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She was such a fool. And that was the point, wasn’t it? She was such a klutz he couldn’t help himself trying to help her. Because that was the kind of guy he was. And now she’d humiliated herself completely by insisting that there was more to it. Of course he hadn’t been able to reply—he hadn’t wanted to hurt her, and he’d already spelt it out as plainly as he could: sex, that was all there was to it.
‘How’d it go?’
Damn. She’d hoped he’d have gone downstairs to work already this morning. Instead he was sitting at the table. She felt her cheeks warm at the sight of it. Truthfully, she’d forgotten about the audition the minute she’d walked out of it. Somehow the lines had come to her. She must have come across like an automaton. Ah, well, chalk another one up to experience.
‘Don’t ask.’
He looked moody. ‘I’m sorry I was so grumpy.’
‘I’m sorry I was so ungrateful.’ She inched closer. ‘I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Owen.’ Oh, God, this was awkward.
‘It’s nothing.’ He shook his head. ‘No trouble.’
That was right—not for him. ‘Please let me pay back what I owe you.’
His expression tightened more. ‘It’s just money, Bella. It doesn’t matter.’
‘It matters to me.’ She hated being in his debt like this. Hated that all she had to offer in return was her heart, and he’d never want that.
‘OK.’ He paused, stared hard at the table. ‘But only if you stay. I’d like you to stay.’ He paused. ‘Just until you get yourself sorted.’
There it was, the caveat. She’d been right—he couldn’t hold back the offer of assistance, but nor could he offer anything else. Now sh
e felt too awkward to say yes, too awkward to say no.
‘OK.’ Her reply came out on a heavy sigh. She couldn’t see that getting herself sorted was going to happen any time soon, but she’d be out of here regardless. She took a deep breath and tackled the most awkward bit of all. ‘I’ll tell you as soon as I know.’ A few days to be certain, then she’d leave. She refused to think about what would happen if she was pregnant—that was altogether too scary.
He looked back at her, looking as sombre as she’d sounded. She knew he knew what she was referring to. And she knew how badly he didn’t want it.
The next two days dragged for Owen. He’d wanted to back off, but only seemed to be digging himself in deeper. He kept reliving that argument. She’d touched a nerve and he’d flared up at her, but he hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true—had he? He couldn’t help the sickening feeling that he’d thrown something precious away before he’d even realised he had it.
Worse, he had the feeling she’d been the one hitting truth on the head at the end there. He couldn’t face it—couldn’t face her, until he knew whether she was pregnant or not. He couldn’t think until he knew. It was like waiting for a jury to return its verdict—were they going to get a life sentence? Either way there’d be guilt and bitterness. And it was worse than Liz—this time he was to blame. It hadn’t been Bella’s fault at all. The sooner it was all over, the better.
And yet he missed her. How he missed her. He practically had to lock himself into his bedroom to stop from going into hers. His arms ached with emptiness. Sleep was utterly elusive—and so was she. She worked long hours at the café and hid in her room the rest of the time. He spent more time in the offices downstairs to give them both some space.
But truly finding space was impossible while she was staying with him. And he wasn’t ready to ask her to leave yet. He still wanted her with a passion that was tearing him up inside and, more than that, he wanted to make things right. He decided a trip away was the answer. Just a couple of days. Regain perspective and work out what the hell he was going to do if she was pregnant.
She hadn’t mentioned it again. Whereas by now Liz had chosen names and been practically putting the baby on the list for the most exclusive schools. Bella was making no demands—making a point of it, in fact. She’d backed right off and had shut down her expressive face. He hated that too—he wished he knew what she was thinking and wanted to know if she was OK.
Owen had withdrawn from her. He was working later, not coming into the café any more. Bella munched on her small bowl of muesli and watched him pack his laptop into his case.
‘How long are you gone for?’
‘I’m not sure yet. Couple of days maybe, I don’t know.’
She nodded.
‘You’ve got the security code?’
She nodded again. She’d take the opportunity to find herself a new flat. She could move into a flat-share with some students. There’d be plenty of cheap ones out in the suburbs. That was her plan. This was the end of the end. She knew it. He knew it.
He glanced into the contents of her bowl and his cheeky smile appeared. She hadn’t seen it for a while and it made her heart ache.
‘You’re supposed to eat that stuff in the morning, you know.’
She managed a wry grin back. ‘Better late than never.’
Both their grins faded.
