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That won’t be for a while, not if I have to haul my sorry ass through this hayseed labyrinth. I keep waiting for Minotaurs or Victorian floozies to come running by, high on ether and absinthe. Now that I mention it, I wouldn’t mind some of that myself. It would make the time pass faster. Or pass at all. How long have I been here? Right. No phone. No clock.
I’m really starting to feel a little ragged. Maybe I should have crashed at Bill’s a little longer. No. That’s dumb. If this bugbite is anything, then I have to get home and see Allegra.
Man, it’s hot in here.
Candy and I got to Hell by turning left the whole way. Logically, I should get back by turning right. Wait. Does that make sense? You turn left to get through a maze. Maybe right is wrong. Ha. That was funny. Right it is, then.
Are the rows narrower going back? I swear they are. I keep bouncing off the sides.
Shit.
Just fell through one of the walls into a different row. Does that mean I turn left or right from here?
Right. Keep turning right. I’m sure of it.
Fuck.
Look for something familiar.
Hey, it’s more corn. That helps.
Shut up and keep turning right.
Is my leg getting numb too?
I get out the black blade and poke my calf a few times.
Yep. Can’t feel a thing. And I think I’m bleeding.
Is it hot in here? I’m really thirsty.
I turn another corner and start up a steep hill.
That doesn’t seem right. Still. Nowhere else to go but forward.
It’s a long way up and the ground is slippery. I look down at my feet. The road is covered in those centipedes from the park. I crush them with every step. Pale green guts explode on the road and my boots. There’s nowhere to stop now and I can’t go back the way I came. Got to get out of Deadwood with my head in one piece. That’s the most important thing.
How long have I been here? It’s really hot.
At the top of the hill is the Wormwood mansion. Which is bullshit because I saw it burn. Great. I’m hallucinating. Or was the other time a hallucination? Wait. Was I really in Hell at all? Maybe I’ve been in the maze this whole time. I wasn’t bitten by a bug. I just feel lousy because I haven’t had any food or water for a while. That means I’m lost, right? Or maybe the maze is just longer than we thought.
Wait. Where’s Candy? If we’re still going through the maze, she’d be with me. Unless we got separated back at the mansion. Was there a mansion? I remember one, but maybe it was just that place I broke into in Beverly Hills. Where was that? Beverly Hills. Right. I just said that. Concentrate.
Stop falling. And stop going up the hill to the damned mansion. It wasn’t even real. You’re in the maze. Still. The mansion looks awfully real. As I go past, I look at the upstairs windows. See Nick’s face staring down at me. He waves. I wave back. Good news. Beverly Hills. I’m almost home.
My leg really hurts. Maybe I poked it too hard with the knife. Maybe I ought to look. Can I do that without falling over?
Nope. Ow. Fuck my head. I can’t see right.
Along the cornstalks are playing cards. They’re all aces and eights. But there’s a fifth card ahead, skittering along the floor in a breeze. I get up and follow it.
Funny. I think my leg is bleeding. Or is that another hallucination?
That must be it. Anyway, I lost the card. Damn. I’d like to know what it is. It’s important, but I can’t remember why.
Is it hot in here?
I’m on the ground. That’s the first thing I’ve been certain of in a while. Face in the dirt. It doesn’t smell that bad. Like corn and earth.
