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“I’m not wanting you to spray any potential attacker with your tits. I want you to be able to defend yourself.”
“Okay, you’re the boss.”
For the next hour or two, he showed her moves and methods to get out of certain poses and attacks. Each one scarier than the last. By the time they were done, he’d told her where to attack to get the most impact, and what could be used. She didn’t like all this additional knowledge. Especially for fear she might use it on Reaper. What if she did attack Reaper at night?
Killed him.
What would she do then?
Could she even go back to Preacher?
Was there a way for her to find happiness with the man she loved while also raising another man’s child? It seemed way too far-fetched.
“Are you still in contact with Bishop?” she asked as Reaper lifted her up in the air, spinning her around.
She saw the anger in his eyes before he let her go.
“Yes.”
“Does he know where you are?”
“If you’re wondering where Preacher is, he’s still looking for you.”
“No, I didn’t mean that.”
“Then what did you mean?” he asked. His voice was harsh, growling.
“I don’t know. I guess with Bethany, it reminds me of the friendship we lost.”
“Well, if you cared so much about him, you wouldn’t have screwed his dad.”
Robin tensed up in his arms. She pulled away from him but Reaper grabbed her. “You’re hurting me,” she said.
“No, I’m not. You’re just afraid I will hurt you and you don’t need to be. You’re the one who has changed, Robin. Not me. I would never hurt you or Bethany. I love you both and I know you’re having doubts. I don’t blame you. You’re afraid of me, and I do get it, but I’m telling you that you don’t need to be afraid. I would never do anything to harm you or our child. I love you with all of my heart.”
Before she could say anything else, the monitor alerted them to Bethany waking. “I better go see her.” She wanted to say more but instead, she turned on her heel and left, going to attend their daughter.
Reaper’s anger scared her. She was also afraid of her own feelings. What had happened to her? This was her life now. She needed to settle and get used to it. Reaper had been good to her. Not in the beginning, but now he was.
Only, this had all been about revenge to him. His love for her wasn’t pure. It wasn’t anything. He’d wanted to hurt Preacher. If he was still in contact with Bishop, did that mean he was sending photos and updates about how they were doing? Did Preacher already know she was mother to his enemy’s child?
Lifting Bethany in her arms, she smelled the diaper and immediately started to change it. If he knew the truth, was that why he wasn’t coming to her? Coming to get her, to find her, to love her.
Could anyone really love her now?
She’d been in bed with the enemy and it hadn’t been by force.
Tears filled her eyes, but she swatted them away. She didn’t want Reaper to know the full extent of her fears and concerns. This was supposed to be about them having a fresh start, not her craving the love of another man. She had to cut everything off from her old life if she was ever going to be able to survive this.
Bethany needed her.
Preacher didn’t.
All she had to do was survive. If there was ever a chance of her to be with Preacher again, she’d take it, but would he ever willingly accept another man’s child?
It wouldn’t matter. The option would never arise.
She would just accept what her life had been dealt. Some women were in a much worse predicament than she was.
