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She takes the glass and says, “Brigitte’s asleep in the bedroom. I’m going to go and check on her.”
When she’s gone, Kasabian limps over on his twisted leg.
“So you lost the preacher.”
“You noticed.”
“Too bad. He seemed like an okay guy.”
“He was.”
“I saw them take him away.”
“Who?”
“The soul-sorting crew. I’ve been spending a lot of time looking around Downtown. You know, business research. Remember how I said souls go off the radar for a while when they’re being processed into Hell?”
“I remember.”
The ache behind my eyes feels less like monkeys trying to hammer their way out of my head and more like guppies with rubber mallets.
“Turns out it’s not the same for everyone. Murderers and rapists and your run-of-the-mill baby-eating dictators are white bread and mayo Downtown. They can take a while to get inside. But sinners against God? They’re filet mignon and get priority sorting.”
I rub the ache from my temples.
“Your boy Traven was in and out faster than a microwave burrito.”
“Where is he now?”
Kasabian leans back in his chair, giving me a funny look.
“You were Lucifer. Don’t you know?”
“I wasn’t very good at the job.”
“Color me surprised.”
“Do you have a name?”
“He’s in Helheim. A frozen patch of paradise way up north of Pandemonium. It’s where everyone who has a beef with God goes. It’s a lot like Antarctica, but instead of penguins they have armed guards.”
“Thanks,” I say, and try to stand. It almost works. I get up on the second try.
“Too bad you didn’t take me up on my business offer. You could find my hoarder and say hi to the father on the way back.”
“I’m going to do better than that.”
“FedEx him some mittens?”
“I’m going to get him out of there.”
Kasabian picks some fried shrimp off a plate someone abandoned on the coffee table. The sight of food almost makes me heave up my crab cocktail.
“I think certain people might be resistant to that idea,” he says.
“I’ll persuade them. Can you see Helheim? How many guards are there?”
“Not many,” he says through a full mouth. “Not many. Eight maybe? The prison is in the middle of nowhere. Not many places to escape to.”
