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It beats the highborn approach.
“That’s a rather low bar, don’t you think?”
I miss it, though. We should start our own highborn family.
Lila raised a brow. It was the second time he’d said such a thing.
She closed one of the cereal boxes and laid it flat, then snatched up her granola bar and banged it against the cardboard like a gavel. “Honorable matrons and primes,” she said, clearing her throat and speaking to an imaginary crowd seated at the table. “We are here today at this emergency meeting of the High Council of Judges to hear a petition from Dixon Leclair. He wishes to become the thirteenth house of the New Bristol highborn, and the first chairman in the history of the Allied Lands.”
Dixon sat up. A smile played about his lips.
“What can you, Mr. Leclair, offer the good matrons of New Bristol? Why should we allow you to become a judge?”
Every henhouse needs a cock.
Lila patted his cheek. “And what a lovely little cock you have.”
BIG COCK!!!
“Ah, my mistake. I do believe your reasoning is growing on me. It’ll be rather hard for us to counter.”
Dixon rolled his eyes.
“You’re right, as always. The High Council of Judges could always do with a bit more cock.” Lila looked around the room. “All who agree that the matrons need more cock, please raise your hands.”
She pointed, counting all the imaginary hands in the room.
“I count twenty.”
Everyone raised bo
th hands?
“No, both legs.” She winked and struck the cereal box once more. “Mr. Leclair, please tell us what color you’ve chosen for your family.”
She eyed him up and down, then put her hand upon his notepad before he could write.
“On second thought, never mind. I’m guessing you pick all of them, you greedy little shit.”
Dixon burst out into laughter.
His dimples reappeared.
“Now for your coat of arms. What animal have you chosen to represent your house?”
He pointed to his forehead.
“A unicorn?”
Dixon sighed and turned to his notepad.
“Why not unicorns—they poop rainbows, don’t they?”
Dixon considered her reasoning and offered a stiff nod.
“Mr. Leclair allows it. With the power invested in me as the only intelligent member of the New Bristol High Council of Judges, Dixon Leclair is now the newest highborn chairman in New Bristol. However, you are hereby sworn to secrecy over your new position. Unicorns are too tacky. We could never acknowledge you openly. Can you live with these terms?”
Chuckling, he nodded.
