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She studied her feet and wrung the handkerchief in her fingers, still not answering.
The ugly question hopped from his mouth. “Do you not return my love?”
She paused and took a long breath before meeting his gaze. “Samuel, please.” The look in her bottomless eyes killed his last hope. “I care for you a great deal, you know that.” Moving closer, Eliza reached up to stroke the lapel of his jacket. “I cannot accept. Not right away.”
Her words stung the same as if she’d slapped him across the face. He rubbed his jaw. She couldn’t be serious.
Eliza put the handkerchief to her mouth for a brief moment. “It’s too soon after Father’s death. I’m sorry, Samuel.” She covered his hand and circled it with her thumb, but the tender motion did nothing to soothe his wounded pride.
“I don’t understand.” Samuel grabbed her by the shoulders again. “You can’t tell me no, Eliza. We are meant to be together.”
When she made no reply he did the only thing he could think of. He leaned forward and before she could move away, he pulled her body against his, capturing her mouth with his own. Her warm, soft lips sent liquid passion through his veins. Her gentle curves intoxicated him, and when she didn’t pull away he strengthened the kiss until her slight arms wound around his neck. So she did love him!
He could have kissed her until the sun set and rose again the next day, but that would have to wait. Samuel lifted his head as masculine pride welled through him. She couldn’t kiss him like that and not love him. “Say you’ll marry me, Eliza. I need to hear you say it.”
She put her hand to her mouth as her eyes darted back and forth between his. “Samuel.” Her voice quivered. “I know . . . I know it seems like the right time for marriage, but for me, it is not.”
He blinked. She couldn’t be serious. But she was.
Her eyes found his and the struggle in her lovely face nailed his boots to the ground. “Father has just now been buried and I am overwhelmed with grief. I cannot accept—not right now.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “Forgive me, Samuel. I know you’ll understand. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Samuel tried to hide a bitter laugh. He’d never been more hurt in his life. He ground his palm into the handle of his sword. What a fool he’d been. How could he have imagined she would accept a proposal now? Of course she needed more time.
They remained silent as he gathered his tho
ughts and tried to suppress the whirlwind of emotions coursing through him.
“I understand.” He brushed her cheek and leaned toward her again. “There’s no one in this world for me but you. I would wait forever.”
Samuel pulled Eliza against him, the touch of her body fogging his brain like wine. He needed one more kiss, just one more. He moved his lips across hers, over her cheeks and up to her ear, inhaling once again her sweet, womanly scent.
He whispered low, hoping his breath sent a warm tingle down her neck. “You belong to me, Eliza Campbell.”
Eliza pulled away, staring at Samuel, and clutched the soft fabric of the neckerchief at her chest. A spray of gooseflesh coated her arms. Such a kiss should only exist between husband and wife. Dear Lord, forgive me.
Samuel smiled, his crystal eyes shining as he scanned her face. He pulled his shoulders back, accentuating his strong frame under his perfectly tailored uniform. Keeping his clear gaze on her, he backed away a few steps then bowed, turned, and walked through the field, around the house and out of sight.
She stilled and brushed her mouth with her fingers.
Three kisses! And not all polite kisses to be sure. He’d wanted to make his feelings so clear that she could not misunderstand his intensions. She knew him well enough to know that.
She gripped the handkerchief tighter. No, she did not misunderstand.
They had spoken of marriage and their future together many times, so his proposal was not entirely unexpected. But how could she accept? Her hands still quivered. She gazed at the sky that had turned from orange to purple as several stars decorated the heavens. Hugging her arms, she started toward the house, the long blades of grass whipping against her skirts as she walked.
There was no question in her mind that she would have accepted Samuel if not for Father’s letter. As much as she wanted to dismiss the warning, it resounded in her ears. Yet again, she tried to brush them from her memory. Father had to be wrong. And even though she didn’t truly love Samuel, her feelings were strong and might grow stronger. They would make a good match and she would be happy enough. Besides, who else could she turn to? Eliza scowled at the ground. There was something in Samuel’s smile that sat wrong in her belly. How was it she’d never seen it before? Surely it was nothing—just nerves. They knew each other well and had similar ideals. Didn’t they?
She halted mid-step.
What would Samuel say if she confided in him about Father? He hated the patriots and anyone who spoke against the king. Even though he’d loved Father, could Samuel get past what he had done?
Eliza reached the house. After closing the door, she found a lantern and lit it. The light painted the door and she stared at a large knot in the wood. She’d done the right thing. She couldn’t marry Samuel—not right now. Not with this pressing secret that Father and Samuel were enemies.
Resting the lamp at her side, she slumped her back against the door.
Samuel said he could help care for Kitty. He knew how Eliza feared her abilities in that respect, and why. An icy shudder passed over her as the images of that frigid day nine years ago flashed across her mind. She clenched her eyes shut, hoping to squash the dreadful memory. She’d already proven her lack of ability in caring for her siblings—which ended with deadly consequences.
Eliza pushed off the door and dragged her feet across the smooth wood floor. She couldn’t shove the realities of life onto someone else forever, as much as she wished to. With Kitty now under her care, she’d have to make difficult decisions, even if it frightened her to the very core.
