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The hungering need to hold her, to comfort away her grief, became too great to conquer, and he submitted. He neared from behind, ready to reach for her, but he stopped when, gratefully, she spoke again, saving him from a foolish act that could not have been unwritten.
“I told him we planned to leave again in the morning.” She looked over her shoulder, the weariness in her eyes tensing his already stiff muscles. “And he plans to accompany us.”
“What?” Joseph turned her at the elbow. “Tell me you are not serious.”
She slowed her movements, staring somewhere past his shoulder. “I tried to dissuade him, but he was unmoved.” After a shallow shake of the head, she brushed past him and moved to the other side of the room where a desk and chair rested. “I must write to Caroline and tell her not to call.”
Joseph’s stomach clenched. “Does she often?” A single unwanted visitor could destroy everything.
Offering a cursory glance, Hannah shook her head. “Rarely. But we cannot take the risk.”
Foresighted. Joseph issued a slight, albeit needed inner reprimand. It seemed he gave her far less credit than she deserved.
Clutching the chair, she stopped, touching her forehead. When she didn’t instantly look up again, Joseph advanced beyond the crouching enemy of risk and put a hand at her back. “I fear you are unwell.”
“Only tired.”
He moved her to face him, but she kept her hand upon her head, and ’twas then he noticed her red-cold fingers.
“You are still too cold.”
Heedless of the danger, he took her hands, rubbing them between his own. ’Twas then the threatened enemy struck, as the feel of her skin against his ignited the sweet, torturing memories.
In a flood he could not contain, he tried to speak, to act, to move as if he were not nearly drowning. He continued to rub her icy hands between his. “I wish you would rest.”
She stared up at him, eyes circled and full lips partly open. “I…I suppose I should.”
He kept rubbing, hoping the action would erase not only the cold in her hands but the heat that suddenly burned a path up his chest.
“If you will promise to stay here, I shall go belowstairs and return with a meal.”
Licking her lips, she nodded, her eyes speaking more than he wanted to believe. Did she feel it too? The tangible sparks between them? The sudden pink in her cheeks and quick rise and fall of her chest attested she did.
Slowly, he stilled his hands but could not find the strength to release his hold. Only a moment longer…
She peered up at him, her lips open as if she prepared to speak. Tugging her hands away, she grinned and moved her fingers to prove they had indeed warmed. The color in her face bloomed, matching the same tone of red that her fingers had been.
“Thank you.” Her voice wavered, and she stepped back.
“I…” He cleared his throat, hoping to knock his tone back into place. “I shall return.”
He hurried to the door, flaring his fingers to flick away the lingering allure of her touch. He gripped the cold metal handle and fled the perilous space.
Fool.
Closing the door, he descended the stairs, berating himself with every pulse of his far-too-heated blood. Why had he done it? He growled. He knew why but refused to acknowledge the answer that taunted him—laughing and pointing like a bullying schoolboy. But he stood his ground.
Never again.
Another touch, no matter how innocent or well meaning, would dispatch him to places he knew all too well. Places he would never go again.
* * *
Hannah’s breathing refused to return to normal as she stared at the door Joseph had just closed. What had happened? She shuffled backward to the bed and sat, her pulse still forcing her lungs to pump as if she’d taken a long flight of stairs two by two. Merciful heavens.
She looked to the door again, shock infusing every weary nerve with shots of vibrant light. The tenderness in his eyes, the way he held her hands in his…and almost hadn’t let go.
The rhythmic pulse of her heart drummed a warning cry in her ears. No, Hannah. Do not do it. She had taken this road before and knew its deadly path. ’Twas clear her heart would betray her no matter what she did to secure its loyalty. Groaning, Hannah covered her face. How weak she was. Could she not keep the past ever before her? If s
