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“Then never let her forget it.”
“That’s the plan.”
From the back, Candy says, “As much as I appreciate you gentlemen declaring your undying devotion to me, would you mind shutting the fuck up so I can go back to sleep?”
“Sorry, ma’am,” says Bill.
“Yeah. Sorry.”
Everyone is quiet for a minute. Then Candy kicks me through the car seat.
“You loooove me,” she says like a little kid.
“Shut up.”
“No take-backs. You loooove me.”
“Go to sleep.”
“You’ll make such a blushing bride when we get married.”
“Please. I’ll take you to Disney World if you’ll just stop talking.”
She kicks me again.
“Jim, you heard him. You’re a witness. We’re going to Disney World.”
“She has you trapped there,” says Bill.
“I know. Now go to sleep.”
She lies down and gets quiet. Then, in a tiny singsong whisper I hear, “You loooove me.”
Finally, she drifts off and Bill closes his eyes.
It’s going to be a long day.
A FEW HOURS later, Candy sits up and says groggily, “Has it been two hours?”
I check the time on my phone.
“More like eight.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“It was a long boring night. I got hypnotized by it.”
“No, you didn’t. You just didn’t trust us. You had to see it all with your own eyes.”
“Careful. Disney World is slipping away.”
She climbs back into the driver’s seat and pushes me over.
“Oh, we’re going to Disney World. And you’re going to get some sleep.”
“What’s going on?” says Bill.
“Dirty Harry here didn’t wake us for our shifts. He’s been watching the place for hours.”
