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“We’ve got a little girl.”
“I’m not… I’m not a good father, Robin. Can’t you see that? I’ve never been a good father.”
“You’re perfect with Bethany.”
“Yeah, because … I don’t fucking know why I’m good with her, but look what I did to Bishop. I fucked him up in ways I didn’t think was possible. I’m not a good man and you think I am.”
“Preacher, I have no expectations of you.”
“I’m going to ruin our child’s life. I just know I am.”
“He’s not even born yet.”
“You know what I mean,” he said.
“I don’t. I don’t have a clue why you’re so afraid. He’s going to be our son, and we will raise him together.”
“I don’t know what it means to be a good father.”
“Do you really think anyone in this world knows what it means to be good at anything?”
“I’m not talking about the world. I’m talking about me.”
“And I’m trying to get you to see that your fears are like every other man’s. You’re not the only person in the world who’s afraid of fucking up. We all are.” The tears she’d tried so hard to keep contained spilled down her cheeks.
“You think this is easy for me? I have one daughter who I forgot for nearly a year. I had no recollection of Bethany. I mean, wow, I saw her, touched her cheek in the supermarket, and I still didn’t recognize her. Yet, talking to me now, I wouldn’t think there was any way I wouldn’t be able to know my child. We can’t be held accountable for everything, Preacher.”
“I’m a bad fucking father and that’s all you need to know. This son of ours, it’s a mistake.”
She took his hand and placed it across her chest. “You think this is a mistake, but I say you’re so damn wrong. There’s no mistake when we love each other the way we do. I love you more than anything else in the world, and I will fight for you every single time, Preacher. This hasn’t been easy. I don’t expect it is, but if you’re basing it on Bishop and what happened to you by your own father, then you are wrong. We’ll get through this together. We are new parents and if we can love and take care of Bethany, then no matter the sex of our child, we will love our baby no matter what. You will be the perfect dad. We’ll help each other be perfect for one another. I know this is going to be long and scary but together, we can do this.”
“You think so?”
Robin couldn’t recall ever seeing him so vulnerable. Cupping his face, she pulled him close and kissed his mouth. “Yes, I do. We’ve been through so much together and I have faith in you, in us. I know we can make this work, and we’re going to make this work. Trust in me. Trust in us.”
He stroked her cheek. “I don’t know how it happened, but falling for you was the best fucking thing I ever did.”
He kissed her hard, and Robin felt it all the way down into her core. She wouldn’t give up on him, on them. She would fight for him with every single fiber of her being.
****
“Do you want to make a run for it?” Bear asked one month later.
“Shut up.”
“I’m just saying. It’s the clubhouse and if anyone has a way out of here, it’s you.”
“Shut up.”
“I know Robin’s my daughter and she could totally do with a better man than you. You know, between the titty clubs, the pussy you own, drugs, guns, fights, the blood on your hands. I should be dragging my daughter back home and telling her to never leave the house. That’s what a good father would have done.”
“Are you done?”
“Not quite. I have to make sure you’re ready, to, you know, stick the course with my girl.”
“I love your girl. I always will.”
Bear smiled. “Good.”
