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Rolling onto her side, Nikki propped her head up with her hand. “Did it help?”
He shrugged. “A little. I still have nightmares every once in a great while, but talking about my troubles with someone allowed me to focus better overall.” Tracing her cheek with a finger, he added, “You can talk to me, you know. Despite what you might think, I’m a pretty good listener if I want to be.”
Even a few weeks ago, she would’ve called bullshit. But thinking of how he’d listened to her ramble about her mother earlier, she believed him.
Still, talking about her captivity would mean releasing the memories she’d worked so hard to suppress.
Her dragon huffed. Think of Charlie.
What does our dead friend and mentor have to do with anything?
You vowed retribution, but what if a panic attack happens when we’re inside a dragon hunter’s hideout? Or, facing a group of them? You will fail everyone, including yourself. Is that what you want?
Nikki didn’t want to admit her dragon had a point. Still, would Rafe think less of her if she told him the truth?
Rafe’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “Tell me what’s on your mind, Nikki. I’m starting to get a tad jealous of your dragon.”
Her dragon hummed inside her mind, but Nikki ignored her. “I’m not sure if jealous is the right word. Having a two-sided conversation inside your head can be tiring at times.”
“You say that, but I guarantee you wouldn’t give her up for the world.”
“No,” she answered. “I wouldn’t.”
Cupping her cheek, Rafe caressed her skin with a gentle back-and-forth motion of his thumb. “Tell me and I’ll hold you close until you fall asleep. Maybe I can help fend off the memories.”
The corner of her mouth ticked up. “You’re turning into quite the cuddler, Rafe Hartley. If you’re not careful, you might ruin your reputation with the females.”
“I don’t care about my bloody reputation with women,” he snarled. “I’m trying to get one particular woman to open up to me, but it’s like squeezing blood from a stone at times.”
She frowned. “Hey, that’s not fair. You haven’t told me much at all about yourself, apart from your work. I still don’t know what happened to your friend who died.”
“I don’t tend to talk about personal details with other people. It’s going to take some time to change that.”
“Then how about this? You tell me about your friend who was killed in action and I’ll tell you what caused my nightmare.”
~~~
Rafe kept in his curse. Nikki was too clever.
Not that he didn’t eventually want to share everything with her, but talking about Noah’s death was never easy. Especially since it reminded him of how much of a bastard he’d been to Nikki four years ago.
Still, the lightly damp cheek under his skin reminded him of Nikki’s screaming and thrashing about. Something was bothering her. The knowledge she could be silently suffering didn’t sit well with him.
While he hated the fact the last few days of fun and teasing might be tarnished with his past, it would be selfish not to help when he had the chance. After all, it would not only heal her own mind, it would help prevent stress for their child.
And Rafe would do anything for his unborn child, even if it meant baring his soul.
Clearing his throat, he never took his gaze from Nikki’s. “We have a deal.” He settled to a more comfortable position on his side before continuing, “Noah Tucker was my best mate from childhood. We even signed up for the army together at sixteen. While we were assigned different units for years, we both worked as hard as we could to be the best, which landed us in the Special Forces.
“Since we were assigned some of the most dangerous missions and were looking for new strategies to try, the dragon-shifter guard was sent to work with us. I’ll admit that at first, we were all skeptical about trusting them. At the time, very little was known about the dragons apart from the sacrifice program and the healing properties of their blood. While any dragon-shifter who wants to be a Protector is required to work for two years with the British armed forces, they had never before been sent to work critical assignments. But by that point, we’d been in Afghanistan for so many years the military was willing to try something new.
“Everyone protested about working with the ‘unpredictable beasts.’ However, after meeting a few of the dragon-shifters and watching some demonstrations, Noah, myself, and a few others believed the dragons could help. Then came our first coordinated assignment.
“We were to infiltrate an enemy stronghold. It was a smaller, isolated location that was disguised as a farm. According to the intelligence, fifteen men were hiding out there with a stockpile of weapons and armored vehicles that would soon be delivered to our enemies. The assignment was simple enough—secure the enemies and take possession of the contraband. By doing so, it would weaken the enemy forces in the area, giving our side the chance to attack with minimal casualties and less collateral damage.
“Our team was divided into three groups—one headed by me, another by Noah, and a third by the dragon-shifters. We all made our approach after dark, but someone must’ve discovered our plans because, within seconds, a series of flash bombs went off, blinding us.”
Rafe paused as the light and sounds filled his head as if it had happened the day before. The barrage of bullets, the yelling, the scent of blood. It all came rushing back.
