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Nessa felt sick and turned away before he could see her. She’d never felt like such a fool. She tried to walk away as quickly as she could but a hand on her arm stopped her.
‘You thought what...?’
Nessa blinked back tears and turned around, avoiding Luc’s eye. ‘I watched the race online. You ran over, and you shouted at Francois that you cared about me, and not the horse.’ But now Nessa realised that of course Luc would care about any one of his jockeys more than a horse.
That was all it had been.
His hand tightened so much on her arm that she looked up at him. When she saw the look on his face she stopped breathing.
‘You thought I just felt responsible for you?’
Nessa’s humiliation turned to anger. ‘Didn’t you?’
His eyes were burning and she saw the same volatile emotion she was feeling reflected in their depths. But she didn’t trust it.
‘Believe me,’ he said grimly, ‘I wish that what I felt for you was just a sense of responsibility.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
He dropped his hand from her arm as if suddenly aware he might be hurting her.
‘I proposed to you in the hospital because I was too cowardly to admit that I nearly lost my whole life when I saw you lying under that horse. Of course I felt responsible, but I was also terrified.’
He took a deep breath. ‘I was terrified I was about to lose the only other person I’ve ever truly loved in my life, but I couldn’t admit that to myself even then.’
Nessa’s heart stopped. She was afraid she might be projecting words from her heart onto Luc’s lips. ‘What are you saying?’
He took a step closer. He looked uncharacteristically vulnerable. ‘I’m saying that I love you, Nessa. I think I’ve loved you from the moment we met, when I knew that I didn’t want to let you out of my sight. But I know you don’t love me and I told myself I wouldn’t stoop low enough to seduce you again because you deserve more. I brought nothing but more loss into your life.’
Nessa shook her head, almost too afraid to move in case she shattered this delicate moment. ‘First of all, it’s no one’s fault we lost the baby. It was just one of those things. Secondly, I lied to you. I do love you. So much that it scares me. And third of all, you brought nothing but richness into my life. You awakened me. You made me believe I was beautiful, you gave me the chance to be a jockey, you showed me Paris. That’s where I knew I loved you.’
He reached for her and drew her to him as gently as if she were spun glass. ‘Do you mean this?’
She nodded. ‘I mean it with every bone in my body. When I told you I didn’t love you at the hospital it was because I thought you were just consolidating your empire with a marriage of convenience.’
He shook his head, drawing her in even closer so their bodies were touching. A wave of need surged through Nessa. Luc’s voice was full of self-recrimination. ‘None of this means anything without you. I said it wasn’t about love because I didn’t know what love was. Until I went back the next day and you were gone. I was so sure I could persuade you...seduce you. And then I realised I wanted so much more.
‘I want it all, Nessa. A real family. Even though it terrifies me. How do I know how to have a family when I’ve never been part of one?’
Nessa reached up and put her arms around Luc’s neck. She felt stupidly shy all of a sudden. ‘I can show you.’
He looked down at her, a suspiciously bright glint in his eye. ‘It might take a lifetime.’
‘I wouldn’t settle for anything less.’
Luc suddenly looked serious. He framed her face with his hands. ‘Nessa O’Sullivan, I’m never letting you out of my sight, ever again. Will you marry me?’
She nodded, a surge of joy spreading from her heart to every part of her body. Tears made her vision blurry. ‘Yes...yes, I will. I love you, Luc.’
‘I love you, mon amour.’
Luc could feel Nessa’s heart thumping in time with his, and as her mouth opened under his and he pulled her even closer he knew that this wasn’t just a mirage, and that, finally, he’d found peace, love, and his true home.
EPILOGUE
‘AND IT’S NESSA BARBIER, riding to glory again in the Kilkenny Stakes on Sacre Coeur, owned by her husband and brother-in-law...’
A short time later Luc watched as his wife rode into the winner’s enclosure, mud-spattered face beaming. She wore the colours of the newly announced Barbier-Al-Saqr racing consortium—green and gold, a nod to Ireland and Merkazad.
