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She groaned. “I only closed my eyes for a minute.”
“Why is it so important for you to graduate before our
baby comes?” he asked.
“I don’t know. It just is. I think … I’m scared. I’m not going to have time to study when the baby comes. I remember what it was like with Bethany.” She reached out, stroking their girl’s cheek. She was already curling up in Preacher’s arms getting ready to go to sleep.
“You’re doing too much and when you do, it tires you out.”
“I know. I know.”
“Do I have to bribe Randall to put you on bed rest?”
“You shouldn’t be able to bribe anyone,” she said.
“This is me you’re talking to.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I just, I want this, you know. I feel like I’m finally getting my life back and if I can do this, then I’m not failing? It probably makes no sense.”
“It makes a lot of sense. More sense than you even realize.”
She blew out a breath as her stomach started to growl. “What do I owe the social call to?”
“I talked to Bishop. A decision has been made.” He watched her tense.
“It has? That was fast.”
He laughed. “You think that’s fast?”
“You know what I mean.”
“He’s going to be free.”
“Free?”
“Yeah. The guys took into account his help during the … well, Reaper, and he can never join the club or have any association. On that score, he’s well and truly finished.”
“Wow. This is certainly a morning to remember. I mean, did you do this?”
“Robin, I want to be clear on something.” He reached for her hand, the one carrying his engagement ring. “I’m not a good man. I will never claim to be anything of the sort. I won’t even sit here and pretend I in some way stopped the boys from making the right decision. It’s not who I am, and it never will be.”
He ran his thumb across the tiny diamond. He’d spent a small fortune on it and seeing it on her finger gave him a thrill. “I’m going to be honest with you, I want to kill Bishop.”
“He’s your son.”
“And he fucked up big time. I can’t just forgive shit like that. It’s not who I am.”
“Then who is it?” she asked. “I don’t want you to kill Bishop because of me. There’s already a lot of death on my hands.”
“No. It’s not.” He squeezed her hand, hoping to offer her some comfort, but she shook her head.
“Yes, it is. Milly. O’Klaren. My mom. Reaper. His club. It’s all because of me.” She started to have tears in her eyes. “How can I not be filled with so much regret? If I’d died, none of this would have happened.”
Preacher gritted his teeth. “Let me be clear and I will only ever say this once, and you will never bring it up. Milly died because she hurt you. Not only did she drug you, she put you in a bad situation. It could have been a lot worse. She disobeyed the club. O’Klaren, that fucker took everything from us. He had it coming. I will never mourn his death. Your mother, she was in bed with him. She wanted you to suffer, and in no way should you feel sorry for her. She was a spiteful bitch with a rotten cunt. Don’t ever regret her death. She would’ve done everything in her power to make you suffer. Reaper and his club. I know you had feelings for him. I don’t want to understand it, but what makes everything worse is that I do. The only good thing to come from your time with him is this little girl, and believe me, she is a very special, beautiful girl. Now, I love you. You will not feel guilt or pain, or any other kinds of those feelings. Do you understand me?”
“I understand.”
“No buts. Nothing. Your hands are clean. They will always be clean and I promise you, Robin, I’m going to make sure you never know pain or death again.” He gripped the back of her neck and pulled her closer. “Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this kid has taken a big dump and it stinks. I don’t do diapers.”
