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That wasn’t enough.
That wasn’t what he was owed.
It was nine at night. I’d left Eli four hours before, saying I was going home. That would have been the smart thing to do. No doubt Daddy was sitting in his chair, waiting for me to come home, leather belt in hand, fury on his mind. The picture of him was so familiar it was basically burned in my brain. The longer I didn’t go home, the harsher my punishment would be.
Still, I had to do this. For Eli.
I rapped on the rusty tin door. When there was no response, I rapped again. If I’d known better, I’d have left, but we’ve already established I didn’t know better.
Zero stumbled to the door wearing nothing but boxers. I wanted to look away, feeling heat creep up to my cheeks. I wasn’t attracted to him—I’d sooner kiss a poisonous lizard—I just felt uncomfortable being so close to a nearly-naked man that wasn’t Eli.
Seeing that it was me, Zero leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. Zero had muscles, but not like Eli. Zero’s body looked like it was always about to molt. His skin was tight across his body, his muscles bulging in a sickly way, his ribs poking out. His head was shaved so close to his skin he looked bald. He reminded me of a snake.
“Well, well…” Zero sneered. “What’s little Gracie Wall doing at my door?”
I willed myself to be strong. I had to be strong. For Eli. “It’s about Eli.”
Zero grinned. “Our boy’s going to college, I hear.”
I shifted on my feet, unsure how to broach the subject. “Is he?”
The grin on Zero’s face faded and was replaced with a hollow glare, his eyes dark. “You’re meddlin’ in things you shouldn’t be. Better leave now.”
“Leave him alone, Zero.” My voice shook a little, but I refused to back down.
“Or what?” Zero laughed darkly. “You’ll pray at me?”
“Can’t we come to some kinda deal?” I was terrified. You didn’t become a man like Zero without compromising a few morals and destroying a few lives. In my mind I thought if I stuck to my plan, nothing could go wrong. There I was, at the devil’s door, literally looking to bargain; the truth was, everything could go wrong.
The glare Zero had been sporting disappeared and he smil
ed at me. I started to think Zero was one of those masks with two faces. Eli had shown me one when we’d gone to a play at the community theatre. One side of the mask was happy and the other was sad. It was kind of grotesque looking.
Zero stepped toward me and instinctively I stepped back. He reached out and grabbed the spaghetti strap of my sundress, pulling it toward him.
“A deal?” He laughed. “I can only think of one thing I’d want from you, and it’s not worth what he owes.” He dropped the strap, laughing when I hurriedly pulled it up my shoulder. I felt sick, bile rising up my throat. I never wore spaghetti straps. Daddy said showing shoulders was something whores did. I’d rebelled and look what that got me.
Closing my eyes tight, trying not to cry, I pushed forward.
“How much does he owe?” I had always told Eli that Zero was no good, but he’d been so young when Zero promised him the world. He’d promised him a life better than his home, a life better than our town. Zero had promised him freedom. I didn’t blame him for wanting all that. Eli had promised me the same things, and I got so lucky he’d delivered on his promise.
“Twenty grand.”
I nearly coughed. Twenty grand? How on earth had Eli racked up such a debt? I had half a mind to argue that Zero was lying, but even if Zero was lying (which he probably was), what good would that do? Zero had proof that Eli was doing illegal stuff. Eli would never be an attorney as long as Zero clung around like dirt.
A plan started to form in my mind. It was only half there, but it was enough to get me talking.
“What if I took Eli’s spot?” It was foolish of me to offer, but I owed Eli so much. I owed Eli my life. Without Eli, I would have withered and died in my house, a figment whose only purpose was Daddy. Eli gave me purpose. Eli gave me love. It was the least I could do.
Zero kicked off the doorframe again, eyeing me not with lust or amusement any more, but intrigue.
“I’ll take over his debt,” I continued. “I’ll start where he left off.”
Zero rubbed the stubble on his chin. “It’s been about a year and a half since Eli’s done any real work for me. He was trying to go straight and shit.”
“I’ll work. I’ll actually work if you let Eli go, no strings.” I added quickly, “No sex.”
Zero barked a laugh. “I don’t trade sex. Do you understand what you’ll be doing?”
