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“What?” I practically screamed the words as I snapped back to him, filled with rage, and put the knife to his throat.
“Mio cuore…” he said evenly, soothingly. “That is the only way it can be. It’s not true love unless the person can destroy you completely.” My brow furrowed. Reluctantly I eased back, the knife just at his collarbone now. True love? What the fuck was he talking about? He didn’t love me.
I looked down at him, at the beautiful scars curling along the chest that breathed so even and easy. There was a tug in my chest that screamed of irrevocability. It was as if every time I looked at him, my soul sung in harmony, and every time we were apart, it wept. When I looked back up, the same intense bluegreen gaze studied me. His words affected me, settled in my chest like a hard stone as my eyes got hot and wet. I shook my head.
This was not true love.
This was hate. Pure. Visceral. HATE.
I shoved the knife back against his throat. With a shaky hand, I avoided his dark stare. Do you love me? I flashed my eyes back up to his. The words were on the tip of my tongue. As if he could sense what was happening, his own eyes narrowed, reminding me that it only took a look to probe and completely disarm me. I had a fucking knife and he was tied down, but I was somehow still completely at his mercy. With an unsteady breath, I attempted to take back the power.
“Well, I’m going to start destroying you,” I said, focusing on keeping my voice steady. “Just like you destroyed me. Right now.” It looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. His stare was harsher than words, like fire on my skin. It wasn’t anger; it was knowing. It was him digging into my purpose, and that was so much worse. It was as if he could see something in me that I couldn’t, and his lips were quirked as if he was fucking enjoying this. Blinking, I tried turning back to my task, but I couldn’t focus. My vision blurred and all I wanted to know was the answer to my question.
“You don’t love me,” I said, my voice hardly above a whisper. I could hear the door pushing open behind me and I knew our time was coming to an end. I pushed the knife until I saw blood trickle. Whoever was coming wouldn’t appreciate why I had to do this. I had to finish this now…but then I looked up, caught his stare. Suddenly I was less interested in ending this and more interested in knowing. My grip wavered.
“Do you?” I asked, and I heard the door bang against the wall. There was a brief pause that followed, a half second where I stared into him—his eyes, his lips—trying to find a tick. I was looking for anything that might betray an answer.
“Mio cuore…” he began.
“Oh my God!” Gabby yelled behind me. Her voice broke the spell, interrupting Anteros and catalyzing me back to my cause. Mind games, I reminded myself. This was all just a mind game. Even so, I couldn’t continue. My hand was out of control with its shaking and I could feel the drive disappearing from me. I knew they were mind games, but they were working. My adrenaline was draining.
“We have to go!” Gabby yelled.
“Just a second,” I said over my shoulder. I was going to go deaf from the sound of my heartbeat. My blood rushed so fast I could feel it everywhere, tingling, threatening to pull me down. Spots were filling my view. Anteros’s
stare was iron, probing into my soul like he was daring me to do something with the knife.
I exhaled, sitting back.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill him.
But I also couldn’t just leave without taking something. After everything that had happened, I had to leave him with something. Gabby’s voice was hurried and anxious in my ear, but I moved the knife from his throat and put it to his chest. Pointing it to the skin, I started carving into his flesh. Adrenaline was like electricity in my veins. Pumping and hot. Dangerous and exciting. My fingers blanched with the effort, my skin got sweaty on the handle. My hand shook.
The entire time, I watched him.
He hardly seemed bothered by what I was doing—except for his eyes. The bluegreen irises were shadowed by a heavy brow, searing and scorching their intent into my brain. I swallowed. I would remember that look: pure lust.
When I finished, I sat back. My gut flipped and I gaped at the F I’d just carved into his chest. His face held that same infuriatingly amused expression. I was expecting anger and fury, not this…this carnal hunger. I was expecting this to drive us apart, but beneath his lust was satisfaction. It was as if he was happy I’d done it, as if me carving into him didn’t push us apart, but secured our link even further.
We were in our own world now, Gabby’s voice having been completely drowned out by the rush of my heartbeat. I leaned closer, touching the bloody F on his chest. The pieces of him within me called out, rejoiced. I realized that I was happy, too. I was happy to know that once I left, there was a piece of me stuck on him forever. Anteros had cemented his place inside me, would forever be in my body, my mind, my soul. At least now we were a little closer to even. My fingers continued to caress the F and he made a sound low in his throat, but it wasn’t of anger. It sounded…satisfied. I looked up just in time to hear him speak.
“Yes,” he said. My eyes widened, my chest tightened. Did that mean what I thought it meant?
“Now!” Gabby grabbed my shoulder, tugging me from the bed, and I dropped my hand as if I’d been burned. Without giving Anteros another look, I stumbled out of the doorway.
Epilogue
We ran down the emergency exit stairs, taking them two at a time. It didn’t feel real. After a month, it felt like a dream to be running to freedom. I nearly couldn’t process it. My heart thumped hard in my chest with fear and adrenaline and I kept telling myself to keep running, keep going after Gabby.
That was all I could do to keep from running back.
“Where’s Vic?” I panted, using the railing to jump over more steps. “Or Nikolai?”
“Where’s Vic or Nikolai?” Gabby yelled, throwing a glare at me over her shoulder. “They’re where they’re supposed to be—with a car down in the service parking lot.” We paused to catch our breath and she pushed me. Then she pushed me again. I stumbled back, nearly tripping over the stairs and falling down.
“What the fuck?” I yelled, my voice catching in the stairwell and echoing back the surprise.
“Exactly.” Gabby pushed me again. “You almost blew everything! Do you know what I risked checking on you?” She swallowed. “You were to just inject him and he’d be dead now.”
