this whole thing began, I would never have lost that much control.'
'That's my fault, too,' Edith said. 'He had to hit me.'
'But I shouldn't have.'
'Maybe you should have,' Utch said. What in hell was she saying, anyway!
'Anyway,' Severin said, 'it's over. That's the best thing.'
'Just like that?' I said.
'Yes, just like that,' Edith said, looking directly at me. 'That is the best thing.'
'May I talk to Edith alone?' I asked Severin.
'Ask Edith.'
'Later,' Edith told me. And again I felt that the more we knew each other, the less we actually knew. 'I want to talk to Utch now,' Edith said.
'Ja, get out,' Utch said to us. 'Go sit outside, go take a trip around the block.'
'Go to a movie,' Edith suggested. 'A double feature,' she added. Severin stared at his hands.
Then Utch screamed some German at Severin; he mumbled, 'Es tut mir leid.' But Utch went on and on. I took Severin's arm and made him stand up while Edith steered Utch toward our bedroom. After a while, we heard both of them crying in there. The language they were speaking was stranger than English or German.
Severin went and stood outside our bedroom door. 'Utch?' he called. 'It's better not to see each other for a while. Then it gets a lot easier.'
It was Edith who opened the door. 'Forget what you're thinking,' she snapped at him. 'I wish you'd stop trying to make this like the Ullmans. It's not the same.' She slammed the door.
'Who are the Ullmans?' I asked Severin, but he pushed past me and went outside.
'I have to go to the wrestling room,' he told me. 'I don't suppose you want to come along.' It didn't sound like an invitation. I was struck that at least Edith and Utch could talk to each other.
'Who were the fucking Ullmans?' I yelled at him.
'The fucking who?' he asked.
