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Instinctually, I want to flinch because now I know why he asks—because it is inevitable that I'll attract the Eurydice. It is inevitable that I will love her.
“Why are you so worried about my relationship status? You interested?”
He grins. “Now you're learning, Savior.”
Roth focuses on his coffee for a moment. The foam barely resembles a cat anymore.
“My father died.”
My whole body feels shaky at his news and my stomach coils. Death usually inspires sympathy, but I feel fear. Before, Roth’s commands could be blocked by the Order, now, as Luminary, there is little he can’t influence.
“When?”
“This morning.”
“Does anyone know?”
“You,” Roth says, still looking at his coffee.
“And...?”
“Just you.”
“Why?” I sound disgusted, but I don't understand. How am I the first to know of Maximus's death? Why is Roth choosing to share this information with me?
“Everyone else will find out soon enough. Besides”—he shrugs—”we're friends, right?”
“We're not friends.” He stares at me, his eyes darken, and the most frustrating part is I can't tell if he's joking or under the delusion we're actually buddies. My skin starts to feel like it's made of wool, hot and itchy.
“We shouldn't suffer grief,” he says, then slams his hand on the table. I tense, wondering if this will turn into a fight. “It should be our power to summon Charon, walk into Spirit, and take everyone back we've lost.”
“It's not that simple, Roth. Even the Eurydice has limits.”
“You don’t think she would bring someone back to life if she could?” he asks.
I know she would—the real question is, does Roth?
“Is that why you want the Eurydice? To bring your father back?”
“My father?” He scoffs like that's the most ludicrous idea in the world. “No. Never him. I'd have no power then.”
There's too much wrong with that statement.
“Being Luminary isn't power enough for you?”
“What is the Luminary but a lawmaker? There's untapped potential among the Valryn. We could rule the passage between Spirit, offer life and death, all with the Eurydice's help.”
And just like that, I understand why he wants her, and it makes me sick.
“The Order won’t support that.”
Roth chuckles. “Look, Savior. I’m not here to ask your opinion. I’m here to see if you’ve considered my offer.”
The offer of Commander—my dream.
I thought so often of what it would be like as Commander. To stand beside my father, my arms banded with red thread, marking me as someone who’s earned the title.
And there is the problem. I didn’t earn anything.
