AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He switched the TV off and muttered thickly, “I can’t even watch that.”
Tears stung Julia’s eyes. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t just ignore what was happening. I know these babies are important to you, but surely your own people are important too?”
He just looked at her. “What are you talking about?”
Julia put her hand on her bump. She’d just had a scan with Dr Assan and been reassured that all was fine. “The babies. I presume that’s why you’re so angry with me … for putting them in danger?”
Kaden raked a hand through his hair and ground out, “I’m not angry with you for putting the babies in danger. I’m livid with you for putting yourself in such danger.”
He came close before Julia could fully take in his words and sat down, pulling a chair close to the bed and taking her hands in his with a tight grip. “Do you have any idea what I went through before I got to you?”
Julia shook her head slowly. An ominous fluttering feeling was starting up in her chest.
“I think I aged about fifty years, and made blood promises to several gods. So if some strange-looking person turns up and demands our firstborn baby don’t be surprised.”
“Kaden …” Julia was feeling more shaky now than when she’d been at the crash. “What are you talking about? You’re not making sense.” And yet at the same time he was making a kind of sense she didn’t want to think about.
“What I’m talking about, habiba, is the fact that for the longest thirty minutes of my life I didn’t want to go on living if anything had happened to you.”
Feeling suspiciously emotional, and very vulnerable, Julia couldn’t take her eyes off Kaden.
He continued. “I was going to talk to you this evening when you got back … I don’t want to tire you now …”
Concern was etched onto his face, and Julia said fiercely, “I’m fine. Talk.”
Kaden looked down, and then back up at Julia. “I’m not sure where to start … There’s so much I have to say … But I think first I need to tell you the one truth that is more important than anything.”
Julia held her breath as Kaden gripped her hand tighter.
“I want you to know that I’m not saying this now because of the crash, or because of the after effects of adrenalin and shock. I had arranged for us to go to the summer palace this evening, for a belated honeymoon. You can ask Sara. She was organising it.”
“Kaden …” Julia said weakly. She couldn’t look away from the dark intensity of his eyes.
He took a deep, audibly shaky breath. “I love you, Julia. Mind, body, heart and soul. And I always have. From the moment we met in the middle of that dig. I did a wonderful job of convincing myself twelve years ago that I hadn’t ever loved you, but as soon as I saw you again the game was up … and eventually I had to stop lying to myself.”
Julia looked at Kaden in shock. She could hear her heart thumping. Her mouth opened.
Kaden shook his head and said, “Don’t say anything—not yet. Let me finish.”
Julia couldn’t have spoken, even if she’d wanted to. Her mouth closed. She could feel the babies moving in her belly, but that was secondary to what was happening right now.
“The day you left twelve years ago was possibly the worst day of my life.” He winced. “Barring today’s events. I felt as if I was being torn in two—like Jekyll and Hyde. For a long time I blamed the grief I felt on my father’s death—and that was there, yes. But a larger part of my grief was for you. There’s something I have to explain. When we returned from that last trip to the desert I went to my father. I told him that I was going to ask you to marry me. All I could think about was you—you filled up my heart and soul like nothing I’d ever imagined, and I couldn’t imagine not being with you for ever.”
Julia could feel herself go pale as she remembered that heady time. And then her confusion when Kaden had abandoned her. She shook her head. “But why did you not come to see me? Tell me this …?”
Kaden’s jaw clenched. “Because that night my father had his first heart attack. Only those closest to him knew how serious it was. We sent out the news that he wasn’t well, but we hid the gravity of the situation for fear of panicking the people. I became acting ruler overnight. I was constantly surrounded by aides. I couldn’t move two steps without being questioned or followed. And I suspect that after what I’d told my father he instructed his aides to keep an eye on me and not let me near you.
“I think he saw history repeating itself. His second wife had been a bad choice, unpopular with the people. He knew how important it would be for me to marry well and create a stable base, and here I was declaring my intention to ask you to marry me and to hell with the consequences.”
Kaden sighed. “I stuck to my guns. I was still determined to ask you to marry me. I decided that while you were finishing your studies I’d give you the time to think about whether or not you really wanted this life …”
Julia felt tears prickle at the back of her eyes. She knew how she would have answered that.
Kaden’s voice was gruff. “The first chance I had I got away on my own and went to find you. One of your tutors told me you were all out that night in a bar …”
Julia squeezed Kaden’s hand, willing him to believe her. “You have to know what you saw meant nothing … it was just a stupid kiss. It was over the moment it started. I was feeling insecure because I hadn’t heard from you, and I think I wanted to assure myself that you couldn’t be the only man who could make me feel. I was afraid we were over and I’d never see you again.”
To Julia’s intense relief Kaden picked up her hand and kissed her palm. “I know that now … and I can see how vulnerable you must have felt—especially so soon after that blow from your birth mother …” He grimaced. “I, however, was blindingly jealous and hot-headed. It felt like the ultimate betrayal. Especially when I’d been pining for you for what felt like endless nights, dreaming of proposing to you even if it meant going against my father’s wishes. And then to see you in another man’s arms … it was too much. The jealousy was overwhelming. I’d been brought up to view romantic love suspiciously. My father became a shadow of himself after my mother died, and he never stopped telling me that my duty was first and foremost to my country. He was most likely trying to protect me … but when I felt so betrayed by you it only seemed to confirm his words. I convinced myself that it wasn’t love I felt. It was lust. Because then it wouldn’t hurt so much.”
