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A whispering breeze sliced through Thomas as his gaze followed their waning figures. His heart shrunk with every advancing step Eliza took.
Thomas kept his eyes on her, knowing she would look back. Though she may not feel the same horrid loneliness that dominated him, they had shared so much. Surely she would acknowledge him before leaving his life forever.
The three of them rounded the far corner that led into town. Thomas’s eyes burned and his throat seized.
She never looked back.
Chapter Twenty-five
The bleakness of the suppressing night compressed Eliza’s already crushed heart.
“Well, what have we here?” Samuel sat higher on the saddle. “Seems as though the gods have provided us with the perfect resting place. We’ll make camp here.”
Why did he have to pick this spot? Eliza groaned as she stared at the familiar cave and blinked back the rush of tears. They’d traveled all day on horseback and Eliza’s legs and backside ached from sitting sidesaddle in front of Samuel. Why he refused to take the highways and stay in the warm boarding houses along the way she would never understand. It wasn’t as if they were being pursued. Though she had a feeling Samuel believed otherwise and had chosen this as a way to avoid any unwanted company.
She glanced beside her at Kitty who shared another horse with Donaldson. Her shoulders slumped and she rocked forward. Donaldson reached with a gentle arm and held her steady.
“You can sleep in a few moments,” Donaldson said, his gentle voice waking Kitty enough to keep her upright.
Samuel pulled on the reins and slipped off the horse, then reached up to help Eliza down. She shuddered as his hands slithered around her waist. Bile inched up her throat again, as it had all day and she took a deep breath to keep it down.
“Are you feeling well, my love?” he said, before kissing her forehead.
“How do you imagine I’m feeling?”
A satisfied grin laced his mouth. “I imagine you’re eager to wed, as I am.”
“You can believe that, if it gives you pleasure.” She glared and walked toward her sister.
Donaldson dismounted and helped Kitty onto the muddy ground. The two girls walked together into the rocky dwelling. Kitty leaned into Eliza as if ready to sleep on her feet. Eliza found a smooth spot on the ground and helped her sister onto the dirt. Warm memories of their first visit to this rocky shelter flickered to life in Eliza’s mind, but she stamped them away, knowing if she entertained such images her heartache would be too much to endure.
“I’ll start a fire,” Samuel said, coming up behind Eliza and brushing her shoulder with his hand. “Donaldson, grab those bedrolls and bring them here. We don’t want these women to catch a chill.”
Eliza stood and looked into the beckoning forest. She wanted to run, to escape into winter’s blackness. Her throat closed, clogged with surging emotions. She brushed at her eyes to hide the evidence of tears.
Donaldson entered, two rolled-up blankets under his arms, just as Samuel managed to start the meager fire. Without a word, Donaldson set the blankets on the hard cave floor and handed one to Eliza.
“I hope these bedrolls will be enough for you. Your sister was quite chilled as we rode. I suggest wrapping this heavy one around her and staying close to share the warmth of your bodies. Do you need anything else, Miss Campbell?”
“No.” Eliza took the blanket and found it easy to smile at his kindness. “Thank you, sir.”
A deep smile crossed the man’s handsome face, before he cleared his throat. “Well, if you do need anything—either of you—don’t hesitate to ask.” He bowed at the waist and turned to assist Samuel.
Eliza draped the blanket around Kitty, then covered herself with her own and snuggled awkwardly next to her sister for warmth while the men stayed busy on the opposite side of the cave. Sleep would not bless her with its company no matter how she willed it. How else could she suppress the wrenching guilt that plagued her? Without sleep she could not flee the memories of the man she loved—and how she’d hurt him.
Thomas, I’m so sorry.
The very thought of him made fresh tears scorch her eyes, and she squinted, burying her face in her cold hands under the
scratchy covering. The image of Thomas’s sorrow-covered features wove into her heart until it threatened to stop beating. She hadn’t been able to look at him—except to try and convince him that she loved Samuel. Doing so had caused her such dizziness she nearly collapsed, but her motivation to keep Thomas safe rose above all else. She recalled how his blue eyes lost their deep color and the blood seeped out of his perfect face. If she’d let her eyes trail over him or allowed herself to be pulled into his gaze, she might not have been able to protect him. Giving away her true feelings would have made him follow her, she knew it, and that was a risk she couldn’t take. Knowing Thomas was alive and could someday lead a normal, happy existence was her ultimate motivation. She loved him more than her own life and prayed with all her strength that somehow he would know it.
I know you’re a talented little actress, Eliza, Samuel had said. You must make Thomas believe you don’t want him, that you want me instead. Because, deep in your heart I know that’s what you want. Don’t try to warn him or send him any kind of message. I’ll be listening. If he so much as follows us, he’s dead.
Samuel’s words swirled like a whirlpool, pulling every remaining hope into its endless spiral.
She prayed she’d done well enough—that Thomas had believed her charade and would leave them be. She wondered if his heart ached as fierce as hers. Walking away and not looking back was the cruelest moment she’d ever endured. Making her legs step one in front of the other had been like walking through thigh-deep mire. How she managed it, she still didn’t know.
A slight east wind lacerated her cheeks as it swept into the cave and her body shook again. This was her future now. She must accept it.
