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“It’s a corn maze. Muninn has pretty much the entire history of L.A. down here. Corn mazes used to be a big item.”
She looks at me like I’m supposed to say something.
I shrug.
“What?”
“Mustang Sally said that the way to Hell has been there for you since you got back.”
“What makes you think it’s that fucking fire hazard?”
“She also said the most complicated is the simplest. Maybe we just walk the maze and it take us where we want to go.”
“Or maybe we’ll die of thirst next to some dried-up old jack-o’-lanterns. Those corn mazes were just Halloween hijinks.”
Candy crosses her arms. In the oversize coat, she looks like an angry tween who didn’t get asked to the prom. But I don’t tell her that.
“Then you tell me what it means. Are we seriously going to put every kitten and teacup puzzle together? And open every puzzle box ever made? How many years do we have to spare?”
I look at the maze.
“What if we’re wrong? We could get lost in there for days.”
“We won’t. I know it. Call it Jade’s instinct.”
I pick up a rusty picture frame. It tries to bite me, so I throw it away.
“Jade instinct? Where did that come from? You’ve never mentioned that before.”
“I just made it up. But it’s telling me that going in there is a better idea than jacking around with Rubik’s Cubes and crossword puzzles.”
“And if it’s a de
ad end? How do we get out?”
“We do Hansel and Gretel again. Leave a coin at each turn.”
I look at the shaggy thing.
“Can’t we just burn it down and find the exit that way?”
“That’s that subtle Sandman Slim thinking that gets all the girls worked up,” says Candy. “If we burn it, we’ll burn up the magic and probably this whole warehouse.”
I look at the hundred puzzles she must have in her wheelbarrow. I probably have even more in my cart.
“I’m worn out. You’ve worn me out. Just remember that if the world explodes, it’s your fault.”
“Yeah, but I’m going out in great shoes.”
She takes my arm and pulls me to the maze, filled with all the confidence I haven’t had since this thing began.
At the maze entrance I say, “What do we do? Just walk in?”
Candy punches me on the arm.
“Didn’t you have a childhood? You turn left. Then you keep turning left. That’s the best way through a maze.”
“Is that true?”
