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Her friend said dreamily, ‘Somehow I don’t think you’ll be coming back for more shifts, but it’s okay. I totally forgive you.’
Keelin rolled her eyes and hated that her heart lurched at that. Gianni was here to talk to her about O’Connor’s, no doubt. She took off her apron and got her bag from under the counter and went straight out the door, not even bothering to see if he was following her.
He caught up with her easily and said, ‘We’ll go to my hotel, it’s private.’
Keelin stopped and looked at him. She was very conscious of being in her waitress’s outfit of a black skirt and white shirt, smelling distinctly of eau de kitchen.
And it was seriously disconcerting to see Gianni in Dublin against the dusky sky. ‘Where are you staying?’
He named a hotel which was naturally the most exclusive and expensive in Dublin, and suddenly Keelin had a vision of them in a sumptuous private space and she balked at the thought.
She shook her head and said firmly, ‘No, there’s a coffee shop in my hostel, and it’s closer. We’ll go there.’
Gianni’s mouth tightened but he said nothing and then eventually, ‘Fine, lead the way.’
Ten minutes later they were entering a very rustic and hippyesque lobby of one of Dublin’s busiest hostels. Keelin went into the coffee shop part of it and asked for two coffees, acutely aware that all the tourist backpackers were blinking at this glorious specimen of masculinity in their midst.
She almost regrette
d coming here, but then had to admit to some sense of satisfaction when she saw Gianni lower himself gingerly onto a very threadbare-looking chair beside hers.
She wrapped her hands around her coffee and cut to the chase. ‘Why are you here?’
Gianni responded a little incredulously, ‘You really want to do this here?’
Keelin nodded, now more than ever, because the more it sank in that he was here, the more she wanted to reach out and touch him.
Gianni shrugged minutely under his pristine jacket and took a sip of coffee before putting it down. He speared her with that black gaze. ‘I owe you an apology.’
Keelin went still. ‘You do?’
He nodded, looking serious. ‘I automatically assumed you were in on the downfall of O’Connor’s and I shouldn’t have. You gave me no reason to believe that you would collude with your father, anything but.’
Something deflated inside Keelin. ‘You spoke to my father? Or you figured it out because I’m not mentioned anywhere?’
Gianni shook his head. ‘No, I didn’t check anything. I didn’t need to. Once I could see clearly again I knew the truth but I jumped to the worst conclusion because it was easier than dealing with my emotions.’
Keelin felt a little dizzy even though she was sitting down. She frowned. ‘Emotions, what do you mean?’
Gianni sighed and ran a hand through his hair, a sign of his inner agitation. He looked at her. ‘I need to know what you meant just before you left that last day when you said that the marriage had become something else and what you meant about losing O’Connor’s not being the worst thing.’
Keelin said faintly, ‘It’s not enough that I gave you everything?’
Gianni shook his head, resolute. ‘I need to know.’
Anger surged inside Keelin to think that he was going to take her feelings and use them to torture her. She put down her coffee, and clenched her hands, saying fiercely, ‘Damn you, Gianni Delucca. I wish I’d never set eyes on you. Everything was so much clearer before you came along. I knew who I was and what I wanted.’
He looked pained. ‘Do you really mean that?’
Keelin shook her head and nodded at the same time, anger draining away. ‘No. Yes. No.’
And then Gianni shocked her by moving onto his knees before her, right there in the lobby of the hostel. Keelin darted a look around, aware of the avid interest. ‘What are you doing?’
He ignored her question and asked again, ‘What did you mean?’
Keelin felt shaky. The way Gianni was looking at her, she’d never seen him like this before, stripped of all artifice and arrogance. He looked younger, vulnerable. And she thought about his father, and grandfather, and how important it was to him to fix the past, and her heart swelled.
She finally admitted huskily, ‘When I stopped fighting you and fighting being married to you, I discovered that I liked it. And that I didn’t want to keep thinking about ways to get out of it. Losing O’Connor’s wasn’t the worst thing because losing you was far worse. My whole life was spent seeking a way into my father’s affections, or gaining his approval. Then when I knew that would never happen, I transferred it to gaining a place in O’Connor’s, but deep down I wanted a soul-deep connection with someone, and when I felt it for you I pushed it away because I was afraid that I was just blindly seeking approval or acceptance all over again.’
