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She glanced back at him. He was gazing down at his drink, idly twisting the glass between his long fingers, his expression hidden from her.
'I don't think I was ever cut out to be a judge—as you so rightly told me the last time we met.'
'Oh, but. . .'
'Don't worry.' His hand slid casually to rest on her thigh, and he squeezed it reassuringly. Except that, to Zoe, it was not reassuring—quite the opposite: intensely arousing. 'It had nothing to do with you. For years I went along with what Bertie wanted for me simply because he had been good to me and I wanted to please him. But I realised a few months after his death that it was his ambition I was following, not my own. So I went back to international law.'
'Do you like it?' she asked breathlessly; his hand, idly stroking her thigh, was playing havoc with her nervous system.
'I love it. I get to travel; I make vast amounts of money.'
Then she remembered Janet; he had once worked with the woman in that field. She tensed. 'And I suppose you work with Janet again?'
'Good God, no!' he exclaimed, easing up, his arm somehow finding its way around her shoulder. 'She put herself in a clinic and dried out and then married Bob. They have two children.'
'Dried out?' she queried.
'Surely you knew the woman was an alcoholic? Everyone else did.'
She had a vivid image of Janet drinking from the champagne bottle at her twenty-first, and the thought that she had allowed Janet's drunken revelations to persuade her to run out on Justin was oddly disturbing, but, banishing her unease, she responded.
'I never guessed. But Janet—with a family—the mind boggles.' She grinned, inexplicably lighter of heart.
'Is it so strange for a woman to want a home and family, Zoe? Are you really such a determined career girl? The girl I married was longing to have a baby. I often wondered—if I hadn't insisted on waiting a year— if I had made you pregnant—would you have run away so easily?'
The colour drained from her face. He was getting too near the truth, and she lowered her eyes, unable to meet his dark, enquiring gaze. The anger, the hatred and bitterness she had felt because he had married her but never loved her were no excuse for what she had done. She was flooded with guilt and remorse and combined with too much liquor it was a lethal combination.
She opened her mouth to tell him about Val, but before she could confess Justin continued, 'Jess and I debated the point once. She's of the opinion that a child only makes a bad relationship worse. I'm not so sure.'
The mention of Jess acted like a bucket of cold water over Zoe, reminding her exactly why she was here, and time was running out if her plan was to work. His girlfriend might be back any minute.
'Yes, well, it is all rather academic now,' she said lightly, and, turning towards him, she deliberately placed her small hand on his chest. She tilted her head back to look up into his harshly attractive face.
'Don't let's talk about the past. I'm much more interested in the present.' And, forcing a regretful smile to her lips and widening her blue eyes appealingly, she added, 'I'm glad we can be friends, Justin.'
She inched her hand higher to where the top buttons of his shirt were open to reveal the strong line of his throat. Her fingers grazed his skin and she felt him tense. 'It is rather late; Jess will be back soon.' She was fishing, but she needed to know. 'I'd better get back to my hotel.'
His dark eyes glittered dangerously down into hers as he caught her hand and held it trapped against his chest. 'Jess won't be back tonight, and you don't have to go— you can stay here.'
He lifted her hand to his mouth, his lips kissing her fingertips, his eyes coolly assessing on her upturned face. 'You understand that I'm not into celibacy?' The corners of his hard mouth quirked in a sensuous smile. 'If that's going to be a problem for you, say so. I will understand,' he said smoothly.
She understood all right. He was offering her what she had set out to get. It was there in the flare of desire in his eyes, quickly masked by his hooded lids. He sucked one of her fingers into his mouth and she trembled, her pulse galloping.
He was still the only man who could arouse the sensual side of her nature. His touch still had the power to turn her will to mush. It was galling to admit. It left a bitter sense of self-loathing in her troubled conscience but it didn't make it any the less true.
She should have been ecstatic but instead all she felt was a profound sadness. This man had been the love of her life, and he had confirmed what she had always known. He was a man who betrayed the women in his life without a qualm.
'But Jess. . .' She needed to hear him confirm his duplicity. It would help to ease her own sense of guilt.
'Don't worry your head about Jess. She's a woman of the world, Zoe, the same as you.' And, lifting her on to his lap, he bent to her mouth.
Much later she was to wonder if she had actually seduced her husband, or if it had been the other way around. . .
CHAPTER SEVEN
Zoe had imagined that she would have to force herself to accept Justin's lovemaking, to tell herself it was for her son's life and just lie back and think of England!
But at the first touch of his lips on hers she knew that she had lied to herself for years. She was swamped with emotions—feelings so intense that they stole the breath from her body and moisture stung her eyes.
