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Pulling away from Preacher, she knew she had to stand on her own two feet, now more than ever before. This wasn’t the time for her to fall. She had to be strong.
“I gave birth to her in a car,” she said. She started to laugh. “Rea
per was showing me this house. He was willing to settle down. I was scared when it came to Bethany. I didn’t think constantly being on the move was a good idea. I had gotten sick during one of our moves, and I nearly died,” she said.
Preacher took her hand. “I know you want some space right now, but I need to hold you. It’ll stop me going in there and killing him dead.”
She smiled. Her hands were cold and his were large. They still had a way of making her feel safe, secure, and warm. “I know this is hard for you.”
“Nah, this is a piece of cake for me. I’m concerned about how you’re dealing with all of this,” he said. “You got to remember, not so long ago, you didn’t even know your name.”
“That would have been a lot easier, wouldn’t it?” She laughed, but it was a forced sound. “I’m dealing. It’s all I can do.” She shrugged. “Reaper helped me give birth to our daughter. I held her in my arms and he drove us back to the hospital. We didn’t use our names, but I registered Bethany there. She was so healthy.”
“She looked beautiful,” Preacher said. “Did you put her in the nursery?”
“Yes.”
“Can I go and see her?” Preacher asked.
“You’d like that?”
“It seems when it comes to you, Robin, I don’t really think straight. I’d like to go and see your daughter. I might be able to understand why you don’t want me to hurt the man who took you.” He got to his feet and she followed him.
Turning around, she was hit by guilt once again. Reaper stood watching her, his gaze questioning. This was so fucking hard. Why couldn’t she go back to when it was easier for her, when she hated Reaper more than anything?
From the moment she’d gotten her memory back, each second had been a harsh bombardment of reality she couldn’t deal with. But she had to. Her mother once told her she was weak, that she was nothing. That was laughable. It wasn’t one time. No, her mother liked to tell her repeatedly what a disappointment and a failure she was. Nothing she ever did was good enough or right. For the longest time, she’d believed her, and yet, she’d gone through a lot already and was still standing.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside the house where Reaper was waiting. He looked … expectant. She didn’t know if that was the right way to describe him.
“Robin,” he said. He made no move to touch her or to reach out but there was something in his eyes, like he expected her to do something. Maybe she was overreacting here. Whatever the reason, she didn’t like it.
“I … I’m showing Preacher Bethany,” she said.
“He’ll hurt her.”
“No, he won’t.”
“He hates me and he’ll hurt my daughter.”
“Preacher won’t do any such thing. He hurts the people who deserve it, not the innocent. If I’m still walking and breathing, then Bethany is fine.” There was no way Preacher would ever harm their daughter. He was many things, but a monster to babies wasn’t it. Sure, he wanted to kill Bishop, but his son was neither a baby, nor innocent.
“I would never hurt you, Robin,” Preacher said. “And I won’t harm a defenseless child, no matter the father. I left O’Klaren’s children alone, didn’t I?”
“Let’s not argue,” she said, holding her hands up. “This won’t do any of us any good. Please, I need us all to stay focused.”
“If he’s going, I’m going.”
“This is his house, Reaper. You know he’s the one who’s going to make all the rules, not us.”
“And he knows I’m not going anywhere,” Reaper said.
“This is fine,” Preacher said. “I don’t mind him being here so long as he knows his place, which is far the fuck away from me.”
“I don’t want Bethany to be caught up in this. This is my fault,” she said, looking between the two men she’d fallen for. Neither man deserved what she’d given them. They were both there, waiting for her to make a decision, one she couldn’t make.
There was no doubt in her mind what this all meant.
One day very soon, she was going to have to make a choice. A choice between these two men, but right now, she didn’t have a clue how she was ever going to be able to pick. “Can we please go and see her?” That choice wasn’t needed today.
