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“Do you think it was a good idea to ally yourself with such, let’s say, touchy creatures?”
“I knew I was going to need help to stop Mason and I never got anything but the silent treatment from your bunch, so who was I supposed to go to? Besides, Aelita wants you out of the way, and for all I knew, she was the new CEO of Heaven Inc.”
“Boys? I’m new here,” says Alice. “What are Kissi? Why did Mason bring me here?”
I say, “Kissi are like angels, only worse. I’m not sure why you’re here now. I thought it was just to get rid of me, but with what Aelita said to you, there might be something more.” I look at Neshamah. “You want to jump in here with any insights?”
He shrugs.
“Mason wants to get into Heaven. She’s from Heaven. Maybe he thinks she hid a key under a flowerpot.”
“I don’t even know how I got here,” Alice says. She notices the sky behind Neshamah’s head and it must have just registered that the darkness isn’t night, but a coffin lid of smoke blotting out the sky.
Alice looks at me.
“Did you just say you’re friends with Lucifer?”
“Not friends really. We’re more like professional assholes who play golf occasionally and get drunk at the clubhouse before talking business.”
Neshamah smiles and addresses Alice.
“Actually, there is no Lucifer at the moment. The old one is retired. Your friend James here is up to replace him. As is Mason.”
Alice gives me that I-don’t-know-who-you-are look again. Wraps her arms around herself.
“Is that really why you’re back? You’re finally going to whip them out and see whose is bigger?”
I look at Neshamah.
“The Gnostics were right about you after all, you evil motherfucker.”
I turn to Alice.
“I came back here because I love you. But I’m also here to kill Mason because he needs killing. He’s not going to be Lucifer or this sack of shit,” I say, nodding at Neshamah.
“What does that mean?”
“I have to go. Let Rain Man here explain it to you.”
Alice stares at Neshamah.
“Do I know you from somewhere?”
“You might have run into one of my brothers.”
“Do you think you could possibly not be a prick long enough for me to go and finish this?” I ask.
“Are you running off to Pandemonium alone? That’s magnificently stupid.”
“I’m going to Houdini someone out of Tartarus, but I don’t even know where it is. Do you have a map of the stars’ homes or something I could borrow?”
Neshamah scratches his chin.
“I have to hand it to you, kid. You’re a pain in my ass but you’re not boring. Tartarus is in the Badlands.”
Alice reaches for my arm but her hand goes through me.
“Wait. We finally see each other again and you’re dumping me here with a stranger?”
