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He heard the words coming out but wasn’t really aware of them. ‘This changes nothing. All evidence points to the fact that he hasn’t changed one bit. Don’t try my patience telling me these things.’
Rocco turned and strode back into the suite, feeling as if his insides were splintering apart into a thousand pieces.
Gracie looked at Rocco walking away and felt numb with hurt and rejection. She realised now why she’d told him more than she’d ever told anyone else. Not even Steven had ever mentioned out loud what had almost happened that night so long ago. It had been too horrific to contemplate. Yet Gracie had just told Rocco as if it had cost her nothing. But it was costing her dearly. Because she knew now what lay beneath this self-destructive desire to expose herself to him no matter what the consequences.
She was falling in love with him.
Rocco wasn’t surprised when he was still tossing and turning an hour later. What he wasn’t prepared for was the ache in his gut and the way the vast emptiness of the bed beside him was affecting him. He drew back the covers and sat up, his parting words to Gracie ringing in his head. He cursed her. But even as he did he cursed himself more.
All he could see in his mind’s eye now was that picture of Gracie and Steven when they’d been small. Her brother’s scared-looking little face with those huge glasses and Gracie looking so strong beside him. Like a little warrior. He found himself feeling jealous—of her brother. That she cared so much for him. That they had such a bond.
It had been easier to hurl those words at her and walk away than deal with the emotion. It opened up far too many chasms. And yet he couldn’t go on like this. He felt as if he was missing a limb.
Rocco went outside to the patio. He could see her curled up shape on a sun lounger in the dim moonlight and he felt the ache in his chest intensify into a physical pain. Damn her. He walked over and saw that their clothes were neatly folded and piled up. Her dress was a damp stain of colour against the ground. He looked at her, steeling himself for the inevitable effect.
Her face was relaxed, her hair rippling around her, looking very red against the pale cream lounger. Legs drawn up in that foetal pose she liked. His gut clenched when he thought of how her brother had protected her, and Rocco realised that he was jealous even of that.
He fought the urge to turn and walk away again. He bent down and scooped her up into his arms. She woke up and braced herself against him, resisting him.
‘Wait …’ Her voice sounded sleepy and sexy.
Rocco was already responding. He gritted his jaw and said, ‘Enough. You’ve made your point and I’ve made mine.’
He set her back and looked into those huge eyes, and felt that falling sensation again.
‘I didn’t mean to be so sharp.’ He shook his head and forced the tender feeling from his belly. ‘You don’t have to tell me anything, Gracie. It doesn’t change the situation we’re in regarding your brother.’
Her hands were on his chest. Her voice was husky with emotion. ‘You mean you don’t want me to tell you anything because you’re not interested?’
Rocco felt that tenderness inching back, together with a need to reassure her, and crushed it, feeling more ruthless than he’d ever been in his life. He concentrated on remaining immune to Gracie’s appeal.
‘Why your brother has done what he has is irrelevant to me. I deal in concrete things and he stole money from me. You, however, are far more relevant right now, and I don’t want to talk about your brother or your past any more. Deal?’
Gracie was wide awake now, and could feel Rocco’s intensity reaching out and sucking her in. He desperately wanted her to say yes. She could feel it. Even now, in spite of the hurt and rejection, she could fool herself into thinking she saw something deep in his eyes. Something vulnerable and exposed. She wanted this man with a hunger that shamed her. Even as she desperately wanted to be able to reject him, to inflict pain on him the way he’d done to her. But she couldn’t.
Hating herself, and the feeling of inevitability that washed through her, she said with a small voice, ‘Deal.’
To her relief Rocco didn’t grin with triumph, or—look mildly pleased with her capitualtion. He just looked intense and serious as he picked her up in his arms and took her back into the bedroom.
Landing in New York two days later was a different experience from landing in Bangkok. Far below them was a sea of grey buildings as far as her eye could see, vastly different from the lush green paddy fields.
Rocco was working across the aisle from her, a frown between his eyes as he studied papers.
She looked back to the view. Since the other night it had been as if a proper truce existed between them. They were careful to talk only about neutral topics. Rocco had even taken time off from his meetings to take Gracie to Bangkok’s stunning Grand Palace, and she’d wandered around in complete awe at the designs of the buildings with their vast marble terraces.
The style of the palace was eclectic: soaring Palladian arches and columns mixed with traditionally ornate Thai roofs. There was an entire temple devoted to a tiny Emerald Buddha which was placed high on an altar above the crowd. There was also a large model of the Cambodian temple of Angkor Wat, one of the places that had always fascinated Gracie.
She’d spent long minutes going round and round it, and had looked up to find Rocco leaning on a nearby wall just staring at her. She still felt weak inside when she thought of that look.
He’d woken her very early the previous morning and had led her, grumbling and sleepy, outside the hotel. She’d only noticed then that he was casually dressed in shorts and T-shirt. To her delighted surprise there had been a Tuk-Tuk waiting to take them to one of the floating markets, where they’d got into a boat and seen Buddhist monks in their distinctive orange robes accepting alms from the locals.
Gracie had been deeply moved by Rocco surprising her like that with a dawn visit to the markets before the hordes of tourists arrived, and the ride back through the city with the kamikaze Tuk-Tuk driver had been exhilarating.
‘What are you thinking about?’
Gracie jumped and looked at Rocco, and her heart turned over. She’d refused to let her mind go back to her revelation that she was falling for him. Far too dangerous. If she didn’t think about it, she thought weakly, perhaps the feeling would go away.
She forced a smile now, and said lightly, ‘I was just thinking that the last woman you took to Bangkok probably didn’t enjoy the Tuk-Tuk ride half as much as I did.’
